<p>I am willing and enthusiastic about receiving intellectual challenges and the College of engineering offers an opportunity to demonstrate it. </p>
<p>Would this sentence be suitable for the last sentence of the essay? Does it sound right?</p>
<p>To demonstrate what?</p>
<p>^ His enthusiasm, and willingness to work.</p>
<p>Eh I dunno, it sounded a bit unclear to me at first glance. Too much stress on my brain these days it seems.</p>
<p>lol bump…</p>
<p>I agree that “it” should not be the last word.</p>
<p>How about something like: “I am willing and excited about receiving intellectual challenges and the College of engineering offers an opportunity to demonstrate that enthusiasm.” </p>
<p>Also, if it is named “College of Engineering” then the “E” should be capitalized.</p>
<p>The sentence doesn’t really make sense…you want to go the the College of Engineering so you can demonstrate your enthusiasm about an intellectually challenging environment?</p>
<p>How about something like:
The College of Engineering of engineering provides the intellectual challenge I enthusiastically seek as I continue you my education. </p>
<p>Make it stronger if it’s one of your top choices.</p>
<p>kinda plain. I suggest you end with something either short and simple, or extravagant and mindblowing.</p>
<p>I don’t think it’s a strong enough ending, there’s nothing clinching and the sentence is a little hard to follow.</p>
<p>I would almost write it with a tone of confidence say: "The intellectually challenging environment of the College of Engineering is an exemplary opportunity to showcase my enthusiastic dedication to (enter choice word here).</p>
<p>Yeah, i also don’t think its riveting enough. Anyone ( 100 other people) could have written that same sentence. Its a lazy ending tbh. Maybe think of something else?</p>