Just my two cents here … that and $2.22 will get you a medium cup of coffee at Dunkin’ Donuts –
I agree that this young man needs to figure out a plan to cover his living expenses in case he and his dad get kicked off this current gravy train. However, I think some posters are being a bit harsh implying that he’s somehow complicit in freeloading off this woman who willingly supports her boyfriend and his son (though I don’t doubt it’s not without some loud or passive-aggressive grumblings). The OP is a high school senior who didn’t ask for this situation. Yes I know that life isn’t fair … “man up, pull yourself up by your bootstraps …”
I’d like to tell the OP that I’m really sorry that your parents have put you in a precarious situation where you don’t have a stable home life. Your dad has managed to be worth it enough to his GF to agree to feed and shelter him and his son in exchange for companionship and housekeeping. Most kids don’t have to worry about paying room and board – it is a given that they have a home to live in (sure, it’s right and reasonable to expect chores and responsibilities, but generally kids aren’t “roommates”) It sounds like you’ve been motivitated, applied yourself in school, and have a bright future ahead. This is your ticket to a self-sufficient and independent life.
To answer your original question, you’ve gotten some good advice here. Sure, it would probably be nice to kick in for room/board despite the fact that none of the other household members are doing so. My recommendation would be to make sure your school-related expenses are covered (and that includes transportation and meals) before giving anything to dad’s GF. What do you currently do for spending money? Definitely get a job and save money.
Lets say the situation was reversed. If a mom was cooking, cleaning and taking the kids to school, nobody would be so vehemently telling her to get a job.
Rgosula, I would be. If a mom were living in the BF’s apartment, expecting the kids financial aid to get diverted towards running the household, I’d sure be encouraging said mom to find a job. Any job. Both because of the clear financial benefits and ability to contribute to running the household so the kid’s financial aid could be put to its intended use, AND because it sets a tone and expectation for the entire blended/extended family.
It is very possible that the dad and GF are VERY aware of the financial aid situation…and dad is not working SO this kid will be eligible for the Pell Grant, and any state aid for low income students. The timing is about right in terms of planning ahead.
@thumper1 you could be correct. There’s a student at my D18’s school whose mother hasn’t married her bf for this exact reason. Now the mother works, but she doesn’t make much, so her D will qualify for some pretty good FA.
I think there have been some pretty harsh posts about the mom without knowing much about her situation other than she lives with her boyfriend and his kids and doesn’t work. Maybe all the kids are little and they’ve agreed she’ll stay home until they’re older. I don’t really know, but we don’t know that she’s freeloading.
I think OP needs to create a budget. Once he does, I think he’ll realize he won’t have much left to give to the girlfriend once all his school expenses are covered unless he gets a job. When he does work he should save as much as he can in case he needs to get a shared apartment. He’s definitely going to need it for his last 2 years of school. Has he said what state he’s in?
It might be to his advantage to open an account and have all his pay and any refunds direct deposited. He may also want to choose electronic statements instead of paper ones. But I think if he wants to stay there any length of time he’s going to have to contribute something to the household.
Yes we would if the woman had her adult child living there while going to school. It would be very nervy for a woman (or man) to expect a SO to provide for their child, particularly an adult child.
If your mom’s boyfriend won’t pay for his own kids, I wouldn’t count on that as a backup if things go wrong at your dad’s girlfriend’s apartment. Your dad doesn’t have a job and it doesn’t appear that he’s a financial backup either. If your dad’s girlfriend kicked you out tomorrow, what would you do? For your own financial security, go get a job if you don’t already have one. Start contributing something to the household and start planning how you’re going to pay for 4 years of college.
What state do you live in? Are there 4 year schools within commuting distance? What are you planning to study?
Welp as someone that’s been looking for a job for the past 2 years to no avail, I’m pretty sure in the end I’ll just end up giving her $1000 for the school year split up into 6 payments (disbursement schedule).
Even if she doesn’t kick you out, if she’s stuck on being the sole support for her own psychological reasons, you still should do the right thing. You. After all, you did ask about what’s moral (ethical.) So what sort of young adult will you be?
Have you shown your resume to someone? Received help on your application?
There has to be a part time job with a few hours a week for HS students, somewhere within driving distance. This way you could keep your Pell money for educational expenses yet contribute to your household.
Oh come on. There are places that hire for Christmas, there are places that hire for summer, heck, even mcdonalds pretty much hires any decent applicant.
You must buy groceries somewhere. Apply at the local supermarket. Clothing?? Apply there. Pet supplies? Apply there. Fast food? Apply there. Ice cream? Apply there. Pizza? Apply there. Is there a local,pool? I bet they’re hiring now for the food concession.
I’ve heard kids around here say that no one is hiring… yet all 3 of my kids have jobs.mso do most of their friends. People are hiring all right…but not for the corner office jobs. Are you sure you’re not being too Picky?