Free public high school system? Ri-i-ight. We’ve been paying private school for two kids since Kindergarten, not by choice but by necessity. The public schools where we live are labeled as “failing” even by our backward state’s standards. The prices of homes in areas with good public schools are out of reach. So… what else is to do but live on a shoestring budget, paycheck to paycheck, and keep paying for private? No assets, no savings, no boats and second homes, no fancy vacations. Just a couple of beat-up cars that are downright embarrassing.
At our house, not a day goes by that we don’t pinch ourselves in disbelief for the good fortune we have had in the financial aid department–truly, it must be a dream! We never forget for an instant that we have been afforded an opportunity that many families in a similar position would not have. We are truly grateful.
My only point (and I’m still looking for corroboration on this) is that there may be a slight favoritism towards full-pay and even high-pay students–which is perhaps how it should be. As I see it, schools are like businesses, in that without paying customers, they could not continue to operate. A school full of Fefekids, as interesting as that might be, would be a bankrupt school. It just stands to reason that schools would be more intent on attracting and keeping full-pay kids than financial aid kids.
I should emphasize that schools differ. Fefekid1’s less than satisfying experience at school probably had little if anything to do with our financial status. Rather, it was just a poorly run school that is having difficulty competing for students and staying afloat. The student body has large contingents of foreign students and day students who are often funded at least in part by local scholarships. There were relatively few domestic boarders. Nonetheless, Fefekid1 still preferred to be there, as opposed to the local public high school.
Fefekid2’s school is so different in so many ways. It’s in the same geographical area as Fefekid1’s school, but is seemingly serving a different clientele. The number of foreign students has been growing in recent years, but there is still a strong domestic full-pay contingent composed mostly of day students. Indeed, it is hard to fathom how much money some of these families have. Fefekid2 loves this school.
You get a sense of the affluence of these families from the way the kids handle their possessions: a kid will spend $35 on a new hoodie, wear it once, take it off, put it on a bench, forget that it’s there and walk away. The shirt is then officially and forever “lost,” which means the kid goes back to the school store the next day for another. I know this is the case because various dorm parents have confirmed it.
At the end of the year the school lays out mountains of lost and found clothing on the gym floor. Not much stuff is reclaimed by the owners. Between these leftovers, the piles of stuff that kids simply throw out at the end of the year, and hand-me-downs from friends, Fefekid2 is able to attend school fully dressed. No joke.
Yes, I won’t deny that schools make mistakes and can make you fight for aid. They say one thing (“we don’t expect parents to go into debt to pay tuition”) and then the following year you learn the hard way that their policy has changed. Or you fill out the PFS form and for some reason they ignore your situation–as if you were lying, and you really have a secret Swiss bank account. It’s always painfully humiliating to have to plead for handouts. Yet we would never hesitate to do so, considering the alternatives. And we never forget to express our heartfelt thanks.
Substandard is relative to where you put the standard. Average U.S. population goes to those schools. The school buildings have roof? Not that I would even consider sending mine to one in our district. Of course I understand you.
@SculptorDad They do have roof. They also have drugs, gangs, rape, graffiti, 60% drop-out rate, and other inner-city accomplishments. The standard for designating a school as “failing” in our state is the bottom 6% of all schools (the state itself is probably at the bottom 6% nationally).
My only point (and I’m still looking for corroboration on this) is that there may be a slight favoritism towards full-pay and even high-pay students–which is perhaps how it should be. - FEFE
Favoritism in admissions, because economics dictate it, yes. Favoritism within the community? Very bad form.
Wow. That is heavy.
@DonFefe Good post.
Of course there are failing schools and just plain awful schools, but that is a problem that should be fixed for every kid, not just for the uber-talented kids within that group. One could even argue that spending 300k on one kid from a bad school is horribly unfair when you could benefit a much wider group at that school with the 300k.
Of course, in the meantime, if it is your kid getting up in the morning going to that school, as a parent you do what you can.
But hopefully we all think about our role in improving education for everyone.
sigh Instead of trying to find a complex logic, my left-side view simply temporarily suspends when my child’s future is at stake. I am a good father first and only then a good citizen. Not too proud of it though.
Full pay certainly is a special group just like being a desirable minority.
SculptorDad, that is as it should be.
Center, not special, but the expected case for a luxury good. Not having to pay for a $300,000 luxury good is the exceptional case.
Financial aid depends on many things; some schools give full tuition for certain SAT scores - others want to lure in top students and give a good package. Do the Net Price Calculators on the school sites to see what you can somewhat expect in financial aid. It varies greatly from school to school. Some don’t give much aid at all, like NYU. Others who like your stats give a lot.
We have the philosophy that if the school has the major and the resources that our kids are looking for, and they receive good aid, then they can go. We have spent less for each of them than we would have had they gone to the state university. Our son got into his first choice, but they gave little aid. We went over the numbers with him, and estimated how long it would take him to pay back all the loans that he would need. He has seen how hard we work to pay bills on time - one of our cars is from 1993. He chose to go to the school which gave him great aid. He is doing very well in school, has had great opportunities, and will graduate with honors (knock on wood.) Our daughter also chose to go to the great school which gave her good aid. It is a good thing because our finances took a dive this past year with my husband’s work doing poorly. She is getting a great education, and their financial aid office helped us a bit.
Hi Mazeartcrew,
I think you are talking about college. We are talking about private, boarding high schools. 