And Amherst will surely want info from your exDH. Give him a heads up on that they will want his severance package info etc, it is in his interest that he works with you so get your kiddo to mediate this bit. IHe does his part in the CSS profile, right? So it will be expected.
I agree with @thumper1. Remain calm, present the facts, and plead for more. I think you will get something, thought not everything. What is your S doing for income this summer? He should work as much as he can and sock away $$$ for books, living expenses, etc. Assume it’s too late for him to apply to be an RA for next year, but you never know. Maybe ask. Anything to shave $$ off the cost.
A degree from Amherst will benefit him enormously in both the short and long run. Figuring out how to get to the finish line at Amherst is key. Worse case scenario, perhaps he takes a leave of absence for a year or a semester and saves some $$$ and then goes back.
Can we assume there are only the 2 kids and that he will be the only one in college for the next two years?
I understand where you are coming from as I too am divorced and we despise each other. But you have to tell your S what you can pay and tell him it’s his problem. HE has to get his dad to cough up the $ or figure out what HE is going to do.
Otherwise, your ex and your S will assume that YOU will solve this problem. But if your ex loves his S and understands that his S is going to have to quit Amherst and go to something like Bridgewater State --cheaper than UMass–dad may come up with it.
If Amherst won’t adjust the aid, your S should take a leave of absence and work for at least a year. It won’t solve the fin aid problem but may make dad see this is serious. I’d also have S find out how many, if any, credits from another college Amherst will accept.
Is there any legal responsibility for the NCP to pay for college? I found this which may help if ex is unwilling to contribute and you have to go back to court:
https://www.lynchowens.com/blog/2017/august/changes-to-child-support-for-adult-children-and-/
Sounds like it is not required in Mass., but can be ordered based on salary and assets of each parent.
Hopefully, he will come through and Amherst will adjust.
@4Gulls Student has a good summer job, plans to have $5,000 left over to put towards his tuition. He has multiple campus jobs lined up for next semester.
I spoke with Financial Aid department today and there were very few promising options. They won’t reassess financial aid until the January 2019 when our 2018 income financial are finalized. If they change his award, it would be retroactive, but still would have to have full amount for fall semester by August 10th. I can petition to request non custodial parent’s income be excluded from consideration, but that is a long shot as he has contributed the last two years and has cooperated with the CSS Profile etc. He just has a history of paying as little as possible. His suggestion with our current crisis was to enroll our other child in college ASAP (she’s chosen to go into trades). Anything except money out of his pocket.
I also found out my ex receive a severance so while he has been unemployed, he was compensated for it so I don’t have much hope for a reassessment of our combined incomes come January 2019, so unlikely to adjust the financial aid amount by much with his severance.
I’m planning to petition and request exclusion of non-custodial income by providing documentation of his past resistance to support kids. I have nothing to lose.
Agree that degree from Amherst is exceptional and this is why he chose to go here. Hoping we can still make it happen.
He has a ton of momentum for internships next summer so taking a gap year would alleviate all he’s invested into these opportunities. He would have to be a student somewhere to take advantage of the internship opportunities.
Thanks for weighing in just the same. I appreciate all the support and tips I have received on this platform the last 24 hours. It’s been invaluable. I don’t feel alone in this…
You have a younger child who could be an additional kiddo in college this fall? Would this kid consider getting a two year degree at a community college? Some offer vocational technical types of courses of study. If you could get that kid in a community college for two years, that would solve the issue of having only ONE kid in college. There would be…two.
The tuition at some community colleges can be covered by the Direct Loan…and a part time job.
Agree…this could be helpful…and maybe a help to the younger sibling as well. Kids entering th trades might want to someday have their own business…so some vocational courses related to business starts might be an asset. Some community colleges offer vocational courses of study, and this is well worth checking!
@mom2and Thanks for the link. Our divorce was finalized in WA state and I had to petition in court for college assistance prior to child support ending. Student was adamant that I not address this in court, hedged his bet dad would help. There is no legal responsibility for him to pay. Hoping Amherst will adjust and there is always hope he will come through with the financial support.
Ex owns three homes and could take out a second mortgage, sell one of his multiple vehicles, cash out stock…there are many options for him to choose to assist, but it’s a choice. He has been unemployed, but just had two employment offers and took the one that paid less because it was a shorter commute. There are many ways he could prioritize helping. The college knows dad has the ability to pay. What they don’t fully understand is his pattern of unwillingness to do so.
@jonri Yes, my concern is that if student goes to state school, Amherst won’t recognize the credits at the same rate and if he does go back, he’s looking at 5 years to complete.
I hear what you’re saying, about having it be between my student and dad…my student absolutely knows 100% it’s his problem and it’s between his dad and him, but I’ve compensated for so many years, I can’t walk away here. Any way you slice it, it’s a very hard lesson for my student. I’d mortgage my soul to make it happen if I could find a buyer…
@Sybylla Yes, dad has cooperated with CSS so thus the status quo to maintain his participation moving forward.
I can petition for non-custodial parent’s income not be considered, but Financial Aid office was clear that was a long shot.
Found out today ex got severance when laid off so his “reduced” income from lay-off won’t likely have much impact in reassessment of financial aid in January 2019.
I apologize if this question has already been asked and answered and I missed it. Is your son’s summer 2019 position likely to pay enough that you would be willing to take out loans for the Amherst FA gap and have him pay you back from his 2019 summer earnings?
My niece had a year where there were money problems. They found that by going abroad for that year, it was cheaper than staying at her school (I thought that you paid the same tuition for a study abroad but they say that wasn’t true). She was able to transfer the study abroad credits to her home school and did graduate in 4 years.
I put this out there as it was a bit of a last ditch effort.
I’m confused about something you said. Was the other child who is not in school, suppose to be in school this year but decided to go another direction?
@UVGOT2BKIDDINGME it sounds like it’s time for you to take a step back and let your son deal with it with his father. You’ve done a lot already. I know that’s easier said than done.
As long as you are still struggling to think of options, the heat won’t be on your ex-husband to do anything to solve the problem.
@rosered55 His offer for summer 2019 is generous, but would also have to support himself while in NY for summer/travel and yes, what he has left over would apply towards tuition. I don’t feel I have the earning potential to responsibliy take out the volume of loans I think he will need. I am still paying off my own student loans as I graduated in 2012. With my ex’s income being so high, we will be looking at the same price tag for next year as well. I don’t think I can do it without becoming a statistic…
@deb922 Thanks for this suggestion! Certainly his had not occurred to me. My son had expressed interest in study abroad previously so maybe this could be an alternative. Seems late in the game, but maybe for a semester next year to save money. Thank you!
The study abroad idea won’t work.
https://www.amherst.edu/academiclife/global-learning/study_abroad/new-finances
This is lousy. It hurts me to read about it, particularly for a student who is doing well academically at a very good but demanding school. It is hard enough to pull off four years of great grades, pick a major and potential career, and find good internship or summer job opportunities, without having to deal with this.
It seems to me that the choices are to appeal the financial aid from Amherst, find ways to borrow the money, find more affordable options quickly, or take a year off and try to earn money while looking for more affordable options.
There are very good small universities abroad (or “slightly abroad”, if you think of Canada as not all that foreign – and not all that far from Massachusetts) where the full cost of attendance for an international student is a lot less than $46,000 per year (even in Canadian dollars, which have been available at a bargain price recently). It would be quite close to the in-state price for U.Mass. Is there any chance that Amherst would allow your son to take a semester or year abroad and just be full pay at the “international student” price there rather than paying Amherst their cost of attendance? Let me know if you want names.
Another option would be to transfer to something in-state, or something less expensive elsewhere.
@UVGOT2BKIDDINGME - I’m really sorry you are going through this and my situation with my child and ex shares many similarities with yours, so I can very much relate. I agree about trying to see if you can get your your younger child enrolled in some kind of program that would qualify for increasing your son’s aid. In the meantime, can your son schedule a lunch or dinner with his dad to discuss all of this and see what dad might be willing to do? Maybe if they talk through your son’s college experience thus far, how he is doing academically and his plans for the future, his dad will figure out a way to help him stay at Amherst. Thinking of you and your son.
Could you or your son set up an in person meeting with the director of financial aid? Amherst seems to pride itself on meeting need, minimizing loans. Has your son taken any loans yet at all? Taking out some loans is not unreasonable, as long as they are not too high (maybe, $25-$30,000 range total). I knew Amherst was small but didn’t realize it was only about 500 kids in each class. They will want to maintain their excellent retention and graduation record. Your son should appeal to the school and continue to ask for increased help and highlight the recent changes in employment. Did the dad have any idea the price would go up substantially when your daughter graduated or is this a complete surprise to him? Agree, your son needs to talk with his dad . Sorry your son is so upset about this. Hope he can stay!
Looks like Amherst has approved study abroad programs through API. My D has studied abroad twice through API. Once for a summer, once a semester. The semester program total cost including housing and flights (not including D’s travel all over Europe on her own dime!) was about $12000. The organization itself is excellent. She received great support both times. She was able to take courses in her major and gen ed classes at a European university in the semester program
I hope you are able to find a good solution for your son. Tough situation for him to be stuck in.
I think this is very difficult, looking from the outside where married people have to compromise also over school costs, it seems that asking Amherst to pay for a reluctant wealthy father is not how FA should be spent. If you were still married, the scenario might be exactly the same. Kiddo could broach borrowing the money from dad and have a plan for paying it back.