<p>I created a new thread because the old title didn't fit anymore.</p>
<p>Well the update.
I just finished speaking with a Financial Aid officer and this is what happened:</p>
<p>He told me that while he understands my situation, there is nothing that he can do. I tried to use my higher fin aid award at Mills (which he said he had never heard of) and he said that maybe I should consider going there. He also mentioned several times (and seemed tee'ed off at) the fact that my mother was so reluctant to send her housing contracts, so maybe it was a done deal before I even picked up the phone. </p>
<p>He said that 35,000 dollars is a lot to take out oin loans every year and that "smith won't want me to say this, but maybe the other school is right for you". He also brought up the idea of my biological father being able to contribute (not sure if he realized there was a non-custodial parent waiver in my folder) but at this point I was fighting back tears (which is so unlike me) and didn't have the strength to correct him. By the end of the call I guess he could tell that I was breaking down and ended the conversation by saying "we could talk about third-party loans, but perhaps that's a conversation for another day".</p>
<p>And that was what happened, I sort of got the feeling that Smith doesn't want/care if I go there, which is the opposite feeling that I have with Mills (the college that doesn't exist according to Smith) as they regularly email and call me about my situation.</p>
<p>And that was my morning, how was yours? (sorry, I get sarcastic when I'm down)</p>
<p>Having dealt with the financial aid offices at likeminded 100%-of-need colleges, I can tell you that they would have considered it in virtually exactly the same manner. They have a lot of leeway in how they structure packages up to the EFC, but because they are the recipient of federal funds that are used in financial aid, they are somewhat restricted in what they can do above that - except in merit aid (and Smith doesn't have much). </p>
<p>Truth be told, I think the aid officer was very kind and considerate in telling you not to take out $70k in loans.</p>
<p>I'm sorry that things are not going well. But the problem is not Smith, it's your parents. The non-custodial waiver means that your bio father doesn't have to contribute, it doesn't mean he can't, which is what the FinAid officer is suggesting. You seem to want to blame Smith for the fact that your mother has been uncooperative and that your stepfather couldn't care less. </p>
<p>The only way to change the outcome is to change the EFC...and that is, as it always has been, squarely on the shoulders of your mother and stepfather.</p>
<p>Good luck at Mills. The daughter of a close friend went there for two years and transferred to UC Riverside.</p>
<p>I'm not blaming Smith, I realize I'm just a victim of circumstance. I have just been researching similar instances like mine at Smith and most of the women that I spoke with were able to reach some sort of understanding with Smith, however small or large and I was not fortunate enough to gain anything. My stepfather cares, but I really wouldn't expect him to pay for my education. And I didn't say I was going to Mills. I still have some time to <em>try</em> and make it work. I still love Smith, obviously, or else I would just throw in the towel.</p>
<p>As you know, Mer, Smith and Mills are in different leagues -- which is exactly why Mills wants you and you want Smith. Because you are qualified to attend Smith (or another prestigious school), Mills knows that they must offer more FA to entice you to attend Mills; it levels the playing field. In your case, it does more than make things equal, however, since you and your parents cannot meet your EFC. </p>
<p>Since you are a transfer student, you might want to question whether you are better off at your current school or at Mills, especially since you've said you don't want to attend Mills. I understand that the single gender environment means a lot to you, but you should consider ALL the factors, not just this one.</p>
<p>Please don't see this as a personal slight. Some things in life don't work out the way we expect. Go out and make something of the alternatives so you're able to look back ten years from now and say that Smith's inability to match Mills's aid was the best thing to happen to you.</p>
<p>It's very difficult to research circumstances similar to yours...no matter what others may tell you, you don't see how the full application files compare. What matters is the EFC. The fact that neither your mother nor your stepfather has been cooperative counts for a lot, I'm afraid. The fact that neither you nor your stepfather would expect to have to pay for your college is irrelevant; virtually every school under the sun is going to weigh his assets and income, as Mini says. And as MWFN says, Mills or other lower-ranked schools will give you large merit aid offers because they know they're presumably competing against more highly regarded schools. </p>
<p>For Smith to work for you, there needs to be some changes of attitude, starting with your mother and stepfather. There is absolutely no way why they--or you--should expect them to be treated any differently than the parents & step-parents of other students in your situation.</p>
<p>Mer--very sorry to hear this is what happened, but maybe Mills is a silver lining. They want you and may offer enough to make it work for you. I also want you to know that I understand the subtext here, namely, I know all too well the conditions for which NCP waivers are granted. Mills might be a blessing in disguise for you. They want you and will go the extra distance to get you. Why not accept that? Just the experiences you've described on this board with this new father figure, let alone conditions that led to the waiver, are tough on a young woman's self esteem, and the emotional effect is not always obvious to the person herself until much later. Everything I have seen and heard of Mills is good for young women, and might help you more than you know. Good luck.</p>