<p>My father died last year and so my mom received half a million in life insurance. We had a finaid package at Penn such that our family only had to pay like 8k a year (this was after the insurance money was taken into account as well as the family's situation) with about 2k in Stafford Loans on my end. A financial aid officer said this was a huge "steal" considering my father's assets and income -- we should have actually paid a lot more but he was able to argue a better package for us. </p>
<p>I worked over the summer of 2005 in order to get money, and I now work 15-20 hours a week in work study. My mom refuses to pay because she feels it is too much despite the fact that it's quite the deal, but it is an amount I cannot afford on my own even when working and going to school (I simply don't have the time to earn 8k through work study --- it isn't even allowed, I was granted like 3k in work study and this is outside of the 8k + 2k loans we needed to pay. My family had assets (boat, big house, etc) which hurt these numbers.</p>
<p>Regardless I know our ability to pay is much higher. On taxes my mother lied about her business to make it look like a loss despite the fact that she gained. My father had been earning 100k a year income. She had been using social security checks addressed to my brother and me for herself (I received about 6 checks of 1500 each and my brother still receives checks which mom uses). She's constantly getting drunk with her friend who has now moved in and she is lying about her wherabouts and actions continuously. She doesn't work. I feel as if she has abandoned many aspects of being a parent. Is it illogical of me to ask that she put more money towards my education considering that she did little else for me throughout high school? I studied for everything myself, did everything myself, paid for many school fees myself, even after my father's death. During this stressful period my mom was telling me to figure things out why she went out partying with her friend, using her companion as an "excuse to get away from the pain," despite the fact that the whole family was in "pain." She went to Vegas a few times as well as Mexico -- she will go on these trips but somehow claim she doesn't have the money to help my education.</p>
<p>Instead she wants me to take out extra loans (unsubsidized CitiAssist loans I believe) to pay for the family contribution (she initially agreed to pay 4k for the first semester since I obviously couldn't cover that in time but wants me to pay it back to her later on). Work study money is technically "spending money" and not intended to be put towards tuition, according to a few financial aid officers I spoke to. My mother is constantly railing on me for not taking out these loans or paying the bills on PennInTouch, but I simply cannot pay these amounts and she makes it difficult to cosign on loans that, even if I agreed to, would add a considerable amount of debt being that they are unsubsidized. She uses the argument that "Everyone takes out these loans" when I know it is not true -- many students pay loans such as the Stafford and rarely take on additional personal debt -- am I correct or incorrect on this point?</p>
<p>Regardless I am just upset that my mom has never taken my education seriously. She acts as if all the money Dad earned over the years is somehow her own money even though she never earned it (Mom's income was only in effect for two years and it was about a fifth of Dad's), giving me these lectures about being lazy when it is far from the truth -- I dealt with a <strong>considerable</strong> amount of stress and work while she went off with her friend drinking. She won't stop this continuing pattern of illogical behavior and she won't agree to stop drinking or seek additional help, but in the meantime she is going to bury me in debt that I cannot afford to take on. </p>
<p>I don't know if I am in the wrong or what. I just needed outside opinions so I know what to do. Please tell me what you think and how I should assess this situation.</p>
<p>Side note: Where should I look for places to work over this coming summer? There is no way in hell I am coming back home to all this.</p>
<p>Would becoming independent help?</p>
<p>How do I minimize my payment? Would it be worth taking her to court on charges of tax cheating, taking my social security checks, and neglect (since she's always out buying alcohol and getting drunk while driving with her friend?). She is also consideirng marriage with this guy eventually -- if they get married this will make my aid package very very bad since this guy has money.</p>
<p>I just don't know what to do. I earned about 3k from the summer and I currently earn work study money and my balance is roughly 2.5k right now. I can't afford all these loans and debts. Is it wrong of me to assume that my mom has a responsibility in paying? What should I do or who should I talk to and what should I say?</p>