<p>I am very angry right now and I feel that this is a safe place to vent. Just wondering if I am the only one upset about this situation. My son got into one of our great (and in my opinion very affordable) state universities. We did not expect nor did he get, any financial aid. The mother of one of his friends stated that her son had gotten into both of the two best state schools but was waiting on the financial aid to see. When I told her that neither had much if any merit aid, she replied that she was waiting on need based. I assumed that she didn't understand need based aid since this is her oldest son, but did not mention that. She has now called me back to say that the school that my son chose has given her son "substantial" need based aid and that he would now be going there along with my son. I have known these people for around ten years. In that time, we have bought no new cars and taken no European vacations, but have paid off a pre-paid tuition plan that will cover the four years for our son. They have bought at least two new cars and I can think of at least three European vacations for the entire family of four people. </p>
<p>So are we suckers to have been expecting to take care of our child's education? I just can't believe that they are getting need based aid. </p>
<p>Yes, I am grateful that we can afford to pay for our child, but shouldn't people who can afford things like new cars and expensive vacations pay for college instead of splurging on themselves and expecting other taxpayers to pick up their kid's bill?</p>
<p>I am sure it is a bitter pill to swallow but no one ever knows what someone’s true financial situation is. The trips could have been gifts from a wealthy parent/grand parent, are they could be playing keeping up with whoever; at the expense of extreme credit card debit, no assets and savings. Does it make it right? No. But some people will game the system and all you can do is sit back and pat yourself on the back for sticking to your guns and saving for your child’s education. You can also breath deep in the security that you live within your means, have money to meet your expenses and hopefully can retire at some point.</p>
<p>Another thing, not knowing what school but being sort of knowledgeable about FAFSA, their income whould have been fairly low to qualify for NBA (need based aid) I have no idea what their family size is (4?) but if they qualified for Pell (which can be a line schools draw for NBA vs, no aid or limited aid their income had to have been report really low. Do you think they are lying on their app? For me that has much greater implications.</p>
<p>Without seeing the details of the Financial Aid letter, they could be confusing loans as “need based aid”. Many/most schools list them that way.</p>
<p>Best advice…don’t count other people’s money. You have no idea what their REAL financial situation is. And you are fortunate to be able to finance your own child’s college education.</p>
<p>People say all kinds of things regarding applications, acceptances, scholarships and financial aid that don’t mean a thing. Statements might be true, a stretch, a bit of a white lie, a total whopper, an honest misunderstanding of the facts by the speaker, or misinterpretation of the statement by the listener. None of it matters in the big scheme of things.</p>
<p>I recall a friend telling us that their son had been given “an offer we couldn’t refuse” with a college acceptance. My interpretation of that was that the acceptance came with a hefty scholarship. Years later I learned that what she meant by that was that the acceptance was such a great opportunity for their son that they felt they should let him attend. They paid full price, and were thrilled to do it.</p>
<p>I did not hear what my friend had been telling me.</p>
<p>OP- people often stretch the truth when it comes to college financing. I know kids at Princeton on “Athletic Scholarships” which Princeton doesn’t give; I know kids at our State U with “full funding” which also doesn’t exist; I know kids at a local private U in their “honors program” which hasn’t existed in 20 years. I know kids who have won the local Rotary or Garden Club scholarship which requires an essay and showing up at a luncheon, which pay $1500 which their parents have spun into “incredible recognition of Joey’s achievements” (1500 isn’t nothing but it’s not “incredible” in the context of a 30K per year price tag) etc.</p>
<p>That doesn’t change the reality that some people do engage in illegal means of sheltering income. Many of them get caught eventually- so you can take some solace in that.</p>
<p>In the meantime, kudo’s to your son! And congratulations on his HS graduation.</p>
<p>Not only do I not know, I don’t want to know, and that’s the reason why. If I heard about a situation like that it would make me very angry, so better I not hear about it.</p>
<p>This is based on the assumption that they can (easily) afford those things. They may well be racking up serious debt to lead the luxurious lifestyle that they feel they deserve, even with an income that can’t support it. It happens.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Pell is far from the only line schools draw for NBA. My family of 5 makes $140k a year and I qualified for, and received, about $30,000 in need-based aid from MIT. Admittedly MIT is not a typical school for financial aid, but you certainly don’t need to be in the poorhouse to qualify for aid.</p>
<p>My neighbor across the street lives in a house that her father, who owns a building company built for her. They gave the house to her and her husband, fully paid. She told me so, and as her father is a well known builder in this area, I do believe her. She is one of two children, with a very well to do brother and her parents spend a lot of time with her and her kids and pay for a lot of things. </p>
<p>I have a friend who works for her family business. Her father gave each of his children their houses, fully paid and their first cars. </p>
<p>My SIL’s father pays for almost everything that his one son’s family needs as he can’t find a decent job and his wife makes very little. Two kids are in college and, yes, they get financial aid. At state schools, so they don’t get a whole lot, just some work study and each small grant. But grandpa doesn’t want them to take out loans so he lends them the money. And this family lives in the old family home that was given to them when the parents decided to move into something smaller. They live rich indeed on a small income.</p>
<p>We help out our kids and they are loan free after college. Big advantage as they try to make a living out there. But they have friends whose parents bought them condos, cars, and are supplementing their very expensive NYC lives. Their salaries are just for discretionary spending since the necessities are covered by mom and dad,</p>
<p>Counting other people’s money just makes your eyes green.</p>
<p>Also as Blossom says, take any scholarship/aid talk with a grain of salt. In fact take a big ol’ salt shaker. I’m always hearing about full rides and athletic scholarships. The latter often at schools that I know don’t give them, the same schools that I dealt with when my national level athlete son was on that market, so I know the ropes. People lie.</p>
<p>‘You’ are doing the right thing - even if it’s by being proactively responsible in saving what you can for college and making some personal sacrifices in the process.</p>
<p>‘They’ may well be milking the system for what they can get from it - even if it’s indirectly achieved by them not proactively saving what they can for college and simply spending their money.</p>
<p>OTOH - you might not know as much about their financial situation as you think based on these appearances. </p>
<p>But - I wouldn’t be quick to say you’re wrong in your assessment either. Some people go further - they purposely ‘play the system’ by spending and saving in certain ways to maximize the ‘need based’ aid they might get from the college. There are routinely posts on CC as to how to achieve this.</p>
<p>The downside (or upside depending on perspective) is that in the end people like you are subsidizing people like them.</p>
<p>On another note - does she realize that her telling you about the ‘substantial need based aid’ is about the same thing as telling you they’re fairly broke (in a fafsa sense)? Did she just tell you this as a topic of conversation or was she bragging about it? Personally, I don’t know why people would discuss need-based aid with each other any more than they’d discuss their income and bank account balances with each other (outside of anonymity like on CC for informational purposes).</p>
<p>Once again, this really depends on the school and their generosity with need-based aid. Families making over $150k can get some need-based aid sometimes (particularly with multiple kids in college, few assets, etc.), and they are certainly not broke.</p>
<p>Luisarose, my response was directed to the OP and the declaration that the school in question was a “state” school. I know of no state school that would consider a family of 5 making $140K a year to be qualified for NBA. The response would have been really different if the OP had been talking about a top 10 or 20 private University. That is simply not the case here.</p>
<p>I think I got some small amount of need-based aid from my state school. It certainly wasn’t full-need, but it’s not nothing.</p>
<p>I may just be ignorant here (and I apologize if that’s the case), but I thought that state schools use the FAFSA to determine aid eligibility? My family’s EFC was below the cost of our state school, so we got a little need-based aid, a little merit aid, but not much of either. But I am certainly no expert in FA for any school, let alone public/state schools, so I apologize for anything I am incorrect about. I just thought I’d share my experience :)</p>
<p>Whether it’s getting need based aid because their income is below $150K for a very generous college with lots of money (only a handful of colleges at this level), or their income is below the level needed to get NBA for a relatively inexpensive state school, my point still applies - I don’t see why people would discuss it a lot with acquaintances any more than they’d discuss other aspects of their personal financial situation (again - outside of the context of anonymity).</p>
<p>Getting the NBA isn’t exactly an accomplishment like merit aid is. It’s great that they’re getting it if it’s really needed so they can attend college but it’s nothing to be quite proud of (or ashamed of either - unless one cheated and manipulated or spent down on optional things to get it).</p>
<p>Agreed. It does seem like a strange thing to mention unless they were purposely being rude (ha ha I get to pay less than you) to the extent where they didn’t care if you knew their financial situation, or they were trying to brag. Either way, it’s certainly possible that they were lying.</p>
<p>Regarding need-based aid for state schools, given that we have 50 states, many with multiple college systems and varied levels of support, it is really hard to make any generalization about what state schools offer in the way of aid.</p>
<p>I have to agree with others that you don’t know the specifics. “Substantial” might be $1000 given that it’s a state school and they just don’t have the aid to give. Your definition of “substantial” might be different. That “substantial” part might be all loans too…</p>