<p>I would not determine, right off the bat, that you are not eligible for any merit aid; you might be, depending on the school. That said, even a relatively generous offer from a private school would leave you having to figure out how to pay a tidy sum, as one assumes your family income is such that you’re not going to get gobs of need-based aid. I would urge you to do the math on the likely costs at different schools and then present the information to your parents. It sounds as if they need some education about what the alternatives are and what the realities are (vis-a-vis living on campus or off, for instance). I would also suggest that you determine what is your dream and what less dream-like options would be acceptable to you (i.e., figure out: I could stand this CSU but not this other one …). If at all possible, I would hold out for living on campus, as you seem to want that. And if you’ve been “sheltered,” the new independence (while you are still close enough to home to feel anchored) would probably be good for you.</p>
<p>Actually yes…my uncle whom I’m very close with has been speaking to my more lenient parent about the dorm stuff. He’s very helpful and has actually been a bit persuasive…however, the Parent A I was speaking about before is EXTREMELY EXTREMELY stubborn…no outside opinions that present other viewpoints (on any subject) are ever welcome. This parent is also one of the main reasons why my financial situation is so foggy…very difficult to deal with.</p>
<p>I was thinking of just bringing up the housing thing after I get my acceptances…so as to avoid a huge blowout fight right now that may end up being unnecessary. It’s highly unlikely that I’ll get into the schools that I could commute to (excluding CSU’s which my parents realize are very much near the bottom of my list…lenient parent even commented on how the schools don’t seem very appealing…).</p>
<p>By all means, keep talking with uncle but do NOT have any arguments until all acceptances are in. It is NOT worth having any premature battles. Uncle can help by lauding the reputation of some of the further away schools that may be more likely to accept you and how they are more likely to help you get ahead. Good luck! Do NOT have any fights with your dad at this point. Keep doing as well as you can in all your school work so you will have a solid foundation when you begin college.</p>
<p>Thank you so much HImom!!! You’ve helped me creat a sort of “plan of action” for this whole mess!</p>
<p>Thank you to the others who commented also, you’ve all been great help. And you’ve listened to me whine… :)</p>
<p>*I’m not sure if I can get any merit-based scholarships…my numbers aren’t outstanding. 3.6UW, 4.1 W, 2160 SAT.</p>
<p>I have already been accepted into one CSU.</p>
<p>Sigh…they just told me not to worry a few minutes ago…but still… *</p>
<p>With your stats, there are schools that would give you large merit. Apply to: USD, USF, Redlands, UArizona, ASU, and I’m sure others can name some as well. Texas Tech might work, too. </p>
<p>What is your likely major?</p>
<p>Ask your parents…can you pay $30k per year? If they say “no”, then a UC won’t work unless you can commute. </p>
<p>Frankly, I doubt that they can pay that much, because that would be about $3k per month…and it doesn’t sound like they have close to that much left over each month.</p>
<p>Occidental or Whittier (both privates in CA) also MIGHT have some merit aid. U of Az & ASU both have pretty low costs of attendance (less that UCs) and DO give some merit awards for OOS students.</p>
<p>Few good reasons for living on campus (parents would be happy to hear about):</p>
<ul>
<li><p>there are study groups you may need to participate for group projects or problem sets, often those study groups get together very late at night when everyone is available.</p></li>
<li><p>college schedule is not like high school schedule where you could go from 9-2pm. There may be evening classes, very early morning classes, it would be inconvenient for you if you had to drive back and forth.</p></li>
<li><p>clubs and guest lectures. One great thing about college is often there are famous guest speakers who would come in the evenings, and clubs (like drama and dance) which get together late. When D1 was in a dance club, they sometimes rehearsed after 10pm because that was when they could get a studio and everyone was available.</p></li>
<li><p>meeting with professors and TAs would be easier if you lived on campus.</p></li>
</ul>
<p>Tell you parents that living on campus under semi-supervised environment is a good transition for you to be independent when you graduate from college (no sure if your parents would think that´s such a good thing).</p>
<p>D’s fencing group would practice from around 10 or 11 till midnight or later most nights! She ultimately quit it because it was too late & grueling for her, along with her coursework, but it was the only time they could get the facility & have folks be able to attend. Agree with the above post though. Your uncle could be primed with this information & let it drop from time to time strategically.</p>
<p>I will be sure to bring up these on-campus benefits to my parents. I would hate to miss out on activities aside from academics and end up not having fun and not knowing many people. I don’t think my parents realize that college is about the social aspect as well…they see it more as a “get in, get out” sort of thing…all about the academics. Hopefully I can use this information to persuade them, it may be a bit difficult though considering neither one of them made friends while in college or pursued activities aside from studying…</p>
<p>If you have a relative, such as uncle, who can talk 1st hand about benefits he or his kids are gaining from living on campus, that would be more attractive to your family, I suspect. Also, when we attended orientation, the DEAN of our kids’ college emphasized the importance of study groups for engineering (our S’s major), which was made easier when kids lived near campus. She also emphasized the availability of campus jobs in the major, made more convenient by living on or near campus.</p>
<p>Just planting these ideas strategically can be helpful. Do NOT start any arguments with your folks.</p>
<p>My son had to do a group project for a class and the other three members of his group were all commuters. It was very difficult to find times to meet that were convenient for everyone, and the project–and his grade 
--suffered for it. Imagine how hard it would be to commute and try to coordinate group projects in several classes at the same time!</p>
<p>Re your question about the numbers of Freshman who commute: Nationwide, the single largest group of traditional age college students is comprised of those who commute to their local community college. When those who commute to four-year institutions are added in, all evidence indicates that more traditional age students commute than live on campus. Somewhere in some database more precise figures certainly are available, but I do think it is pretty safe to assume that more than half of the freshman commute.</p>
<p>This may not be the college experience of your dreams, or the one you consider to be optimal. However, if it falls to your lot to commute you certainly won’t be the only person in that situation!</p>
<p>Many busy college students use services like SKYPE, Wiggio, and learning platforms like Blackboard to do groupwork (even when they live on campus!). A commute is a drag …but doesn’t necessarily ruin the college experience. Join a club, an honors program, write for the campus newspaper, get a campus job…there are many ways to stay connected in the college. Heck, there are students who are miserable living in the dorms --small doubles with roommates from hell. </p>
<p>Whatever you choose next year…make the best of it.</p>
<p>I know that we are compiling reasons for living on campus, but I would like to emphasize that commuting does not at all make it impossible to be engaged on campus. I lived more than an hour away from my university in my junior and senior years. I left in the morning for class and came back home after I was done for the day - sometimes that was at 4pm, other days midnight. I used breaks in my schedule to eat or study or go to the gym; which, by the way, is what a lot of students living on campus are doing anyway. </p>
<p>Many residential students leave their room in the morning and don’t come back until they are done for the day. It might be convenient to be able to pick up or drop off stuff half-way through the day, but other than that there’s no need to head back to your bedroom between events on campus. You probably don’t feel the need to go home during study halls or between classes and after-school activities in high school either. Why would that change in college?</p>
<p>And there were actually perks to not living in the dorms. For example, I could go to sleep at a reasonable time (difficult in a noisy dorm) and eat real food from time to time (unlike what the dining halls are serving). On campus housing is overrated. I would certainly not spend $12,000 per year of my own money (so much easier to spend someone else’s ;)) for that privilege. </p>
<p>That all being said, I won’t deny that residential colleges foster a more active social life than commuter schools. And of course the appeal of living at home depends greatly on how pleasant the atmosphere at home is.</p>
<p>“That all being said, I won’t deny that residential colleges foster a more active social life than commuter schools. And of course the appeal of living at home depends greatly on how pleasant the atmosphere at home is.”</p>
<p>Well said. So many people quickly say, “you can just live at home and save money.” that’s nice for many, but there are many who would be miserable staying another year with their parents. Having the chance to break away from an uncomfortable home life ca be a huge part of going to college. It was for me.</p>