Finding a college, deciding on what I would like to study, and how late is too late?

Applying to College
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I forgot about this place, can’t believe its been more than a year since I was here, can’t even remember why I posted last
Now I am an adult (almost 19 now) with a whole other set of issues

I got my high school diploma last year (May 2022) and decided to take a gap year. All my life, I have been homeschooled, and my parents never took it very seriously. I have never taken an ACT or SAT test, my parents didn’t even think about it. Basically, throughout my whole highschool years, I was given the books, and then I was given a notebook with the page numbers written. My whole explanation was “do this page to that page” and then expected to pretty much figure the rest out on my own, as well as help out my little sister, while my parents weren’t even home most of the time. This made my school years very stressful. I have done SAT practice tests since my senior year and I always fail because some of the basic math subjects that are in there are things that I have not even learned. In fact, I was told not even to worry about college until after I graduated, which obviously set me back and left me feeling incredibly overwhelmed the moment I graduated.
I wanted to take it seriously, but instead I was encouraged to just do the bare minimum so I can graduate, and feeling like it must be easier, I blindly agreed. My parents never even really checked my answers, never gave me quizzes or tests. Due to this, I believe I have struggled to reach my full potential. The year I graduated (2022) I had just planned to take a gap year and try to get a job, because I had no idea what I wanted to do anyways and had not been prepared for college. Due to unforeseen circumstances and a busy year, I was unable to get a job last year. Based on the fact that its January and I still don’t have the faintest idea what to study in college, where to go, or even what to do about the college placement tests (is that even possible to do after graduation?) I am likely going to take another gap year, get a steady job asap, attempt to figure things out, and eventually try to go to a college. Will this look bad to colleges?

Also, how do I figure out what I want to do, or what college I want to go to? Will I even make it? At this point I am worried that I will never be good enough. I still have nothing figured out, I don’t know what I want to study and do for the rest of my life, I don’t know why any college would even accept me. I really need some recommendations and advice. I have been told I am intelligent, and I have a decently good GPA, but I’m not even sure what that GPA was even based on. I don’t want to dwell on my rough start, I want to be successful. But I am unsure how to do so when I haven’t even found my passion. Is it too late for me to go to college? Taking a gap year this year means that by the time I do go to college (2024, if I’m lucky) I will be 20 years old. Is it even worth it to go to college? How can I be sure I have found my passion?

On top of this, I have severe social anxiety. So if I do go to a college, I would prefer one that would allow me to live off campus

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This response on your previous thread has lots of good advice.

For your situation, I would definitely recommend, as people on that thread did, that you attend community college and see how that goes. Community colleges will have you do placement testing, and if needed will put you in remedial classes to make up gaps in your learning. Community colleges often have resources for helping you explore a variety of majors/careers, and they have typically strong resources for helping you transfer into four-year schools. Many have articulation agreements with state public universities that will either guarantee admission if you meet certain requirements at the community college, or guarantee that credits to take at the community college will transfer.

Community colleges have relatively more flexible scheduling. You could work full-time and take evening classes, or you could take a day classes, or you could take a combination of in person at all. Community colleges are wonderful for people in situations like yours.

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I just want to add two things.

(1) There is no such thing as too late. My step-sister just graduated from community college at ~40 and will be going on to 4-year college. I know of people even older who have done the same.

(2) Applying to colleges as a homeschool student is a lot of work for a parent who has to act as the high school guidance counselor. From your posts is not clear if that is something your parents would be able/willing to do. Getting into community colleges as a home schooled student is much easier. Exact process might be different from community college to community college, but, again, community colleges want to help you succeed, and they will have counselors who are available to help you with the process. And then, once you are well-established there, they will help you apply to four-year colleges, no help needed from your parents

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Believe it or not, the majority of college students are “non-traditional,” and finish at an older age while working and/or raising a family. Twenty is still young. That said, you might want to consider programs for non-traditional students after a stint at community college, rather than a traditional full-time residential college. Many schools have degree completion programs. You can go full or part-time.

You can always apply test optional and take a math class at a school that offers math for humanities majors.

You don’t mention money. Will your parents pay for community college or will you get aid? If you go at age 23 financial aid is based on your income, not theirs.

A 23-year-old child is considered to be an independent student on the Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA) if he will reach age 24 by December 31 of the academic year .

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You’re 19 years old. You have social anxiety, you’ve been deprived of schooling and the social experience of school. I’m so very sorry that this has happened to you.

If your parents have a car, ask them to help you to get a driver’s license. In many parts of the country, this is a first step towards independence, being able to get to school and work. You need to get a job, ANY job, even if it’s the lowest level employment at a place you can walk or bike to. Having a job will help to start to build the ability to tolerate social interaction that you would have learned naturally, had you attended school, over the past 12 years.

Are you parents willing to help you with community college? You can start at the very beginning with math there - they will have the right classes for you. If your parents don’t have much money, and are willing to file a FAFSA, you’ll be eligible for Pell grants, which will help greatly with community college tuition. For all the reasons outlined beforehand, community college is where you need to start. You’re not ready for a 4 yr college, neither academically nor socially. You need to live at home and start at community college. If your parents are unwilling to do anything to help you, go to the community college fin aid office and state your case. Tell them the truth, that your right to a free education was taken from you, and that you need help. I think that they will help you.

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It’s never too late. My dad went to night school at a local CC when he got out of the Navy. He worked full time and eventually graduated with a bachelor’s degree. I was little but I still remember his graduation. It took 10 years. Grit and determination.

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The above posters have given you great advice, so I want to address two (related) elements that you might not recognize: the self-discipline and time management that formal schooling requires. Neither of these is something that people just have: self-discipline is a muscle that develops over time, and time management is a skill that you can learn.

From your post you have not had much need for either, so most likely these are under-developed. That’s ok! and not too hard to fix, but it is important to recognize that going in. Otherwise, it will catch you off guard, when you realize that you have missed a deadline, or blow a test because you didn’t have time to study and you might start thinking ‘I’m not good enough’, rather than, ‘I need to develop these muscles and skills’.

Think of it like skiing: if you have never been skiing, at the beginning you fall a lot and you can have sore muscles. But over time, as you learn the skills (both on your own and by finding teachers), and you keep doing it so that the muscles you need for skiing get stronger, you get better and one day you realize that the slope that was scary on Day 1 is actually easy for you now, and you are ready to move up to a more challenging slope.

So, start with just one or two classes the first term, so you can learn the ropes. Be realistic: there will be discouraging days, days when you doubt yourself, days when it seems too much. That is true for every single student I have ever known- me and my friends, the Collegekids and their pals, the college kids that I have taught- everybody. But when it happens to you, you will feel as if you are the only one. So, plan for the hard days. Learn to look for, and ask for, help before things go wrong. And when they do go wrong figure out what your ‘I’ve had a bad day’ treat (one of the Collegekids gets ice cream and watches an old episode of Air Crash Investigations- not sure I want to get into the psychology of that, but it cheers her up!). And then get up, dust yourself off and get back in the game.

This worries me a little: everybody has unforeseen circumstances and everybody has a busy year. It’s not our business, and I am not asking you to share what that was about, but unless you were ‘unable’ to get a job last year b/c you had an unofficial job (such as being the primary caretaker for somebody who required full-time care) and not b/c you couldn’t find one despite looking, think about time management and priorities. A healthy 19 year old who can’t find a job in this labor market rings an alarm bell.