Finding community as incoming freshman - XC a good fit?

Colleges and Universities A-Z Vassar College
1

My daughter will be incoming freshman this fall. Id love her to consider running cross country if they’d welcome her. she’s shy and I think being part of a team would be a great way to have a built in community and some stress relief from exercise. She has run all four years of high school XC and track but is not super fast (PR 6:02 in 1600 this spring) and thinks she isnt good enough to run in college. I’ve emailed the coach but haven’t heard back yet. Any runners on this forum who can comment?

If college XC wouldn’t be great fit for her, are there other robust club or intramural activities that could help her maintain the regular exercise she had in high school?

Also, does vassar offer pre-orientation opportunities for students to get together over summer like I’ve heard other schools do? We’ve had so little communication from vassar since she was accepted ED1 it makes me a little anxious… I am just hoping my super brilliant, curious, slightly socially awkward, math and foreign language loving kid finds her people at vassar.

Thanks in advance!

2

https://www.imleagues.com/spa/fitness/9bc3e60eb0b743699ce976f47ba7f5d6/home

https://vsa.vassar.edu/orgs/

I’m sure your daughter will find many ways to be involved and stay fit at Vassar.

2 Likes
3

Paging @jym626 @Catcherinthetoast @elena13

1 Like
4

I totally understand that you are trying to be helpful, but your D, not you, needs to be having this exchange with the coach.

As much as you can, tell her you know she’ll thrive and you trust her to build her life at Vassar and that your concerns come out of your needs, not lack of confidence in her.

This is a tricky part of the parenting process! :heart:

She can look at some recent meet results to see how her times compare, btw…

13 Likes
5

Colleges publish three sets of times for each event in varsity running, Recruit, Walk on, and Tryout. Here are Vassar’s times for women’s Cross country and Track: Vassar Cross Country and Track & Field Recruiting Standards 2023

Vassar has a very welcoming community and I’m sure your daughter will find many opportunities to get involved! We know a student who loved playing on the Vassar Quidditch team, for example. When my daughters left for college, my advice was to go to the club fair and sign up for everything that looks interesting. Sign up for whatever your roommate and hall mates like, too. This has worked out well for them!

2 Likes
6

Hello! Regarding communication: be sure your daughter has set up and is regularly checking her new Vassar email account to be sure she is on-top emails about housing, fall course registration, and orientation. And have her spend time on the website looking at the new student check-list: New Students - First-Year | Vassar College. There is also a full schedule of orientation on their web site: New Students - Orientation | Vassar College. She can reach out to the school to see if there are pre-orientation activities. There may also be a “Class of 2027” instagram or Facebook page she could join in order to connect with other students.

I don’t have a student at Vassar, but in my experience with each of my sons’ schools, there is generally little communication with parents (unless it’s about $$$). The communications are mostly direct to the student with no cc: to parents and the student needs to be taking the lead on checking their emails and doing what they need to do to prepare for fall. I also agree with the previous post that she should be the one reaching out to the coach re: XC. :wink:

Congratulations to your daughter! :star_struck:

6 Likes
7

Congratulations on your daughter (and by extension you) becoming part of the Vassar community. My experience as an alum from the mid 80s who had stayed very active is that Brewers tend to be a very welcoming group so deep breath she will be fine.

In terms of sports in todays world I wouldn’t be qualified to comment but I can provide some history and suggestions.

I played both men’s soccer (1 year) and lacrosse (4 years) while at VC. We had a designated female student trainer/manager who was trained on campus and attended all of our practices and games. She was a former cross country runner and used to join us and often pace us during all of our off season training. She was like a sister to all of us and was as much a member of our team as any individual. Not sure how these roles are selected now but this story wasn’t unique so also an option for XC team.

I also hope you have visited VC and gotten an appreciation for the enormity (in relative terms) of the 1,000 acre campus. Even if she doesn’t join the team I am sure she will find plenty of companions to run the Vassar farm, golf course or sunset loops.

I would suggest she go to any of the accepted student social media sites (if she is interested) and ask for others with a shared interest in running.

Intramurals are a big thing!! She will have plenty of options and degrees of seriousness. My favorite was coed inter tube water polo just to give you a sense of the creativity.

Every student feels a little nervous about going off to college and will be looking for reasons to connect. Be patient on reaching out to the coach again. My suggested approach would be day one on campus your daughter should go seek the coach out in person and express a desire to help and participate. Hard to look a qualified kid in the eye at a school that is all about inclusion and community and say no but it is easy to ignore an email from mom😀

She will become a happy Brewer in no time!!

7 Likes
8

I agree all emails will be going to your daughter’s new Vassar email without cc to parents so make sure she is checking it regularly. Communication will bump up in a couple weeks - esp. once graduation is done and the rest of the classes leave for the summer next week. I don’t think they got housing/roommate selections until July last year. Freshman at Vassar arrive a week prior to others and they do a great job building community during that week - kids are put in groups based on who lives in their hall and there are events on campus and trips off-campus, dinners together, a couple of meetings with their advisor, pre-registration and house games (which builds house unity and loyalty). By the time the other classes arrive the freshman feel pretty comfortable on campus and hopefully have made friends (my quiet introverted daughter had). As far as exercise there are various clubs and ways to get exercise if your daughter chooses not to run - mine is a dancer but also takes long walks in the preserve all year long (we are outdoor walkers and she knows she feels better if are gets outside in nature regularly). Now that classes are over (study week and finals) she told me she’s been working out with her friends - not sure what that means but it implies they all understand the need for exercise! She has one friend who played club soccer and I know there are a variety of athletic opportunities at a variety of levels. Agree with others that your daughter should be the one reaching out and that she wait until closer to going - this is a busy time for everyone. I hope your daughter loves Vassar! Mine certainly has.

3 Likes
9

Thank you all!! This is all great information and kind advice too. :pray: It’s our first time going through all this since she’s our oldest and I have a lot of anxiety for sure - in part because of struggles she’s had in the past. For the most part we have really let her handle everything… i am just trying to get background information for myself about how this all works. Maybe emailing coach was too much. :grimacing: I think I was just hoping to understand it better to be able to support her in figuring it all out. It’s tricky getting the right balance on this launching thing!

Anyway, thanks again! I appreciate all the responses

3 Likes
10

A couple of other things to add. I think the reason that Vassar doesn’t do an orientation in the summer (like larger state schools and colleges with many in state students) is that with such a geographically diverse student body and many international students, it wouldn’t be practical for students to travel that far for orientation and then come back a month or two later. So, bringing freshmen in early before classes start is the best way to get everyone oriented together.

There are a lot of activities in which to get involved. However, keep in mind that if your daughter doesn’t find her people right away, it can still be ok. Many students struggle at first and there is a lot to adjust to. Yes, it causes us parents a great deal of anxiety if our kids are unhappy, but it is also a tremendous learning opportunity and time for growth. Most kids who start out a bit wobbly usually find their way after some time. Best of luck to your daughter for a wonderful four years at Vassar!

5 Likes
11

Hey! Love all the comments and clarifications here, I just wanted to add a little as a current student.

The cross country teams are full of good people, and my friends on both the men and women teams have a lot of fun and feel connected to each other. It seems like a great culture (in my opinion perhaps the best culture of the athletic teams, though that’s just my outside perspective). If she chose to do cross country, I think she’d find a strong community. I havs a friend who joined sophomore year looking for that, and was really happy that he did.

One of my friends is the president of an org called RunVassar. It’s a bunch of people run for fun, with varying levels of seriousness (but all super super friendly). Around 10 of them did a half marathon this spring… some want to do a full marathon in the fall, others will do a half marathon in the fall, others will just participate in a 5k fundraiser they do every fall… and many others will join for a run or two each week to build community and hang out. It’s lots of fun, and might be less commitment than the cross country team. More student-organzied. They do picnics and stuff too. A few days ago they all ran to the water hole and went swimming together. Fun stuff

Some of the people on athletic teams latch onto the teams, and rarely leave that social circle. That’s not everyone, and every team is different… but there are ways that it can also limit other social circles/ open time. Some of my friends have regretted this, and stopped doing athletic teams for this reason. Something for her to think about… though I would also stress to her that she shouldn’t view whatever she decides to do as a “four year commitment.” Things change :slight_smile:

Agree that she should reach out to the coach herself. I’d also encourage her to follow the Instagrams for both the xc team and runvassar, and to just dm them too to talk to current students. The coach should also be able to connect her to students. I get the sense that this is normal and know that the runvassar people would be happy to chat.

I think she’ll start receiving more emails soon. Vassar is still sorting out who exactly will be in the class, I imagine… but stuff will come soon. I also did EDII, and it took a while for all the paperwork and stuff to start coming in through my Vassar email. But it will!

There are many other ways to find community at Vassar though. I appreciated having an entire week for orientation, where you spend a lot of time with your student fellow group (other kids on your hall) and entire house doing activities. Plus, there’s the org (club) fair, and you start finding other communities on campus.

6 Likes
12

Thanks swallowtail this is really helpful!! I really appreciate all this great info. It is encouraging to hear there are so many opportunities to connect in clubs or sports. She is also now considering rugby… we’ll see!

2 Likes
13

The first two weeks of college are very intensely social, with everyone wanting to meet new friends. Don’t worry - she will meet tons of people on her hall, through classes, on line at the dining hall, everyone talks to everyone, trying to find their crowd of friends. Sure, doing a sport or any other type of group activity with like-minded people helps too, but even without clubs or sports or religious groups or anything else, the only way that she wouldn’t meet people is if she were to stay behind the closed door of a single.

3 Likes