finding the "right fit" boarding school

iboo · August 26, 2008, 12:07am

My ds is entering 8th grade. We are hoping to find a boarding school for next year, preferably in the New Engalnd area, will include Conn, R.I. He does not test well but is being tutored for SSAT. He is an excellent athelete. He plays baseball, lacrosse, football and skis. He excels in baseball, good in lacrosse and has been skiing for 10 years. Coaches all love him. Great team player He is an A, B and sometime C student. Teachers don't always love him. He can challange authority. He needs structure. When he knows what is expected he falls right in line. We would like to find a school with smaller class sizes, more hands on rather than being lectured. He is bright and a quick learner but looks for the easy route. He will need to have teachers accessible After reading many threads, I can see that this community is very well versed...
We are looking at Tabor, Lawrence Academy, Cushing Academy, Northfield Mount Herman, St Marks. Advice is welcomed. I will assume that by his baseline SSAT Score that he will be in the 60 to 75 percentile. Any help would be grateful.

Thanks
IBOO

Burb_Parent · August 26, 2008, 12:23am

Take a look at Holderness as well, especially if skiing is important to him.

iboo · August 26, 2008, 12:30am

I will look at it. Not sure about quality of NH schools and location feels too small. am I wrong?

Burb_Parent · August 26, 2008, 12:41am

I just know someone whose son sounds like yours, and he is thriving at Holderness. It's also a great place for serious skiers. I also know another family considering it because of skiing. That's why I suggested it.
We did not visit it. In fact, we did not visit any of the schools on your list.

goaliedad · August 26, 2008, 9:55am

When you talk about "quality" of schools, I would do a double think on what qualities you want to see in your son's school. The prestigous name on the door does not necessarily translate into good outcomes when your are looking for more social development. Yes, the name brand schools will help build character in kids, but their mission is not specifically to work with the kid who challenges authority, although to some degree you will get that at any good boarding school.

It really depends upon your child and what he needs. No matter where you choose to send him, take the time and spend a day at the school (and not at a dog and pony event) observing it in action (hopefully with him shadowing a student). Some kids need the highly structured, coat and tie environment to break the will. Others dig in deeper when challenged on the smaller things and would do better in an environment where they are given more freedom in certain areas (dress code) and the focus is put on the personal relationships to develop respect for authority. Some kids need carrots to go with the stick. Others just keep asking for more carrots until the stick comes out.

So many things to consider.

And yes, there are some great schools in New Hampshire that do a fine job of preparing kids for great schools. And small, for a kid who is dealing with authority issues gives him fewer places to hide. Yes, it is a bit further to travel when you do visit, but really, most boarding parents at schools don't visit frequently and the kids integrate into their social networks quite well as a result. I do wish I could visit occasionally (I live 1000+ miles from her school), but she is so busy that actually doesn't miss me as much as I miss her.

It is too easy to narrow the search before you know what you need. You have a good list of schools that may fit your needs. You may find though that it doesn't click on any of your inital visits. If so, do broaden your geographic criteria.

keylyme · August 26, 2008, 10:19am

When you say "location feels too small", are you referring to the population of the surrounding area? If you are, be aware that NMH and Cushing are also fairly rural.

kayyjay · August 26, 2008, 10:31am

I know somebody who isn't very smart, but extremely athletic that goes to Taft, so you might want to look into that school.

keylyme · August 26, 2008, 11:01am

Good lord, Kayjay, you might want to re-word that. Read it and see how you would like that reply directed toward you/your child.

erkybk · August 26, 2008, 9:00pm

go to

Compare</a> Boarding Schools - Boarding School Review

and pick the schools you are interested in and compare!

laxtaxi · August 26, 2008, 9:05pm

keylyme, that is very funny. And correct! I am sure Kayyjay didn't mean it quite that way...

wickedcrazy · August 26, 2008, 9:26pm

There is a great school with a lot of support-- St Andrews. It isn't in New England, it is in Delaware, but it is a wonderful small community with great structure and a really nice environment. Holderness would also be a top choice.

warriorboy648 · August 27, 2008, 7:41pm

are you looking for a school where your son will wear a suit/tie? Does it need to be coed or can it be all guys? I have a son that is also going into 8th grade. He needs structure for different reasons. (He will do a year fo ninth grade and then a repeat year)

Two of the schools that we found had a lot of structure were Trinity Pawling and avon Old Farms. I have never been to T-P but Linda S and Baseball mom have. They are all guy schools and you need to wear a suit and tie. Westminster is highly structured and coed. It is getting very difficult to get into. We also know soneone whose son is at the Gunnery School and they are thrilled.

You might want to make a general list of what you are looking for and then go from there. Most BS have some degree of structure.

KatMT · August 27, 2008, 10:15pm

I am a 1990 Holderness graduate who also taught there from 1998 - 2000.

The surrounding community is not huge, but Plymouth, NH is a college town and many cultural events come through the Performing Arts Center at the college.

I think that the students manage to entertain themselves when not in class -- the school has many planned weekend activities. I was a day student, which is a bit different, but often stayed on campus for weekend activities.

Holderness is a great school for small classes, individual attention, athletics -- I may be one of the only graduates who is not an athlete :) (slight exaggeration)... I also may be one of the only people from NH who does not ski, so I am not the "typical" Holderness graduate. I was more involved in music and theatre while there (although all students play some competitive sports). I believe that Holderness was a highly positive influence on my life. I now teach college, and often think of Holderness as the place where I "learned" how to be a student, and ultimately a teacher.

If your son is an athlete who is looking for a small school with highly competitive athletics, Holderness is certainly worth a look!

If you have any questions feel free to PM me.

iboo · August 30, 2008, 6:50pm

thank you all for responded to my question. Even Kayjay, no offense taken. My son is bright, not motivated except by girls and sports. I am hoping to find a school that has small classes and is more hands on, hopefully to spark his passionate side. Goaliedad, I think that shirt and tie would be good for him but he would rebel and not want to go to the school because of it. He won't even look at an all boy school. I need to have him want to go to the school otherwise it will impossible. He is oppositional and defiant. Which his strong personality will help him in life if directed properly or hurt him if not. He never liked to read so he doesn't. Which has hurt his verbal, no surprise. His math skills are good. He is a fast learner again if he is motivated. That is why he needs a school where he won't fall through the cracks. We live in a town that has an excellent school. Problem is that it is HUGE and that if you don't have your niche and self motivated you are in trouble. The school only teaches to the very motivated hands folded types or the children with IEP plans. He is neither. He always feels the need to be cool so I he would never join a club with the fear of being with "nerds". He has only hurt himself by being cool athlete. "killing me" So finding the school that can motivate him, that he loves, Knows the rules right up front so that he can't push the boundries with lots of sports and opportunities to try new things because everyone has to is my hope.. Here is my latest list: Cushing, Tabor, St Marks, northfield mount herman, Willston-North Hampton, Holderness Brooks, St Lawrence... Question: are there others that would be better suited for him? Any that won't challange him that are on the list. As I said He is bright, he doesn't apply himself. When studying for his Bar Mitzvah. He took on an extremely long piece. He worked extremely hard. Studies up to the night before, just to be sure. I never was involved, never heard him. It was all him. He was amazing. No fear, and did an amazing job. Not saying it because he is my son, I saw many children have their Bar and Bat Mitzvah that did not have the poise, took the smallest portion and did not deliver. So I do BELIEVE this child has it within him. It just needs to be pulled out.
I appreciate your posts and need your sincere advice. Looks forward to hearing from you all.
IBOO

erkybk · August 30, 2008, 10:25pm

The ranking was determined based on SAT score, endowment/student, number of AP classes, number of Sports club, number of Extracurricular activities, boarding students ratio, students to teachers ratio, percentage of the advanced degree holding faculties, students per class, and its history(foundation year)

<ol>
<li>Phillips Exeter Academy, NH</li>
</ol>

US News Top 13, 10 Schools Admission Organization

<ol>
<li>Phillips Academy, MA</li>
</ol>

US News Top 13, 10 Schools Admission Organization

<ol>
<li>Groton School, MA</li>
</ol>

US News Top 13

<ol>
<li>The Hotchkiss School, CT</li>
</ol>

US News Top 13, 10 Schools Admission Organization

<ol>
<li>Deerfield Academy, MA</li>
</ol>

US News Top 13, 10 Schools Admission Organization

<ol>
<li>St. Paul’s School, NH</li>
</ol>

US News Top 13, 10 Schools Admission Organization

<ol>
<li>The Lawrenceville School, NJ</li>
</ol>

US News Top 13, 10 Schools Admission Organization

<ol>
<li>The Taft School, CT</li>
</ol>

US News Top 13, 10 Schools Admission Organization

<ol>
<li>Choate Rosemary Hall, CT</li>
</ol>

US News Top 13, 10 Schools Admission Organization

<ol>
<li>Milton Academy, MA</li>
<li>St. Andrew’s School, DE</li>
</ol>

US News Top 13

<ol>
<li>St. Mark’s School, MA</li>
<li>Mercersburg Academy, PA</li>
<li>Episcopal High School, VA</li>
<li>The Thacher School. CA</li>
</ol>

US News Top 13

<ol>
<li>Middlesex School. MA</li>
<li>St. George’s School, RI</li>
<li>Cate School, CA</li>
</ol>

US News Top 13

<ol>
<li>Woodberry Forest School, VA</li>
</ol>

Boys Only, US News Best Boys School

<ol>
<li>Georgetown Preparatory School, MD</li>
</ol>

Boys Only

<ol>
<li>Peddie School, NJ</li>
<li>Western Reserve Academy, OH</li>
</ol>

US News Top 13

<ol>
<li>Concord Academy, MA</li>
<li>Miss Porter’s School, CT</li>
</ol>

Girls Only, US News Best Girls School

<ol>
<li>The Hill School, PA</li>
</ol>

10 Schools Admission Organization

<ol>
<li>Emma Willard School, NY</li>
</ol>

Girls only

<ol>
<li>The Loomis Chaffee School, CT</li>
</ol>

10 Schools Admission Organization

<ol>
<li>Northfield Mount Hermon School, MA</li>
<li>Westminster School, CT</li>
<li>The Governor’s Academy, MA</li>
<li>Kent School, CT</li>
<li>Westover School, CT</li>
</ol>

Girls Only

<ol>
<li>Blair Academy, NJ</li>
<li>Lake Forest Academy, IL</li>
<li>Cranbrook School, MI</li>
<li>Asheville School, NC</li>
<li>The Madeira School, VA</li>
</ol>

Girls only

<ol>
<li>Brooks School, MA</li>
<li>Pomfret School, CT</li>
<li>Indian Springs School, AL</li>
<li>Fountain Valley School of Colorado, CO</li>
<li>Tabor Academy, MA</li>
<li>Santa Catalina School, CA</li>
</ol>

Girls only

<ol>
<li>Culver Academy, IN</li>
</ol>

Military Type

<ol>
<li>The Webb Schools. CA</li>
<li>Westtown School, PA</li>
<li>The Williston Northampton School, MA</li>
<li>Stevenson School, CA</li>
<li>Wyoming Seminary, PA</li>
<li>The Masters School, NY</li>
</ol>

51-60 (alphabetic order)

Avon Old Farms School, CT, Boys only

The Canterbury School, CT

Chatham Hall, VA, Girls only

Dana Hall School, MA, Girls only

McCallie School, TN, Boys only

Rabun Gap-Nacoochee School, GA

Saint James School, MD

Saint Mary’s School, NC, Girls only

St. Stephen’s Episcopal School, TX

Suffield Academy, CT

artsmart · August 30, 2008, 10:32pm

you said u wanted small classes, so i don't understand about how it feels too small. nh has very good schools, especially boarding schools like exeter and sps. tilton academy (day school) is good. that might be in mass. is holderness in nh? i've heard its a good school.

erkybk · August 31, 2008, 4:17pm

check it out at

Holderness</a> School - Boarding School Profile

Linda_S · September 5, 2008, 9:50am

I know your son said no to an all-boys school, but you should at least try to have him visit one. OR, get the Trinity-Pawling view book. It does a fantastic job of explaining - to the boys - the benefits of all all-boys education. He sounds like the perfect candidate. 
We liked both Avon Old Farms and T-P but chose AOF due to geography mostly. They both are structured, have small calsses (12 average) and really "know" boys.

We didn't visit Holderness but have some good things about it as well and their skiing is terrific.

We did visit Cushing and while it may be somehwat rural, it is fairly close to Boston and of the small schools we visited, this one felt bigger for some reason.

hsmomstef · September 5, 2008, 10:34am

I don't know about the other schools, but I would say that NMH is a definite fit. Lots of sports -- so he would fit in there and enjoy it, solid academics -- the block schedule they have is something your son would probably enjoy. The kids only take 3 classes at a time, so they can really focus in. Small classes, students leaders, dorm heads, advisors and a learning skills department would make sure he doesn't fall through the cracks.

erkybk · September 5, 2008, 12:14pm

I posted this at another thread
here is another ranking:

The ranking was determined based on SAT score, endowment/student, number of AP classes, number of Sports club, number of Extracurricular activities, boarding students ratio, students to teachers ratio, percentage of the advanced degree holding faculties, students per class, and its history(foundation year)

<ol>
<li>Phillips Exeter Academy, NH</li>
</ol>

US News Top 13, 10 Schools Admission Organization

<ol>
<li>Phillips Academy, MA</li>
</ol>

US News Top 13, 10 Schools Admission Organization

<ol>
<li>Groton School, MA</li>
</ol>

US News Top 13

<ol>
<li>The Hotchkiss School, CT</li>
</ol>

US News Top 13, 10 Schools Admission Organization

<ol>
<li>Deerfield Academy, MA</li>
</ol>

US News Top 13, 10 Schools Admission Organization

<ol>
<li>St. Paul’s School, NH</li>
</ol>

US News Top 13, 10 Schools Admission Organization

<ol>
<li>The Lawrenceville School, NJ</li>
</ol>

US News Top 13, 10 Schools Admission Organization

<ol>
<li>The Taft School, CT</li>
</ol>

US News Top 13, 10 Schools Admission Organization

<ol>
<li>Choate Rosemary Hall, CT</li>
</ol>

US News Top 13, 10 Schools Admission Organization

<ol>
<li>Milton Academy, MA</li>
<li>St. Andrew’s School, DE</li>
</ol>

US News Top 13

<ol>
<li>St. Mark’s School, MA</li>
<li>Mercersburg Academy, PA</li>
<li>Episcopal High School, VA</li>
<li>The Thacher School. CA</li>
</ol>

US News Top 13

<ol>
<li>Middlesex School. MA</li>
<li>St. George’s School, RI</li>
<li>Cate School, CA</li>
</ol>

US News Top 13

<ol>
<li>Woodberry Forest School, VA</li>
</ol>

Boys Only, US News Best Boys School

<ol>
<li>Georgetown Preparatory School, MD</li>
</ol>

Boys Only

<ol>
<li>Peddie School, NJ</li>
<li>Western Reserve Academy, OH</li>
</ol>

US News Top 13

<ol>
<li>Concord Academy, MA</li>
<li>Miss Porter’s School, CT</li>
</ol>

Girls Only, US News Best Girls School

<ol>
<li>The Hill School, PA</li>
</ol>

10 Schools Admission Organization

<ol>
<li>Emma Willard School, NY</li>
</ol>

Girls only

<ol>
<li>The Loomis Chaffee School, CT</li>
</ol>

10 Schools Admission Organization

<ol>
<li>Northfield Mount Hermon School, MA</li>
<li>Westminster School, CT</li>
<li>The Governor’s Academy, MA</li>
<li>Kent School, CT</li>
<li>Westover School, CT</li>
</ol>

Girls Only

<ol>
<li>Blair Academy, NJ</li>
<li>Lake Forest Academy, IL</li>
<li>Cranbrook School, MI</li>
<li>Asheville School, NC</li>
<li>The Madeira School, VA</li>
</ol>

Girls only

<ol>
<li>Brooks School, MA</li>
<li>Pomfret School, CT</li>
<li>Indian Springs School, AL</li>
<li>Fountain Valley School of Colorado, CO</li>
<li>Tabor Academy, MA</li>
<li>Santa Catalina School, CA</li>
</ol>

Girls only

<ol>
<li>Culver Academy, IN</li>
</ol>

Military Type

<ol>
<li>The Webb Schools. CA</li>
<li>Westtown School, PA</li>
<li>The Williston Northampton School, MA</li>
<li>Stevenson School, CA</li>
<li>Wyoming Seminary, PA</li>
<li>The Masters School, NY</li>
</ol>

51-60 (alphabetic order)

Avon Old Farms School, CT, Boys only

The Canterbury School, CT

Chatham Hall, VA, Girls only

Dana Hall School, MA, Girls only

McCallie School, TN, Boys only

Rabun Gap-Nacoochee School, GA

Saint James School, MD

Saint Mary’s School, NC, Girls only

St. Stephen’s Episcopal School, TX

Suffield Academy, CT

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