<p>I used to have friends and not care what people thought about me. I was happy. But when I entered high school, I got depressed. I got shy, wasn't as outgoing as I liked to be, I get anxious and nervous very easily, I worry too much about what people think of me, I always think I'm being judged, and I have a low self esteem and am self-conscious.
Today was the first day of community college, and I realized that a lot of people already had friends, and even made their schedules the same so they could all be in the same class. I know I got advice from people on here that said that most people just go to their classes and leave, but at my community college, people stand around and talk, they make their schedules the same, and I feel uncomfortable because I only made one friend today. I get intimitated when I see girls that already have friends. I just haven't been happy since middle school, and I wonder if it's always gonna be like this now. I think I may have a social phobia.
What can I do to make my college experience more pleasant for me? Do I need help? I want to just worry about myself, and not other people, but it's hard.
I do have friends, they just aren't in any of my classes. </p>
<p>The good thing is, I only have a monday wednesday friday schedule, and I'm done in december.</p>
<p>P.S. I should be a senior in high school, but since I don't like high school I'm going to community college to get both high school and college credits.</p>
<p>Know that:
“Socially awkward” is all in your head and a label you put on yourself.
It ceases to exist when you stop believing in that self-concept and fueling it.</p>
<p>Ooo, this sounds kinda like a post that I just posted.
Collegeboss, I do agree with what you are saying and that labeling is just enabling the behavior. However, I think it’s really hard to be able to change. It’s one thing to listen to advice but another to follow it.</p>
<p>college boss stop insulting Cheshire Cat’s intelligence. If she says she is socially awkward, it’s probably because she has deduced she is from the way people treat her.</p>
<p>Hi Cheshire Cat, You are doing such a great thing by seeking some advice to make your college experience more enjoyable. It sounds like you may indeed be socially phobic and have had depression. Is it possible for you to see a cognitive therapist? These are psychologists who are specially trained to help you learn to modify thinking that is distorted or dysfunctional. Some books that can help you learn more about cognitive therapy are the Feeling Good Handbook by David Burns (with an excellent chapter on Social Anxiety) and several books by Susan Roane on how to interact with others better. If money is a concern, sometimes there is low fee therapy at local universities. It is even possible that your community college has a counseling center. You should know that social phobia (and depression) are absolutely treatable. Working on these issues is as important for you as your academic work. Good luck!!</p>
<p>This part sounds like a couple of the symptoms of avoidant personality disorder and borderline personality disorder.
You might want to research both and see if any of them sound familiar to what you experience and maybe consult a psychologist.</p>
<p>Actually, the highlighted section above does NOT sound like borderline personality disorder. I am just stressing that because that is a pretty severe diagnosis which includes many additional symptoms not mentioned by Chesire Cat. </p>
<p>Avoidant personality disorder would be characterized by being extremely avoidant of many things so in a way it can be on a continuum with social anxiety. Again, before using the term “personality disorder” many more symptoms are needed.</p>
<p>There is no reason why you should have to continue to live each and every day in a cloud full of social anxiety. Make an appointment with a counselor. I know others on this site will condemn me for saying this, but there are medications that do a wonderful job at controlling the panic some people feel from social anxiety. Consider talking with a mental health professional about your social anxiety. The toughest part is making that first call for the appointment. Be strong and make that call. Social anxiety is common and treatable.</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Everyone gets a little nervous meeting new people. It’s no big deal.</p></li>
<li><p>You are now in a new play starring you as the lead role. Pretend you are an outgoing person who likes to socialize and meet new people. You don’t fidn it strange or awkward to strike up conversations with new people, get phone numbers, invite people out, etc.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>EDIT: The people above who I’ll strongly bet are not even college juniors yet let alone grad students in psychology let alone actually PSYCHOLOGISTS have NO IDEA what they are talking about, and the fact that they would even suggest the personality disorders they did is absolutely ridiculous. Borderline personality disorder? Are you kidding me? The OP is nervous about making friends - hell, EVERYONE IS AT THE START OF COLLEGE.</p>
<p>To the OP: 95% of advice given is more for the sake of the advice giver than the advice receiver. That includes even this post I’m sure. Remember that when sifting through this bs here.</p>
<p>Medications can definitely help social anxiety. There are also sometimes self-help groups in certain areas, too, but if you can make an appointment with someone who has experience in social anxiety that may be the best bet. If you look on the website [Academy</a> of Cognitive Therapy - - Home](<a href=“http://www.academyofct.org%5DAcademy”>http://www.academyofct.org) you will find a list of cognitive therapists across the country.</p>
<p>Social phobia can be pretty intense. My Psych teacher had two students who had it and both absolutely refused to give presentations, for example. It seems pretty debilitating so you may not actually have social phobia as it is diagnosed. That said, I’m not a psychologist and if you sincerely are feeling depressed/anxious then perhaps a visit is in order. It’s nothing to be ashamed of and if it helps you, then great! While some may feel it is unnecessary I think if it has a chance of helping you then there’s nothing wrong in taking it.</p>
<p>Otherwise I think the best advice is that college is the best time to re-envision yourself. You’re not awkward, in fact you’re super confident (just act it, eventually you will be it :)), you love talking to people, they don’t think you’re weird or stupid or anything. Go and get 'em, you social butterfly you!</p>
<p>You know what’s so great about college? It’s your chance to start over. You get to have a new life and a new chance to be whoever you want. These are completely different people in a completely different place. Of course it’s going to be weird at first- it is for a lot of people. It’s great that you’ve already made a friend just on your first day!!</p>
<p>See what clubs and groups your school has to offer. If there’s any kind of practicum class you can do for your major that might be a good way to make friends too. I found out the great thing about college is that a lot of people share your same interest and goals. This was especially true in classes that have to do with my major. </p>
<p>Something else you can try is just talking to people. Talk to the people waiting for class to start in the hallway, and talk to the people who sit around you. See if you can take some kind of physical education class like tennis or something like that that lets you be around people and work as a team. </p>
<p>You’re clearly winding yourself up by thinking about it so much. Figure out how you can alleviate stressors in your life. Making threads about it is clearly not working. Also, learn how to enjoy being by yourself. Friends should not make or break your happiness.</p>