<p>We moved her in Friday, spent the weekend in town (and I resisted taking my sleeping bag to her dorm lol) and after the medallion/convocation ceremony on Sunday, hit the road and got home last night.</p>
<p>Now what? I know it's a "new phase" for me and all that stuff and I have a list of projects...but what did you guys do, or are you guys doing, these first few days of quiet and no dirty dishes magically appearing in the sink?</p>
<p>sleep for like three days, watch a lot of bad TV, get a massage etc., then onward to all the new things you have planned!</p>
<p>Hubby and I DID get working on projects when our only child (daughter) started her Freshman year (2 years ago). We needed something to occupy us in the evenings. It was VERY hard to learn to live without her. The kitchen table seemed so empty, etc. We also started going to the gym together, which was fun. It will get better.</p>
<p>I spent the first three days in his room. I sat in his room, played games on his computer, and then started cleaning up the detritus of 4 years of HS. 
Give yourself some time.</p>
<p>It’s ok to mourn for awhile. It’s hard, but it does get easier. I consoled myself with the thought that this is the natural order of things and looked forward to emails and phone calls. A new “normal” will begin to emerge.</p>
<p>It gets better, just like other kinds of grief. Hang in there and be kind to yourself.</p>
<p>I am now entering my second year of the empty nest. All those things I had planned to do when son finally went away. I did sleep in way too much, and I did travel some, but I mostly got caught up with work and other family members’ obligations, not just my mother, but also, my sister insisting on weekend get togethers. My husband also demanded a lot of my time, as he had been playing second fiddle for the last 18 years.</p>
<p>Now, as I enter my second year, I realize in just three short years, son may be “back on the couch”, and I had better start doing some “me” stuff. At my doctor’s urging, I started swimming again. I am much older and heavier, so I’m spending four times as long to get any decent workout. </p>
<p>I’ve also gotten somewhat involved in church, volunteering to “sub” for the older parishioners who do much of the duties over there, but need time off to care for their new grandbabies. </p>
<p>My new thing is doing Freecycle. I’ve “adopted” a young couple, newly married, just starting their teaching careers and furnishing their new home. I have tons of left over school supplies and books and excess furniture that they are happy to have. In years past, I’ve donated things to a local charity store, only to find it go right in the dumpster. I feel so much better knowing that my things that I saved, took care of, for all these years are now going to a good home.</p>
<p>Two in college, one starting high school. My list of things to do includes:</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Deeeeep clean their rooms. Box up anything that you remotely think they might want someday. Did S2’s room last week. I ended up with 4 bags of garbage and 7 bags to give to a charity… and the room wasn’t really all that bad to start with.</p></li>
<li><p>Transfer all the old family videos from VHS and Super 8 tape to DVD. There are machines available that will do this. Not too expensive, but ours works in “real time”, so a one hour VHS tape takes an hour to transfer.</p></li>
<li><p>Buy a scanner to transfer old photos to a portable hard drive. We have 30+ albums, but about half of the photos could really be disposed of…blurry photo of back of some preschooler’s head … and nobody can remember who the kid is… I figure we can safely dispose of these.</p></li>
<li><p>Take the “best of the best” now digitalized photos and have hard cover books made (Snapfish, Costco, etc. offer these services. </p></li>
<li><p>Chances of actually getting any of this, other than the deep cleaning, done are minimal, but its nice to set goals.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>This is great stuff. Keep it coming.</p>
<p>" Chances of actually getting any of this, other than the deep cleaning, done are minimal, but its nice to set goals. "</p>
<p>bwaahahaha!!!</p>
<p>Well, I’m slow to go through major transitions. My S is a sophomore this year and I’m still not reconciled with my new life, but it’s better. He decided to stay on campus for the summer, working for the school, we saw him for a week in July. All I can say is that the grief will run it’s natural course. I did decide that exercise would help my state of mind, so I joined a gym. I’ve lost 27 lbs and feel pretty darn good physically, now my mind is clear enough to start thinking up new challenges to tackle. </p>
<p>Just remember, you’re not the only one. The occasional get-together with the moms of his close high school friends has been a life saver!</p>
<p>First two days after we dropped our S off, I cleaned S’s room and washed his bedding stuff.</p>
<p>Well, I cleaned a bathroom. Haven’t done that in years as it’s been the kids’ job. Now, I guess one’s mine every week (d2 sill has the other one). Played with the gerbils as they are now my responsibility, too. Then, I guess, just did the usual. I have a job. I have some volunteer gigs. I have stuff I can do at church. </p>
<p>Oh, but I’ve decided that, for at least the next month, I’m going to make/eat all the foods d1 didn’t like of couldn’t eat because of her stomach — pizza from my favorite local place and bacon, lots of bacon!</p>
<p>bopambo - congrats on the weight loss!</p>
<p>We just launched S a week ago and although I intend to deeeeep clean his room, I think I’ll save that for another weekend.</p>
<p>All the moms of his closest friends are planning an evening together after the last one leaves this week.</p>
<p>This weekend, H and I had to remember to turn off all the lights since we were the last ones up.</p>
<p>I feel your pain. I remember dropping my daughter off to school thinking that she will not longer be living at my house, that she would just be stopping by on breaks. I remember my sisters calling because they were worried about how I was doing. The first couple of weeks I could not say that my daughter was away at school, that she was simply with those people.</p>
<p>Time passes, you come to the realization that you have been preparing your child(ren) for this moment from the moment they were first placed in your arms. You have given them roots, now it is time to let them test their wings.</p>
<p>IF you have the time, it would be a great time to pay it forward and help another less fortunate child get his/her wings.</p>
<p>big {{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}} to you.</p>
<p>We’re moving our freshman son 2 hours away on Wednesday. After the initial shock wears off (I hope after a couple of days), I plan to dive back into running. Fall in Michigan is perfect for running outdoors, plus it just clears my head and gets me centered. Plus, it will get me away from the cell phone and laptop, wondering why my son isn’t texting or skyping me! ;)</p>
<p>Please keep the ideas coming. I knew this would be hard but not this hard. I have survived the first weekend and am feeling much better. My D1 said she is bonding with the other dance majors, like they have known each other for years and this really helped me feel so much better. She is kind of shy so I was concerned. But once this initial stuff dies down I have no idea what to do with all my time. I didn’t realize that being a dancemom, and no, not at all like the crazy ones on the tv show, took up so much of my time with getting costumes ready, going to watch classes, etc… I don’t know what to do at all. I scrapbook some but really need something else. I like to cook but don’t want to add anymore weight. I am planning on making things she hates like fish and shrimp but again, I need something more long-term.</p>
<p>I would have lost my bloody mind if it wasn’t for the fact I have eight year twins still at home. I keep telling my husband he better be glad the twins came along or he would have some serious problems dealing with me. It has been hard the last couple of days. Making dinner and having one less plate to fix is sad for some reason.</p>
<p>Maybe you want to start a new career or go back to school or start a business? Is there a hobby you always wanted to pursue but never had the time to do? </p>
<p>Perhaps our OP can lend her services to a local dance company? </p>
<p>I love the idea of digitizing all the old photos and videos. I have started this task, but it is monumental!</p>
<p>@lammb66: I met a Mom who has been a host family for international HS students since her eldest went to college. She said she really enjoyed the experience and helped her a lot.</p>
<p>As a dad, who just dropped off a son with whom I have a lot of common interests, I definitely have had some teary eyes lately. Happy to know he is doing well (as he IS keeping in touch), but sad he is not around.</p>
<p>The trick for me is to give him enough room to grow, while still letting him know we are here for him. What I have read, though, is that we need to try very hard to not let them know we are sad. They don’t need the guilt.</p>