First job, do you expect your S/D to tell you salalry?

<p>Yes , I knew with son #2, who tells me most things . Son #3 graduates this year . I expect he will tell me when he stops going to school and has a job .He is going into a PhD program in Sept .Son #1 is self supporting and has never told us anything !</p>

<p>I never told my folks & they never asked. Our S discussed it with H, including the figures he was offered. He’s happy at this job & feels he is getting paid fairly.</p>

<p>I did not tell MY parents my first salary out of school because that’s not what we (or anyone else I knew) did back then. But I will say my dad is very good at financial teaching (and planning) and has been invaluable over upteem years.
My D seeks my H’s advice now and is very open. But that has more to do with trust than anything else.</p>

<p>Did we “expect” our kids to tell us? NO…but they did. Actually we helped DS do his taxes for two years, and we actually are in charge of DD’s taxes. </p>

<p>The kids found out our earnings when we all did the FAFSA/Profiles.</p>

<p>My parents did not know my earnings when I first got out of college, but they did in later years.</p>

<p>I don’t think most of us expect our kids to tell us anything, and that includes their earnings or personal relationships. The fact that we are on CC helping our kids with their college application process, it is not surprising that we are involved with our kids, and we wouldn’t continue to be involved if our kids didn’t want us to (I am frankly very busy). It is not surprising that they would want to share their “triumphant” (which I think getting the first job would be) with us. </p>

<p>When D1 got her first offer, first raise, first bonus, we were the first people she thought of calling. No expectations, but we were thrilled, and she knew that.</p>

<p>Yes–we’ve always talked openly about money, so S volunteered the info. I didn’t need to ask. (He probably wouldn’t want me to tell any other relatives how little he’s making!) Just glad he has a job + insurance.</p>

<p>While S1 told us what he will be making, that info will not be passed along to grandparents or other family members (and he will never share it, either). It is a different universe in terms of education, career opportunities and salaries and it would not go over well. Same reason my parents have no idea what my husband or I make.</p>

<p>^^Agree. This year D1 immediately sent me a text when she found out her second yr bonus. It was actually a game. Guess how much Mom.</p>

<p>She told me a friend of hers didn’t tell her parents because it was such a large amount of money, it would be a problem. Family would start asking for money, etc.</p>

<p>I generally knew how much my parents made and my kids generally know how much we make. So I can’t imagine not knowing how much they are making on, at least, their first job.</p>

<p>It’s just not a big deal to share this info. We are family.</p>

<p>I will not ask, but I think she will tell me.;)</p>

<p>morrismm - I am going to see D1 next weekend, not going to ask for money, but will expect her to take me out for a dinner to celebrate.</p>

<p>DH and I are both engineers. Our first jobs out of college were at the same company, and our salaries weren’t that great. We were both laid off the same day, and we got a temporary assignment with Stone & Webster. Our salaries as contractors were about 50% more than our previous wages, and I couldn’t wait to call my parents to tell them! They’d given us so much support that I wanted them to know their investment had “paid off.”</p>

<p>We work for ourselves now. We show the kids some of the impressive-looking checks that come in, then explain some of our staggering expenses, such as professional liability insurance premiums (which are unbelievable for structural engineers).</p>

<p>My D has always known our salaries, so yeah we expect she will tell us hers when she has one. It would be odd for her to keep it to herself, and that would make us worry a little.</p>

<p>Noone would come asking for money. It’s more that I know my sibs bust their tails to support their families, and dollars alone do not tell the full story of that effort. I’d rather focus on the relationships than the bean-counting.</p>

<p>Son has signatory, electronic and physical access to 70% of our assets. Daughter has the same except for signatory access to our trading accounts. So they can access our financial information if they want it. We have a family checking/savings account and credit cards too so they have access to cash and credit if they need it.</p>

<p>We raised them and we trust them.</p>

<p>Oldfort, haha! D1 did pay for brunch on one of her recent visits. She insisted.</p>

<p>D1 told us her beginning salary–with a “Woo hoo!! I’m rich!!” We didn’t have the heart to disabuse her of her moment…</p>

<p>ellemenope: I know what you mean. S2 thought his starting salary was really good (after all, he’d never had a full-time job before) until right before he started the job I showed him how much he’d actually net and what his budget would look like. I’m not sure he’s keeping to that budget, but that’s his business.</p>

<p>Oh, yeah – “who or what is OASDI and why does it eat up so much of my paycheck?” :D</p>

<p>It’s none of my business but I’ll hear about it anyway.</p>