<p>I've been up until at least 2:00 a.m. the past three nights writing and re-writing the opening sentence to my app. essay. The first sentence is the most important part to me, but apparently I've lost all ability to be subjective with my own work.</p>
<p>Here it is:
My bedroom walls are what I picture the inside of my brain to look like.</p>
<p>Ill be talking about how the posters, pictures, etc. in my room reflect my passions/interests.</p>
<p>Any suggestions?</p>
<p>My brain (mind/mentality/psyche) is reflected by the numerous (various/diverse) posters(artwork/pictures0 scattered across my bedroom walls.</p>
<p>The artwork (posters/pictures) scattered across my bedroom walls are a mirrors reflecting my mind (brain/mentality etc.)</p>
<p>I've heard that adcoms hate it when you just describe your room to them. This was in a book about crafting college essays. I'm not sure if it's true, but I suspect that it is true that this technique is extremely overused and approaches cliche.</p>
<p>If everyone avoids it because it's cliched, then it's not a cliche anymore- is it?</p>
<p>Well, we can see that many people do NOT avoid it. The OP of this thread did not avoid it. Nor did many of my friends and many who had their college essays published in guide books. No matter how much adults will advise against writing "sob stories" or any other cliche essays, like "i'm going to describe the stuff in my room", inevitably, many will choose this path. Remember that any essay on any topic can be a good essay if done well. It's just MUCH harder to impress adcoms with an essay on a subject that has been done ad nauseum in the past.</p>
<p>Is this essay really done that much? I thought it would be original... If it help, I'm not technically describing my room; I'm describing how the things on my walls reflect my passions.</p>
<p>OP: Have you written the rest of the essay yet?</p>
<p>If no, work on that and then come back and fine tune your first sentence.</p>
<p>With regard to the topic: it's not the topic, it's what you do with the topic.</p>
<p>Virtually any topic, including one's bedroom, can make for a fine essay. </p>
<p>If the essay is personal, detailed, honest, and revealing--if it reveals something of one's unique personality and experience, one's unique take on the topic--then the essay will be be helpful with college admissions, then it won't matter how many other people wrote on the topic.</p>
<p>The best topic for a writer is the one that allows him/her to be personal, detailed, honest, and revealing. It doesn't matter whether that topic is unique or not.</p>
<p>The target is a unique essay, not a unique topic.</p>
<p>I can take a look if you still need</p>
<p>I love that idea! If you like your essay, and you feel like it's you, then it's never cliched.</p>
<p>But I would avoid the "are". My mind is probably framed by my bedroom walls. Or, My bedroom walls could be the walls of my mind.</p>
<p>Thanks for all the input.. ADad, I haven't written the entire essay yet. Only the first paragraph... I think I'll take your advice and write the whole thing.</p>
<p>In regards to the "cliche" topic: The whole 'my walls represent my passions' is only an opening... The whole essay won't be about my room, it's going to be about my passions.</p>
<p>I love the first sentance you came up with - it caugh my attention</p>
<p>Thanks coolman! I'm hoping it will catch some admission officers attention too. </p>
<p>Should I post the entire first paragraph? And by entire, I mean the four-sentence attempt.</p>
<p>You could talk about your room, but you have to make sure you connect it to personal growth. Maybe, talking about memories, which connect to certain items in your room, would work.</p>