First-Timers: The Stressed Parents Thread

<p>Soozie....Thank you so much for that detailed reply. That really cleared for me the process and how that domino effect can create openings and then more openings through the summer as people on wait lists shift around. I had always scratched my head how those openings came up in July and you provided a very plausible scenario of how that could happen. </p>

<p>My daughter has been accepted to a non MT program and I know another expense we are faced with is not only the $100 enrollment fee but the school highly recommending putting up $300 and picking a dorm before the good dorms are all gone - only a portion of that $300 is refundable. We are kind of taking our chances now waiting for the bulk of MT letters to be received. I can't recall if we would need to send in the $100 before we signed up for the dorm - but I'm thinking we would.</p>

<p>Soozie, can you comment?<br>
Some schools ask students to LIST and RANK the schools to which they have applied/auditioned BEFORE they have heard anything. That poses a dilemma. What does it look like to put that school anywhere but at the top, and how does this ranking affect the school's perception of the student or decisions about the student as they relate to acceptance offers or talent awards?
Thanks!</p>

<p>I am interested in what soozievt says about this, letsfigureitout. I have heard of kids who did not rank a certain school at the very top being accepted at that school, so it must happen. But I would guess that schools do try to "suss out" the odds of a talented kid accepting an acceptance by way of either asking a kid to list schools in order of preference or at least questioning the kid in the audition itself. I wish the schools would NOT do this, but some clearly do.</p>

<p>My daughter only had this happen once I think during auditions on a sheet ranking her top 4 picks. She asked me what she should do. I told her to list them as #1 - if they asked such a stupid question they deserved to be lied to. I do think it is a stupid question. How do you know before you even audition and spend the next 3 or 4 hours with them and before you get scholarship offers? What would they say if before the audition you asked them "I'd like you to rank me among all your MT candidates" ? ?</p>

<p>letsfigureitout - I am also really curious to hear Soozie's take on this; if I remember correctly, and may be NMR remembers this too, some time ago there was a discussion about this very same issue. I just can't find the thread, and do I know talking about this with my D going into the audition season this fall.</p>

<p>As for my D, she generally only listed 4-5 schools each time she was asked what schools she applied to. When at a more "academic BFA program", she put down 3/4 other similar schools she applied to, and when auditioning at a conservatory type school, she included the other conservatory programs she had among her applications. </p>

<p>She typically put them in alphabetical order, or, if asked to rank, she listed the school she was at as "first choice" (she did have 12 first choices throughout this entire process and so she was not really making this up :)). </p>

<p>In any event, and fwiw, when asked for example at Elon what schools she was applying to, she responded "well, NYU, Penn State, Syracuse and UMich"; she was accepted at Elon, and I don't think that how she answered this question really affected things, if anything, it just confirmed that she was serious about pursuing a BFA.</p>

<p>Letsfigureitout....</p>

<p>I had not heard of colleges asking applicants to RANK the schools to which they have applied and I find that action as less than "kosher," to be honest. I have seen some schools ask where else the student applied and I even think that is not a fair question and I have discussed that issue here on this forum in the past (all these same topics come up year after year). </p>

<p>First, to the question about where else you have applied. I don't feel this is the college's business to know. What I think is a much fairer question and one that actually IS important, is to ask the applicant their college criteria in selecting colleges and determine how that criteria matches what they offer. They also should ask the student why they student wants to attend their college and then assess their interest level and knowledge of their school and the fit. I am an alumni interviewer for my alma mater and in fact, just interviewed a candidate yesterday and I did ask her college criteria and I did ask why she wanted this college but I did not ask where else she applied. </p>

<p>If a student is asked where else they applied, I think a reasonable answer is to offer up SOME of the schools they applied to but there is no obligation to divulge all their other schools. My older daughter was NEVER asked this on any of her applications or interviews and so I was taken back when my younger one, who did the BFA process, was asked this on some audition forms. She put down about five of her 8 schools and mentioned ones of the same selectivity or lower, so as not to make it seem that the college was low on her priority list as being not as "prestigious" as others, so to speak. Personally, I found the question in bad taste. Anyway, what happened to her is that at one selective program, in the audition room, during the "interview" portion, they looked at her form and asked, "why isn't someone like you applying to NYU?" and she hadn't put down NYU but was indeed an applicant there and so she had to think on her feet and explained the differences between the two schools (she was well versed on her schools) and why aspects she liked about the school she was at that were appealing to her. She was accepted to that school with scholarship. She ended up at NYU, however. :)</p>

<p>Now, to the question of ranking one's schools.....not sure what I would do in that case as it really turns me off that a school would ask this because students have a right to apply to many schools and to apply to some "safer" bets and to get into those "safer" bets since they may need them if not accepted to the more selective schools on their list. Frankly, I don't know that my own kids could even have ranked their schools and in fact, I was very happy that my daughters did not pine away for one SINGLE favorite "must have" school and had "piles" of most favorite, favorite, least favorite but happy to attend schools. It was a recipe for less disappointment that way. I have a child who is an applicant to highly selective (like BFAs!!) graduate programs at the moment and could not rank her list and has piles of more favored than others, and in fact, hasn't gotten to visit them all yet! So, besides what one "should" put down, I would say that an honest answer for them would not be a ranked list in the first place! If they were to put an honest answer down, it likely would be little "groupings". So, perhaps a student could write, "I haven't visited all of my schools yet and have not ranked them in any order but my preferences are this group as more preferred than this group, but that could change once I see my options and have made final visits. Then, put the school that the student is at in the "preferred group" and list similar schools of type and selectivity in that group and some others in the other group and not necessarily list every school to which they applied and perhaps leave off ones that are perceived as way more selective than the school in question. Like I said, if my kids were forced to do this, an honest answer would be little groups of schools, and not an ordered list anyway. So, that's my gut feeling but again, have not seen this situation before and would frankly not be pleased if a school asked for such a ranking.</p>

<p>Thanks, Soozie, for your input. I guess we have discussed this before at another time on another thread. I have send you a PM. . .</p>

<p>Interestingly, the one school that did this at LA unifieds threw us into such indecision that my son forgot to go back and put anything in. When he went back later and asked the head of the department if he could complete his form, he was told not to worry about it as he never looked at it anyway.</p>

<p>My D has had 1 school ask for this ranking this year. She ranked them #1, not really knowing what to do, then ranked her true numbers 1,2 and 3 behind that.</p>

<p>S was asked to rank at one of the schools he auditioned for at Chicago Unifieds. The school is in his top tier (and he visited last spring so he's very familiar with the program), but is not his very top choice. Unfortunately he answered the question honestly, and did not put them at #1. In hindsight I suppose he ought to have lied. He and I both felt that question was very unfair for the kids.</p>

<p>I do not think there is any time that a kid should be encouraged to lie. Perhaps I am not sophisticated about this "game," but, if you think about it, what does it teach our young generation if we say that being untruthful is OK? Shame on those that have put our kids (and us!) in such a situation. Hopefully, the honest answers will not hurt our kids' chances for admission or money. . .and if they do, then maybe that's not where we want them to be anyway.</p>

<p>My D decided, if and when asked, to merely say something along the lines of "I am aware that these programs are so competitive that it doesn't really make sense to have a favorite. I would be thrilled and honored to be offered admission at any one of them."</p>

<p>Great response--wish we had planned for it! Anyway, what did she do when confronted with the ranking question, specifically asked to list where the school fell in that ranking, and was provided with lines to write the list on?</p>

<p>my daughter was never aksed that question in person and she never filled it out in any applications or forms. It hasn't seemed to matter so far. It just isn't a fair question because there is no way to know whether the answer will impact the audition or not.</p>

<p>letsfigureitout, what school asked the kids to rank their list?</p>

<p>You are absolutely right Lets - there is nothing that inflames me more than lying and I have not encouraged my children to do it. I could have worded my post better. I still say it was a stupid question on their part and one that at that particular moment she did not have the information to fully respond to as I indicated. One approach we discussed was "have not made up my mind yet" - which could have some negative connotations and not set well with a school. In actuality she was going into an audtion at THAT school at THAT moment and all her energy and attention at THAT moment was directed to getting into THAT school..so at THAT moment they were center stage and #1. </p>

<p>I do think there are times, however, when not telling the 100% truth is expected. For instance I have never responded to a girlfriend asking how she looked in a dress by telling her it makes her look 20 pounds overweight and is the most hideous color I've ever seen. I guess technically in that situation I have been known to "lie"</p>

<p>I just wish the schools wouldn't ask these things. It puts the kids in a very awkward situation. I would be very interested in how the schools use that information.</p>

<p>Re: lying in social situations, such as a friend who is wearing a supremely unflattering garment. I guess my answer would depend upon when I was asked. If we are shopping together and she asks if she should buy it, I would honestly say that it wasn't my favorite on her and we should keep looking. However, if someone asked me in, say, the office, I would just try to find something honest but non comprehensive to say about it, such as "I like that style" or "Wow, that's nice and bright." :)</p>

<p>Kids in an audition situation are in sort of the same kind of situation: there is a lot of "social" pressure to say the right thing without telling untruths. It's a very difficult situation.</p>

<p>I've been lurking because my D was asked to rank her choices for one school for VP on her application. At the time, it really was her first choice so she didn't have to lie - she has 3 first choices now. </p>

<p>If asked, I'd want to turn my southern accent back on and say "Honey, that's for me to know and you to find out."</p>

<p>TOO TOO Funny Cartera LOLOL I have this perfect image of a Rue McClanahan from Golden Girls saying that.</p>

<p>Alwaysamom
I know last year Ithaca asked the kids to rank their list--top five I think. </p>

<p>Syracuse asked what other schools they were applying to on the application they had to fill out when they got to the audition. Daughter filled out a "sampling" of similar programs as had been suggested on CC. </p>

<p>At Muhlenberg she was asked during her admissions interview what other schools she was applying to, but was not asked by the theater department.</p>