<p>I am a college gal. One of the problems I have noticed with guys is that when a girl tries to volunteer for a friendship with them, they tend to think she is romantically interested in them. I have seen this with so many guys, and so many girls complain about this.</p>
<p>This goes to guys: what suggestions would you give to girls as far as approaching guys is concerned? What sort of girl behaviors and antics put you off?</p>
<p>Thanks!</p>
<p>Guys just don't work that way.</p>
<p>If you act very friendly, we think you like us.
If you alternate between friendly and uninterested, we think you like us but you're playing games.
If you act uninterested, we think you're playing hard to get.</p>
<p>When you laugh at stuff that isn't funny. That's pretty annoying.</p>
<p>steevee speaks the truth, I couldn't agree more.</p>
<p>This is a very amusing topic.</p>
<p>Yeah, girls divide guys into 'potential lovers' and 'friends.' They like compartmentalizing guys into these two separate categories and hate it when a guy friend all of the sudden shows interest or tries to hit on them. That's why guys hate it when they fall into "Lets just be friends" land, b/c most of the time you ain't gettin' out.</p>
<p>However, guys do not have this distinction with women.
If you’re a somewhat attractive female, then a guy is going to remain attracted to you even if you make it clear that you’re just friends.
Many times a guy is interested in a girl from the beginning but he’s too afraid to show his interest so he ends up becoming her ‘friend,’ only to reveal his intentions or ask her out months later and really weird her out.</p>
<p>So it is possible for a guy to think of a hot female as a friend? Well, yes, they can be great friends. If the guy understands that she’s not interested and never will be, then he’ll stop making advances and probably be more comfortable around her as well. However, the thing is he’ll still be attracted to her and would screw her in a heartbeat if she offered.</p>
<p>However, what you’re describing is a different situation. You are not talking about guys who are already your friends. You are talking about new guys, strangers, who you haven’t put in the “friend zone” yet. You are approaching them, and seeing how guys usually approach women to meet them, this reversal is a pretty strong move, just because it’s rare for a woman to start chatting up a strange guy. Of course the guy will immediately think you’re interested. Smiling at them, laughing, touching them, you are giving off signs that you are interested; guys will especially want to believe this if you are pretty attractive. Evolutionarily speaking, it’s to the male’s advantage to assume interest and act upon it. The man will make errors but will also gets the girls who actually are interested more often than the man who is more careful or requires some grand display of interest. </p>
<p>Unfortunately, I can’t offer any advice for making male friends or establishing that your relationship is strictly platonic friendship without you seeming like an ‘ice *****’ or losing the guy because I’m not a woman and have no experience with that. I’m sure there’s plenty of articles on it by women, though, since it seems quite common.</p>
<p>i remember learning that guys take girls' insterest in them as romantic interest in ap psych. (dude, i think anyone with social prob. should take a intro psych class to get an overview of how ugly human beings are).</p>
<p>anyway, i think the best possible solution for girls is to be confrontational and rude. make it obvious so that the guy knows that ur not some toy. if u pretend to be shy or uncertain, the guy will be more assertive. u must snap him out of his dreams with ur strong personality.</p>
<p>Then he thinks you're playing hard to get</p>
<p>fail</p>
<p>If a chick is confrontational and rude, he'll think she's a *****. But in any case, the sexual attraction is always there because its instinct.</p>
<p>Personally, I like to get to know a guy as friends before getting into any kind of relationship, but I guess that's just me. I'm glad that you brought up that question, though, because I'm curious too. Another problem that I've had is if I like a guy, and he knows/suspects it, and later I don't like him anymore...he doesn't always figure out that I'm over him. But I think girls do that too.</p>
<p>Anyways, I think that the best way to keep a guy from thinking that you like him is just not being too forward. If that means you don't end up being great friends, so be it - but if you're so interested in befriending him, you might have some romantic interest in him that you haven't confronted.</p>
<p>just take ur time. if they r interested in u,just be friends. cos u know they r not sluts</p>
<p>I'd say it's mission impossible :D</p>
<p>I have this gal friend, very very sociable, pretty attractive, etc, and like 90% of her friends are guys..and tons of them. Also, whenever she goes clubbing or just for a walk in the park, she's bound to meet 2-3 new guys. Well i can tell you, ALL of her friends thought at least at some point that she was into them. Ya, including me. Everyone was like "HUH, you come and talk to me, we have some fun together, share a few laughs, and now you tell me you're not actually interested ?! *** r up with you woman??"
So, if you don't want any of that, don't do any of the following:</p>
<p>Don't look interested.
Don't go anywhere just with him.
Don't look at him too much.
Don't get too close (physically or otherwise).
Um
Don't act interested (like keep phoning him, asking him out, talking all day on IM's etc)
Or for short, don't make it seem like he's special or important to you.</p>
<p>Anyway, as far as I know, guys fall faster in love, AND are more willing to do so. If the guy doesn't have some other girl to fantasize about, you're surely in for it.
But of course it is possible he actually just won't be attracted to you, and want you only as a friend. If you're ugly and not really fun.</p>
<p>I havea lot of guy friends, and they've pretty much told me they look upon me as their sister, and "you aren't a girl. not practically." Also, a lot of guys have told me I think like a guy >.>.</p>
<p>I have no idea how this happened, so I can't help. It's just the way it's always been.</p>
<p>Humankind has invented lying several years ago. Watch the news.</p>
<p>Well anyway either that or they were actually kinda rude :P</p>
<p>Hehe, they meant it :P.</p>
<p>Ok well I'm a guy that has girls for friends. In fact, I believe for a guy its essential that you guys make at least 3-5 hot, girl friends. Why?</p>
<p>Well, take for example Girl 1. I've known her for like two years. Met at least 5+ other all hot girls through her. Not only that, she'll buy me food out of nowhere, and even light me up. Girls are just softies like that. She's got a BF too :p, but I don't look at her like that anymore. It took a while but I never have just one girl, so it keeps me from getting too hooked before I even know them.</p>
<p>Then you have Girl 2. This girl used to mess with one of my friends. She too is ridiculously hot and brings tons of her friends over. Not to mention she can roll a dutch crazyyyy (any girl that can roll receives an A+ in my book), and always has connects to what the crew needs.</p>
<p>Girl 3. This is the girl that tons of guys in the streets constantly holla at or grill me down when I'm with her. She is a world class ***** to nearly every guy and alot of girls, but once you break that ***** personality, she's probably one of the coolest most important people to me. Not to mention her daddy's got money, so I get treated often to food after I light her up or w/e.</p>
<p>Anyway, I find that if you get a girl ridiculously attracted to you, then either:</p>
<p>A. Distance yourself as it was in the case with girl 1 (I left somewhere for like three months)
B. Stop showing interest in her long enough for her to find someone else.e</p>
<p>What this does is keep some of those old feelings of adventure and fun living in her when she sees you, but she'll be under control of her emotions enouhg to just wanna chill with you. Women are some of THE best friends you can have, but also some of THE worst friends you can have at times. My words of advice to guys:</p>
<ol>
<li>Never 100% on one girl to get things done. Just don't do it. If you need something annd you have to rely on women, call like 4, cuz chances are three of them will drop it within the next 3 minutes.</li>
<li>Never try to go in between being friends and lovers unless she thinks you are cute enough to be FBs.</li>
<li>NEVER let a girl who you are making your friend walk all over you. I constantly see guys suck up to that last girl, talk to her all sensitive and ****, yet for as hot as this girl is she used to be into cars and engines, superheroes and god knows what else (this girl is like guys dreams but me and her wouldn't work out). Assert yourself your a guy use your balls.</li>
</ol>
<p>For the girls. If you wanna make guy friends, the EASIEST way is to get a few girlfriends who aren't single,and just start chilling with their group when they go out with a bunch of guys. Of course they are gonna try to hook you up, and honestly I dunno why you wouldn't try in college, but regardless you will almost ALWAYS (if these guys have *****es that would like to get used) make friends with the other girls boyfriends for one of two reasons:</p>
<ol>
<li>If they are like me, they realize that all you girls are jealous misers with your men. You can always use a girls friends to make her like you more through fear of loss (its just how it goes, don't think im some cruel machiavellian dater).
or</li>
<li>Most guys know that if their girlfriends don't like them, they will do ANYTHING to get a girl to go with someone else, including introducing them to hot cousins, brothers, etc.</li>
</ol>
<p>If you don't wanna hang out that way, then you could join like a video game club on campus, or a club generally filled with a bunch of nerds . Why? Well because as a secret nerd myself (ppl think because the way I dress and talk I can't like World of Warcraft :p) I can tell you that nerds are the coolest guys to know. They generally have the sickest cars, know the most ridiculous quirky things (which is a plus), always have something fun to do since most of them don't drink or smoke (so if you don't do either they are good to chill with), and are just in general positive people. Of course, they still might fall for you, but again you need to open up more.</p>
<p>The only other class of guys I think more interesting than nerds is probably the rugged man. Hiking, fishing, climbing, skydiving, etc, but that's something else. I can't wait to go climbing and hiking this summer though.</p>
<p>lol Mr. Amazing, I love your post so much. Have you any links to suggest?</p>
<p>
[quote]
Smiling at them, laughing, touching them, you are giving off signs that you are interested; guys will especially want to believe this if you are pretty attractive.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>lol, "touching them." Yeah, someone did it to me even though it was later clear that she only compartmentalized me as a friend. Do girls do that to friends a lot?</p>
<p>are girls ever the people who take the initiative in turning a friendship into a relationship? Or is it usually boys who do that? And if boys do that, do they take the initiative in nearly all cases, or just the majority of cases?</p>
<p>I know a girl who did take the initiative in doing that. I don't know of other cases though.</p>
<p>In addition to post #2:</p>
<p>Don't approach us if you aren't sexually interested.</p>
<p>Why do I say this? Because any advance or approach from a girl will be immediately equated to romantic/sexual interest. I adhere to the same reasoning when approaching females.</p>