<p>Oh, I know there are numerous colleges that will take her. It’s just that the ones she has in mind might not IF she doesn’t improve her scores. 
But, I understood what you said and I’m going to try to approach the whole thing differently. The keyword: TRY. :)</p>
<hr>
<p>mmaah said:</p>
<p>And remember: There are LOTS of colleges that will want your child as a student.</p>
<p>I want to thank ALL of you for your kind, but firm words. It helped me to see myself through someone else’s eyes. Many of you have gone through it, so experience is always helpful. </p>
<p>As I mentioned before, this “helicopter parent” approach is all new to me and I honestly thank the stars that I haven’t had to do this all along! Yikes. I know parents who do and it drives me CRAZY! I looked in the mirror and didn’t like what I saw. And, thanks to you parents, it really brought it into perspective.</p>
<p>Now, off to enjoy a much lower-key summer!</p>
<p>My daughter just sent me her ACT report. Writing isn’t available yet. </p>
<p>Score </p>
<p>Composite Score : 28 </p>
<p>Does your score meet the ACT College Readiness Benchmark? </p>
<p>English 34 Yes. </p>
<p>Usage/Mechanics 18
Rhetorical Skills 16 </p>
<p>Mathematics 28 Yes. But you can further improve your mathematics skills. </p>
<p>Pre-Algebra/Elem. Algebra 17
Algebra/Coord. Geometry 12
Plane Geometry/Trig. 15 </p>
<p>Reading 24 Yes. But you can further improve your reading skills. </p>
<p>Social Studies/Sciences 11
Arts/Literature 15 </p>
<p>Science 24 Yes. But you can further improve your science skills. </p>
<p>Combined English/Writing Not yet available </p>
<p>Writing (score range 2 to 12) Not yet available</p>
<p>Both my kids didn’t do nearly as well on the CR portion of the (P)SAT as you would have predicted by looking at their English grades, for different reasons. In my d’s case, she found the SAT confusing and tricky. It is in fact unintuitive for a lot of kids (and you will find a lot of threads here about that), but a lot of the tricks can be learned. She had 3 private tutoring sessions and brought her CR score up dramatically - by the equivalent of over 100 points, as I recall.</p>
<p>My son also struggled with the SAT’s “trickiness,” but his problem, which affected both his PSAT and ACT, is a visual processing deficit that affects his reading speed. We were fortunate that it had been diagnosed at the beginning of his sophomore year, so his very low verbal test scores weren’t a complete surprise. He also had some private tutoring, and he and the tutor very quickly decided not to waste their time on the SAT but to focus on the ACT, which is a more straightforward test. He self-studied for the science section, which is very teachable, and used his high science and math scores to offset the much lower verbal scores.</p>
<p>The reason why I tell you all this is because people don’t always understand that low scores on these standardized tests aren’t necessarily because the kid didn’t study enough, or try hard enough, or work hard enough in school. The skill set required to do well on the SAT is very different from English class, where you are usually not asked multiple-choice questions, none of which seem to be the right answer, and where you are not generally required to read and make decisions at lightning speed. What I’d recommend is that you ask your daughter in a loving and supportive way if she wants to give either the SAT or the ACT another shot to try to bring her scores up. If she doesn’t, fine - there are lots of good colleges out there that will love her, including some UC’s. If she does, then the first step is to diagnose the problem. Does she have trouble finishing the sections? Does she find the questions confusing? We found that a few very targeted sessions with a knowlegeable private tutor really helped diagnose the problem and find solutions, or at least work-arounds. </p>
<p>BTW, your husband is right in not writing off Stanford. My son will be a freshman there this fall - and his composite ACT score was 30.</p>
<p>Posted and then saw the ACT info. A lot of kids get thrown by the science section if they haven’t seen it before. The science section isn’t about knowing science facts, it’s about being able to read and interpret graphs and charts. Fortunately for my kids their hs science classes really emphasize those skills, so my son just needed to practice being fast at it. The secret is not to do any reading before looking at the questions and then reading only what is necessary. </p>
<p>Can you get a copy of the test with the answers and what questions she missed? She (and you) will learn a lot from looking at what she missed, esp. on the reading section.</p>
<p>Both my kids didn’t do nearly as well on the CR portion of the (P)SAT as you would have predicted by looking at their English grades, for different reasons. In my d’s case, she found the SAT confusing and tricky. It is in fact unintuitive for a lot of kids (and you will find a lot of threads here about that), but a lot of the tricks can be learned. She had 3 private tutoring sessions and brought her CR score up dramatically - by the equivalent of over 100 points, as I recall.</p>
<p>My son also struggled with the SAT’s “trickiness,” but his problem, which affected both his PSAT and ACT, is a visual processing deficit that affects his reading speed. We were fortunate that it had been diagnosed at the beginning of his sophomore year, so his very low verbal test scores weren’t a complete surprise. He also had some private tutoring, and he and the tutor very quickly decided not to waste their time on the SAT but to focus on the ACT, which is a more straightforward test. He self-studied for the science section, which is very teachable, and used his high science and math scores to offset the much lower verbal scores.</p>
<p>The reason why I tell you all this is because people don’t always understand that low scores on these standardized tests aren’t necessarily because the kid didn’t study enough, or try hard enough, or work hard enough in school. The skill set required to do well on the SAT is very different from English class, where you are usually not asked multiple-choice questions, none of which seem to be the right answer, and where you are not generally required to read and make decisions at lightning speed. What I’d recommend is that you ask your daughter in a loving and supportive way if she wants to give either the SAT or the ACT another shot to try to bring her scores up. If she doesn’t, fine - there are lots of good colleges out there that will love her, including some UC’s. If she does, then the first step is to diagnose the problem. Does she have trouble finishing the sections? Does she find the questions confusing? We found that a few very targeted sessions with a knowlegeable private tutor really helped diagnose the problem and find solutions, or at least work-arounds. </p>
<p>BTW, your husband is right in not writing off Stanford. My son will be a freshman there this fall - and his composite ACT score was 30.</p>
<p>I wholeheartedly agree and as I mentioned, I have NEVER, ever had to say a peep about her assignments in the past. She’s almost TOO self-directed to the point where I have no idea even what her homework or projects consist of. This is a kid who is mum about a lot and just doesn’t share details. A bit like my husband. 
They say what needs to be said and that’s that. So, I’ve basically just left it up to her to take care of business…and she has. Again, this nervousness on my part is almost surely related to the fact that THIS IS IT–meaning she won’t have more chances to take the important tests or write decent essays, etc. etc. I’m projecting and I need to back away for awhile. I can see that now. Thanks.:)</p>
<hr>
<p>ingrp said:</p>
<p>To the OP–you’re only a little over a year away from being unable to do <em>any</em> oversight of her school work. Best let her get in the habit of taking responsibility for when/whether she does her school assignments.</p>
<p>Your DD sounds like an awesome young lady. Really, you should count your blessings.</p>
<p>Hey 2Leashes–good for you for being open to changing your approach and listening to others. You obviously have your daughter’s best interests at heart–good mom!</p>
<p>First of all, congratulations on your son’s acceptance to Stanford. Bravo! News like this is always encouraging. I know that Stanford is really looking for that unique quality in their students, so it sounds like your son must be very special. Best wishes to him!</p>
<p>My D mentioned awhile back that she might concentrate on the ACT if her scores proved to be better. She figures if she got 28 the first time with little studying, then the one in late October might even go up a few points WITH more practice. She will still need to take one more SATll, though, for the UCs. She’s trying to decide which one before she signs up to take the SAT Reasoning and Subject test again, also in October. </p>
<hr>
<p>MarinMom wrote:</p>
<p>Both my kids didn’t do nearly as well on the CR portion of the (P)SAT as you would have predicted by looking at their English grades, for different reasons. In my d’s case, she found the SAT confusing and tricky. It is in fact unintuitive for a lot of kids (and you will find a lot of threads here about that), but a lot of the tricks can be learned. She had 3 private tutoring sessions and brought her CR score up dramatically - by the equivalent of over 100 points, as I recall.</p>
<p>My son also struggled with the SAT’s “trickiness,” but his problem, which affected both his PSAT and ACT, is a visual processing deficit that affects his reading speed. We were fortunate that it had been diagnosed at the beginning of his sophomore year, so his very low verbal test scores weren’t a complete surprise. He also had some private tutoring, and he and the tutor very quickly decided not to waste their time on the SAT but to focus on the ACT, which is a more straightforward test. He self-studied for the science section, which is very teachable, and used his high science and math scores to offset the much lower verbal scores.</p>
<p>The reason why I tell you all this is because people don’t always understand that low scores on these standardized tests aren’t necessarily because the kid didn’t study enough, or try hard enough, or work hard enough in school. The skill set required to do well on the SAT is very different from English class, where you are usually not asked multiple-choice questions, none of which seem to be the right answer, and where you are not generally required to read and make decisions at lightning speed. What I’d recommend is that you ask your daughter in a loving and supportive way if she wants to give either the SAT or the ACT another shot to try to bring her scores up. If she doesn’t, fine - there are lots of good colleges out there that will love her, including some UC’s. If she does, then the first step is to diagnose the problem. Does she have trouble finishing the sections? Does she find the questions confusing? We found that a few very targeted sessions with a knowlegeable private tutor really helped diagnose the problem and find solutions, or at least work-arounds. </p>
<p>BTW, your husband is right in not writing off Stanford. My son will be a freshman there this fall - and his composite ACT score was 30.</p>
<p>Good idea. I’m not sure how to do that, but I can ask her to find out. She’s the only one who has a password/access to her account. She was kind enough to copy and paste her report for me. </p>
<hr>
<p>MarinMom asked:
Can you get a copy of the test with the answers and what questions she missed? She (and you) will learn a lot from looking at what she missed, esp. on the reading section.</p>
<p>Now can I have a treat? LOL Thanks mom in virginia. I appreciate your post.</p>
<hr>
<p>mom in virginia wrote:</p>
<p>Hey 2Leashes–good for you for being open to changing your approach and listening to others. You obviously have your daughter’s best interests at heart–good mom!</p>
<p>2Leashes wrote: </p>
<p>
</p>
<p>2Leashes, my daughter’s best score on the ACT was 28. She took it again and got 27. She submitted ACT’s only to private schools because they were marginally better than her SATs.</p>
<p>She turned down Univ. of Chicago, NYU, & Berkeley (+ 5 other schools) for Barnard.</p>
<p>Back off. Let your daughter make the decisions. If you are fretting about test scores because of what you read on this site, then quit reading this web site. Your daughters test scores are what they are, and whether your daughter elects to retake the tests or studies or preps for them or does better or not is part of her journey, not yours. </p>
<p>It doesn’t matter. My daughter’s safeties – schools that she knew were sure to admit her – were all great colleges as well. (2 other UC campus, Univ. of Washington, Fordham, etc.). She would have done well at any one of those schools, though of course her experience would have been different. </p>
<p>At one point during the college admissions season, I got into a huge fight with my daughter about studying for exams, and I regret it to this day. I said things I never should have said, she was tremendously upset — and I don’t think any test score could be worth the hit on our relationship. Later on, after it was all over and the envelopes were in, my daughter told me that she wished I had been more positive and supportive of her. I kept trying to talk up her safeties to shield her from later disappointment --she took it as a message that I didn’t have faith in her or didn’t think she was smart enough for the reach colleges … and it hurt her feelings and hurt our relationship.</p>
<p>So back off, and have faith. Your daughter has a good range of schools she is looking at, and she’ll get in where she gets in. She needs to focus on her strengths in the college admission process and target her applications to the schools that will appreciate her strengths. And you need to step back and play the role of a spectator and a cheerleader, not the manager. Ask your daughter what help she wants from you… and then stick to that. (Other than the one unfortunate argument over the test prep,I was pretty good with my daughter – she gave me little internet tasks along the way, like “find out which schools offer courses in X.”)</p>
<p>:) I’ve already started backing off, calmom. I have a love-hate relationship with many of the posts here on CC. I was definitely getting caught up in the pressure and high stats that seemed to jump out at me each time I opened a thread. But, I’m also appreciative for the kind advice I’ve received from folks here in regards to that. Thanks.</p>
<hr>
<p>calmom had said:</p>
<p>…“So back off, and have faith.”</p>
<p>2Leashes, you sound like a great mom and you’ve proven here that you are open to hearing criticism and coaching, which is very hard, and so I applaud you. You are miles ahead of where I was “back in the day” when my kids were heading into senior year.</p>
<p>So I just wanted to give you some perspective. You need to realize that so much of what your daughter has accomplished and so much of who she is, is because of the mom that you’ve been. Supportive, accepting, encouraging, allowing her to dream high (even if you don’t want her to go to Europe, do the gap year, be an OT or whatever.) So take a little victory lap for yourself right now. I know you won’t believe me, but the hard part is over. The next year is just sorting out the details (where will she go, how will we pay for it, does she need sweaters or another pair of flip-flops).</p>
<p>As stressful as the next couple of months are going to be, your D is pretty much baked as a person. And that’s because of you, and all the good values you modeled. No kid gets to senior year with as much diligence as your if they haven’t seen good role models at home.</p>
<p>So go eat an ice cream cone, pat yourself on the back for a good job, and let your D take the reins from here.</p>
<p>Thank you for your nice words, Blossom. Very encouraging. My husband and are both supportive, but sometimes I think she appreciates his ‘quiet and steady way’ over the way I come across…ALTHOUGH, I was stoked to come across something on her computer she wrote in reference to her interest in becoming an Occupational Therapist. She mentioned how I helped her research the career opportunities, schools, salaries, etc. She said, “I am grateful for her effort to help me learn more about the profession and her encouragement to pursue what I am interested in”.</p>
<p>So it ain’t all bad! :)</p>
<hr>
<p>Blossom had posted:</p>
<p>2Leashes, you sound like a great mom and you’ve proven here that you are open to hearing criticism and coaching, which is very hard, and so I applaud you. You are miles ahead of where I was “back in the day” when my kids were heading into senior year.</p>
<p>So I just wanted to give you some perspective. You need to realize that so much of what your daughter has accomplished and so much of who she is, is because of the mom that you’ve been. Supportive, accepting, encouraging, allowing her to dream high (even if you don’t want her to go to Europe, do the gap year, be an OT or whatever.) So take a little victory lap for yourself right now. I know you won’t believe me, but the hard part is over. The next year is just sorting out the details (where will she go, how will we pay for it, does she need sweaters or another pair of flip-flops).</p>
<p>As stressful as the next couple of months are going to be, your D is pretty much baked as a person. And that’s because of you, and all the good values you modeled. No kid gets to senior year with as much diligence as your if they haven’t seen good role models at home.</p>
<p>So go eat an ice cream cone, pat yourself on the back for a good job, and let your D take the reins from here.</p>
<p>
[QUOTE=calmom]
Later on, after it was all over and the envelopes were in, my daughter told me that she wished I had been more positive and supportive of her. I kept trying to talk up her safeties to shield her from later disappointment --she took it as a message that I didn’t have faith in her or didn’t think she was smart enough for the reach colleges … and it hurt her feelings and hurt our relationship.
[/quote]
This is worth reading, re-reading, and printing to read again! I went through similar experiences with geek_son and made a mess of things with my nervousness. After it was all done, he told me how he’d really felt – first the pressure, then that he’d never be good enough for me, then (when I got wiser and backed off) that I didn’t have faith in him or had given up. Oy! I was trying too hard. Senior year and application season are already stressful enough without a stressed-out parent dumping on top of it! I learned a lot from him in the process and we grew closer, but it could have been so much better.</p>
<p>2Leashes, CC has an odd relationship with reality. It’s a great place to get leads on things – scholarships, financial aid, parent/school relations, colleges you might never have heard of. But it’s a lousy place to compare your kiddo with other kiddos. Looking at her track record, you know you’ve raised her right. Bravo, mom! Now you get to play a part in a very exciting time of her life! Things will work out, and your daughter will almost certainly find a great place where she’ll learn, prosper, and feel like she belongs. Stay positive in your supporting role, vent here when things are tough, and celebrate this wonderful stage of her becoming… and you will have great memories together. :)</p>
<p>2Leashes,</p>
<p>Sounds like she’s already practicing what she will learn in OT school…how to balance work-play/leisure-self care. It’s hard to teach it to others if you can’t practice it yourself. Good for her, she’ll be fine.</p>
<p>(From an OT)</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>I really have to second that – I’m very skeptical of a lot of the info I see posted here in terms of stats and EC’s, both by parents and students. I don’t know if it is because of an inherent tendency to embellish on an anonymous internet forum, or just that this site tends to attract kids who are driven, overachievers, and over-zealous parents (and perhaps those that don’t fit that model feel intimidated about posting personal details). I also think that there is way too much focus on “stats” and not nearly enough appreciation both of the somewhat capricious nature of college admissions, and the impact of personal factors that aren’t measurable in terms of statistics.</p>
<p>When high stat kids on CC don’t get into their chosen colleges, there’s a tendency to assume that is either because their stats weren’t good enough or because all the competition had better stats. But when I read some of the posts in the chances threads, my eyes glaze over and I really get bored reading what is essentially the same “perfect” list over and over again. I’m looking for what makes a particular kid stand out… and in a sea of superstars, it may be that many of the less-than-perfect students have a better story to tell. I don’t know. </p>
<p>I just know that the shared anxiety factor on CC creates an overly pessimistic view of college admissions.</p>
<p>Just found this thread in the CC archives. A useful idea for parents new to CC? I’m glad geek_son never saw it, but it might come up in the next four years! :o
<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/114620-cheerios-diet-punishment.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/114620-cheerios-diet-punishment.html</a></p>
<p>I saved that thread, geek_mom! But, yeah…I better not show it to my daughter. ;)</p>
<hr>
<p>geek_mom wrote:</p>
<p>Just found this thread in the CC archives. A useful idea for parents new to CC? I’m glad geek_son never saw it, but it might come up in the next four years!
The Cheerio’s Diet Punishment</p>