<p>My husband dragged home a few days ago, exhausted. The committee had wrapped up the final rankings for admissions at his school. For those who speculate what really goes on - it's not easy. He said that at the end, after it was all said and done, after all the "trying to balance the class" was finished, the pool was still filled with students whose stats, grades and accomplishments were so close it was nearly impossible to choose.</p>
<p>He looked at me, weary - having gone through the gut wrenching process of waiting for news when our own daughter was applying to BS (two years in a row) and said "I get it. How do I tell a perfectly wonderful candidate yes and another one that also impressed me no? We have so many good kids and so few spots to put them in."</p>
<p>So it really comes down to negotiating and arguing and trying to persuade other committee members. And in the end, student A who got rejected might have been just as good as student B who was accepted. </p>
<p>So know that many of the Adcoms at many of the schools have children of their own. Some have gone through the same experience. Some have had to send their children elsewhere because they don't have the "pull" for their own kids that people think they do. They're human beings trying to make a subjective choice knowing it might be wrong.</p>
<p>It isn't a rejection of the student, just a gut wrenching reality that everyone is marvelous.</p>
<p>For those applying next year. Cast the widest net possible. I remember being ticked off with all the bogus talk about top tier versus lower tier. Or being criticized that we considered less popular choices even though my own school recommended them.</p>
<p>They're all, in most cases, light years better than what many families have available at home. </p>
<p>Be well my friends. I expect I will see great things happening in the world from all of you in the future - regardless of the BS outcome. It's only one piece of your entire life puzzle - and maybe not the most important one after all.........Hugs, Exie</p>
<p>Thank you! Crying while I am reading this. My daughter was waitlisted at her dad’s aa mater, denied at Hotchkiss and still waiting for Deerfield ( but not hopeful any longer). DD is feeling quite low. I am going to copy your post and givenit to her!</p>
<p>The biggest earthquake in Japan…I was really worried yesterday but I dont care about the BS result anymore. I actually wanted my daughter to stay home as long as she can be. No matter she can get to BS or not. She is still my perfect girl…</p>
<p>Nice post Exie:</p>
<p>I remember 5 years ago what the rejection was like at our house. Our son, took it upon himself to call the DOA at his first choice school and ask for a sit down meeting about his app. To his credit, the guy returned his phone call within 5 minutes, made an appointment and met with son for a good 45 minutes. He then came and spoke with me and gave very candid comments on what led to their decision. In the end, son reapplied the next year and there was never any doubt from the interview on that he would be admitted. In retrospect, the decision on the part of the school to have him wait a year and then encouraging him to “Refresh” was a great one. His academic experience has been stellar and now that he is graduating I can look back and say that it all made sense. I think the initial rejection was handled poorly be me as a parent… and my feelings probably made my son feel even worse if that makes any sense. He moved on quickly, but I held on to a lot of resentment for quite some time. Suffice it to say, I was able to carry that experience and learning more easily into the college admissions process this fall and winter. Somehow or another it all seems to work out in the end!</p>
<p>I am one of those people who lurk on this site without participating in the discussions. For the past two years I have marvelled at the thoughtfulnes, kindness, and helpfulnes of so many who post regularly on this site, both adult and students, and Exie is definitely one of them. Thank you to all the regular posters you have taught me so much, and my thoughts go out to those whose day yesterday did not go as they had hoped.</p>
<p>Exie
That was a wonderful insight, and I hope some consolation to those who did NOT get in. I agree that there is a LOT of nonsense spouted about TOP schools vs rest. Your words of wisdom should be seen by ALL!
PS My daughter was admitted second form (8th grade) to Groton- she is VERY aware that she was extremely fortunate</p>
<p>I had been offered admission, and although not my top choice school, I am satisfied. There’s no point in complaining anymore. I was upset for the majority of my morning, but ever since I’ve been seeing news and footages of a country literally being ripped apart, I couldn’t care less anymore. There’s much more to life outside boarding schools. Some may not realize it now but will do so eventually. Try to keep a positive outlook on life and everything will work out nicely in the end.</p>
<p>I have plenty of friends and relatives living/studying in Japansome I haven’t heard from. My mother has returned home from Japan only two days ago, and I’m very grateful for that. Thoughts go out to all those with families and friends affected by this terrible disaster.</p>
<p>Very true. My daughter lived with a host family in Japan. Not near the water, but we’re not able to get through to determine if they were affected by the earthquake. And before I left the house this afternoon, four trains were missing. Apparently Japan had very little warning to evacuate people. Puts things in perspective. </p>
<p>We’re all great people, and for some reason, today - fate gave us one more day to make a difference in our lives. Many in Japan were not so lucky.</p>
<p>Very well stated Exie. We are realizing more and more how lucky (and I use that word literally) we were to be student B, and not the equally competent student A, yesterday. </p>
<p>As another long time lurker, it’s time to acknowledge people like you, Neato, SevenDad, etc. for always keeping the conversations flowing and providing us lurkers with some great information, insight and humor through this boarding school admissions process. We thank you.</p>