Forcing a kid to go to a school

<p>Glad the OP had a nice talk with his daughter about college. That’s a great step. Hope the added potential travel, hotel costs have been added into the equation in the discussion so there is no confusion at the end. Is travel cost a concern,factor at all? Tulane(which you said is on her list) from Virginia,in particular, would most likely add expense tacked on . Kids want to come home for holidays, parents want to visit the school.These kinds of costs do add up quickly. Good luck to your daughter with her upcoming decisions!</p>

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<p>I agree with sevmom. I realize my D is OOS and competition is fierce (acceptance rate 20-24%); however, she had friends who got in to Cornell but not UVa. There were kids from her class that got in to Vandy but not UVa. I’ve heard that there are pockets of VA where super high-stat kids (ex: TJHSST/NOVA) are also often not admitted; hence, this anxiety could all be for nothing – she may not get accepted to UVa or W&M. Why don’t you put it on the back burner until her letters come in and then, if warranted, reiterate any financial restraints to her. (I do, though, agree with blueiguana and think you should let her ultimately decide. She will be the one attending not you. My parents didn’t give me the option and I still harbor a twinge of resentment 27 years later.)</p>

<p>I guess I see OP’s dilemma differently than some here. OP had 2 conditions. Student has known “all along” OOS was ok if major wasn’t available in state(which hasn’t come into play). The one in question is- if OOS costs are comparable to instate. Op has told us that Clemson is 5-7k more per yr than in-state. Does the OP define 5-7k as comparable? Or is it far too high? Would 4k be comparable?3k?1k? How does one define “comparable”?
If OP doesn’t think Clemson as good as closer alternatives, too bad. Should have told that to student “all along”, that Op could choose, regardless of price.</p>

<p>To me this is relatively simple. OP can point out advantages to in-state. But if student picks OOS, then pay what he promised for in-state, maybe a smidge more, since OP used the word “comparable”, but then student pays any additional difference. Then OP maintains integrity, helps to teach it, and student still gets to pick. Everybody wins.</p>

<p>Update: She just got into UVA! I guess we have a few months to work everything out.</p>

<p>Congratulations! If she goes to Days on the Lawn on a beautiful April day ,she may just forget all about Clemson . Good luck with the decision. She’ll have some excellent choices.</p>

<p>Congrats!!</p>

<p>Congrats.</p>

<p>BTW: Regarding the OP’s D’s perceptions that UVA and W & M are impossibly hard…she’s psyching herself out unnecessarily. While neither school is a slacker’s paradise…even for smart kids…if you put in the work…you should be able to graduate in respectable standing. </p>

<p>No one I’ve known who went to UVA or W & M…even kids who attended a regular zoned NYC high school had problems doing respectably or better and graduating from those two fine institutions.</p>

<p>UVA is a wonderful U. Have only heard very positive things about it. One of my friends’ D ONLY applied there EA/ED & got in. She graduated from there & found it a great school (her parents had met there). Congrats! Sounds like she’ll have some great places to choose among. ;)</p>

<p>Congratulations to your daughter.</p>

<p>UVa was my daughter’s second choice. She ended up at her first choice but would have been happy to go to UVa if it had turned out that way. And we don’t even live in Virginia.</p>

<p>However, I have also heard nice things about Clemson. </p>

<p>Your family faces a difficult decision, but at least it’s a decision between two good alternatives.</p>