Actually 280k a year assuming LA or SF and two kids in college at $140k really does not get you that far. Not trying to count OPs parents’ assets but taxes will take out 39% or more and then housing costs. If they have younger kids in private schools, good luck. If anything OP is in that perfect storm range, her parents make too much for FA (probably, possible with brother) but are not wealthy so this may impact them.
As far as no FA, if there is a material change in circumstance, you can get out of ED whether you applied for FA or not. It happens all the time. Sometimes it is something unpredictable. Usually the kid hoped to get merit money, did not get it or got way more merit money someplace else.
Is it gaming the system, absolutely. Is it illegal, no. I have never heard of a college enforcing an ED contract. Anyone?
I agree with the people who said just answer her question and stop judging.
Also, some schools really do make it a pain to decline. D had a lot of trouble last year with one of the privates, just declining. The portal did not work, the button she was supposed to push was not there. She was afraid she may accidentally have accepted. She emailed the school and they told her to go back to the portal (which still did not work). Finally emailed her rep and the school again and they said since they did not hear from her on May 1, she was automatically assumed not to be coming.