<p>I've always held the belief that one should be very formal and polite when corresponding with professors, administrators, potential bosses, and so forth just as a matter of practice--they have more education and more experience, after all. Accordingly, I try to proofread my emails well, use formal language, and thank them for their time. When I am asking something that seems out of the scope of their normal duties or particularly demanding, I make it a point to acknowledge that they are probably very busy with other things and apologize for encroaching on their valuable time.</p>
<p>Recently, I sent an email to a professor (actually, an advanced graduate student who taught the course independently) from fall term and wished her luck on her remaining doctoral work, told her how much I enjoyed her course and her general willingness to help, and asked a question about her field of study, just out of curosity. I'd emailed the professor one or two times with questions relating to the course content, always apologizing for any inconvenince, as I know the end of grad. school is purported to be quite soul-draining and knowing that she certainly had more important/pressing things to do than appease the curosity of former students. Whereas I was always expecting the professor to ignore me or bite my head off (rightfully so in both cases), she always said that she enjoyed hearing from me and enjoyed my general interest in the subject. Still, I knew I was asking for something above and beyond, so I apologized for taking up her time when she had so much else on her plate, par usual.</p>
<p>The professor sent me back a very warm and helpful email but also told me that I "just have to to stop apologizing" and told me again at the end of the email that she would be happy to answer any further questions, as long as I didn't apologize for asking them! I never thought that an instructor would tell me to be less polite! I always assumed that professors should be treated respectfully and that apologizing for asking for a favor was fair and necessary, especially after the course had ended.</p>
<p>So I'm left to wonder how formal should one be with professors?</p>
<p>Every instructor gets a mountain of email per class. A large part of the overhead in any course is reading and sending email. Short and simple and light on formalities wastes less of everyone's time.</p>
<p>If you enter the business world and are always apologizing for asking for information you will be discounted and marginalized. Being formal and polite does not mean always apologizing. As siserune indicated, short and simple is a polite email. Thanking them however is appropriate.</p>
<p>She is doing for you one of the most valuable things an admired professor or boss can do. Mentoring. She likes you; likes hearing from you; and wants to guide you.</p>
<p>Her advice to stop apologizing is well-taken. Heed it and appreciate that she would care enough to do this.</p>
<p>Now..... :). Don't go and apologize to her for having previously apologized too much ;). I know that might be your first impulse. Simply continue to correspond the way you have in the past, leaving out the extra apologies. If necessary, compose your emails at one time, leave them and go back and check before sending.</p>
<p>You are a gem, wolfpiper. But we all have little behaviors that we can eliminate/improve to our advantage.</p>
<p>She's done what is her prerogative to do--as she is in the higher rank, it is for her to set the standards for your interaction. Now that's she's done so, just relax and go with it.</p>
<p>As a professor I can tell you that your courtesy is surely appreciated; it is just the apologizing part that needs to be corrected. Your instructor is being compensated to do more than just interact with you during class. Therefore, Chedva's advice about expressing appreciation for time and courtesy is right on target. At the end of the semester, if a professor has gone the extra mile and responded in a time appropriate manner to out of class requests, a thank you is always appreciated. Your instincts are great and your TA is just helping you fine tune them before you enter the world beyond college.</p>
<p>It is an impediment to a relationship if someone is always apologizing to me, regardless of "rank," in whatever context. Be polite, period. If you somehow manage to overstep, it's my responsibility to either let you know or to let it slide. I can't expect you to read my mind, nor can anyone else. </p>
<p>Always apologizing gives (in my eyes) a craven, diminished quality to the person so doing. Not very attractive. And if I like the person it makes me annoyed with them and if I don't like the person it inclines me to like them even less.</p>
<p>If a question or request is truly borderline upon reflection, then prefacing the question/request with a "I hope it's not too presumptuous, but...." is fine...<em>once</em>. In so doing, you're inviting a demarcation of limits. Read the response and then act accordingly in the future.</p>
<p>When you apologize for "fluff", it requires the other person to expend mental energy and think up words to forgive you. Most people are a little too busy for that dynamic, so it annoys.</p>
<p>"Thank you for taking the time to read this" is polite.
"I apologize for asking this question" [that you are paid to answer] is groveling and is likely to cause irritation in the person who receives it.</p>
<p>One told us during orientation, some formality is good.
dont' use first name
use king's english, not slang and not abbreviations.
always sign the email.
make sure you are asking reasonable questions.
NOT: what do i need to know for this test?</p>
<p>Never apologize. That insinuates you have done something wrong.
They get PAID to teach and deal with students. My hub and I both taught at a Universities. Just say thanks.</p>