<p>I'm curious about how other parents feel about the Greek system? I don't have D's, only S's, and I must admit I don't have the most positive impression of frats, frat boys or frat houses and the movie Animal House, the definative take on the subject, certainly doesn't help. </p>
<p>I suppose, if you believe the propaganda, frats do charitable things as a way to make up for the other stuff and keep the charter, but it seems to me the primary purpose is to drink, live in a big house together and try to get as many chicks as possible. </p>
<p>Am I wrong? </p>
<p>I admit I don't have much first hand knowledge. </p>
<p>Most big public schools have thriving Greek systems. A huge minus in my book but since the public U's are so big and diverse my kids will have other options for social activities. I hope. I really do like schools that have a high percentage of students living on campus (what is the point of going to a commuter school?) and that actually focus EC activities and social events around the dorms and not the friends you had to pay for so that you'd have beer money and place to party. </p>
<p>Even though I am degrading frats I am honestly asking. What do other parents think? What do you know about frats and sororaties that is positive? Do you want your S or D to join? I am sure sororaties are much more positive than frats but enlighten me please.</p>
<p>There are tons of threads on this topic – everything that can be said on it has been said on it. Briefly, it’s different campus-by-campus so the question can only be asked in the context of a given campus culture. As a gross generalization, universities in the SEC and a few out west such as USC have a fairly brutal, competitive rush process, whereas other colleges and universities have a more hey-there’s-room-for-everyone rush process, but that is a very gross generalization.</p>
<p>I agree with Pizzagirl. It is different on different campuses and different frats/sororities.</p>
<p>I will tell you that I was against it. My son (freshman) decided to participate in Greek life. So far, it has been 100% positive for him, and I sincerely mean that. I am pleasantly very surprised by the wonderful experience that he has had. I believe that at some schools that you cannot even participate as a freshman, or at least not during the first semester. That was not the case for my son.</p>
<p>We had no sororities on my campus, but all the students lived in “houses” (versus dorms, though the distinction could be a fine one) and were encouraged to participate in the tight-knit community that formed within each house. To this day, the first thing alums ask me when we meet is what house I lived in, as house loyalty and friendships tend to run pretty deep. Houses hosted parties, did community service, and went on trips together. We arranged house events on school holidays and attended school functions in a house group. I really valued the sense of family and community that I got from my house, and I imagine that it’s that same wish for community that draws people to the Greek system. Of course, not everything is sunshine and rainbows all the time, and someting that’s intended to be positive can also sometimes turn into a negative or toxic experience. But overall, I think it’s natural for people to seek out communities to belong to, especially when they’re in a new situation. Whether that’s a formal organized community like a sorority, or something more informal depends on the indvidual.</p>
<p>But I hope to hear new and old opinions if people care to share. </p>
<p>It sounds like NE Mom’s son is the refutation of my impressions. He is getting something positive out of a frat. That’s important to hear. </p>
<p>It sounds like Smithie went to school at a place where the dorms were the center of the social scene, which is what I am hoping for when my S’s go. </p>
<p>I could be flat out wrong about frats as basically buy your friends and drink alot BS.</p>
<p>When my older brother went through college, him and a bunch of friends tried to pledge this one fraternity. After a bunch of grief and terrible experiences, they decided to leave the first fraternity and instead founded their own chapter. After graduating, he got his first job through fraternity connections. When he eventually went to law school, he also got involved in a law organization and got his first job out of school through them.</p>
<p>My experience with fraternities while in college was almost non-existent since at my undergrad they weren’t really the center of social life, although my friends that joined them were happy with their decisions. At my current grad school there are no fraternities, though I would argue from what I’ve seen of the undergrad houses/dorms they share a lot of similar characteristics.</p>
<p>Again, ACCecil, the question cannot be answered without referring to the specific campus that your son(s) will be attending. Because the answer could very well be … “At College A, it’s a great thing and fraternity life contributes positively … whereas at College B, stay the heck away!” </p>
<p>It’s like saying “What are students like at college?” Well, are you talking Party-On Nonselective State U that lets anybody with a pulse in, or are you talking about MIT and Caltech?</p>
<p>I understand that Pizzagirl. But the question can be answered from multiple perspectives just like any other question can. And isn’t that why this board is here? </p>
<p>Do you mind if other people share their perspectvies on frats? Thanks!</p>
<p>My daughter is in a sorority. I was not thrilled at first and Rush (on both sides) was brutal. However, she loves it and it has been very positive. She lives in the house which is actually much cheaper than when she lived in the dorms or if she were to live in an apartment. She was very active in high school (sports and ASB) and this is a way to be active in college.</p>
<p>Once you read some of the arguments that this and other threads has cause, you may understand why pizzagirl is hesitant to jump into this conversation again. You will see her posts, and mine from the perspective of our experiences with Greek life. You will also see posts from those who oppose it completely. It is a topic that can get nasty, not unlike threads in the parents cafe politics threads. So, please understand that pizzagirl was not trying to silence the debate, but merely wanted to avoid rehashing the same arguments with the usual suspects. </p>
<p>I have been active in Greek life for 20+ years now as an active, alum and chapter advisor of a sorority. I am now a mother of a hs junior that is only looking at schools with Greek life (though not the Big Ten experience that I had). I see a lot of value in the fraternity system. It provides opportunity for leadership, friendship, community service, intramural sports, and positive peer pressure to be active on a college campus. Most Presidents were in the Greek system and the networking that can occur can help later in life. </p>
<p>Fraternities are not perfect. There are houses on individual campuses that make Animal House look tame, and there are schools with reputations for a**hole “frat boys”. But Greek membership is on the rise again and the national offices are working harder to keep the houses in line in a litigious society. </p>
<p>Those interested will really need to check out the scene on the individual campuses. For instance, I wouldn’t recommend my son join most fraternities at the campus that I attended because of the emphasis on drinking at most houses on campus. I would support his decision at his top 3 schools. </p>
<p>FYI, it is really offensive to keep calling them frats. It is fraternity.</p>
<p>Just cross posted with pizagirl. (great minds do think alike)</p>
<p>I glossed over the comment about buying your friends before, but I had to comment on that. The money is dues to the organization that allows you to throw parties and group activities, get support from the national organization and help in house upkeep. I also paid to participate in most clubs at my school. I wasn’t buying friends when I paid dues to the French Club or did fundraising for the Thespian society. As an adult, I pay dues to the Junior League, Kiwannis, Toastmasters and to my alumni association. There is no difference. I am not denying that there are expenses, but on some campuses the cost of living in a Greek house (including dues) is cheaper than a dorm.</p>
<p>Thanks Pizzagirl for the link. I will read the rest of it on my lunch break. I know it is annoying to repeat what one posted on a previosu thread. I’ll check out the previous thread myself and maybe the answer is “it depends.” </p>
<p>I like hearing WHY people’s S or D liked the greek system. Again, my image of greeks is people that buy their friends and pool their money to buy beer and binge drink it while trying to get laid. Am I small minded? Okay, whatever. </p>
<p>That doesn’t mean I am wrong. </p>
<p>It turns out I might need to refine my thinking. Maybe. I’ll read the thread. By the way, I am not sure how what I described above prepares people for Real Life but who knows.</p>
<p>Northeastmom-it comes off as derogatory to most fraternity members. It is like calling San Francisco “Frisco”. I think it becomes more offensive because it is generally the term used by those who are not part of the greek system or when it is used to parody the worst of greek life like fratting hard.</p>
<p>Right, and you will find all that on the old threads. And also new and old opinions. You keep suggesting you will get something more from starting the same thread over again when really this has been done to death quite recently and many times over.</p>
<p>Next up on the parent forum, do you really think the Ivies are better than the non-Ivies? :)</p>
<p>ACCecil - even if the prime objective of the house is to pool their money to drink beer, the house still has to be run. The group elects house managers to rally the pledges for cleaning duties, the treasurer must have an accurate accounting of the funds and make sure the lights stay on and the bills get paid. The head of recruitment uses his marketing and persuasion skills to pull off a successful rush (usually the hardest job). All active members must interview new members. Philanthropy chairs need to coordinate with non-profits, wrangle said beer-drinking members to show up sober and perform said community service. The president has to oversee all like a CEO and the IFC representative acts as a council member so that this particular group of beer-drinking cavemen have a positive image on campus. Add to that the pledge educator who must teach new recruits the history of the chapter, the organization, make them memorize enough material in 6 weeks (like an extra class with no credit) to be found ready to represent these beer-drinking people for a lifetime, and you can see that even the worst slackers have more real world experience than the person who hangs with his dorm buddies and does his drinking in a random apartment party. For an independent student to have the same leadership opportunities, he at least has to join a club. At many campuses the fraternities insist on participation in at least one extra curricular activity, so the group forces him to be even more active.</p>
<p>Cecil, I noticed you have a more recent join date. Don’t pay too much attention to the people who have been on here for a long time acting as if you should “know” or “have read” other threads. What you are looking for, right now, I assume is a conversation, not a book. Hence, “chat board.” Others might feel free to ignore threads they are bored of, in my opinion. </p>
<p>My daughter joined a sorrority her freshman year, and thought it was fun, if somewhat time consuming. This year, she hasn’t been all that involved (she’s a sophomore), and thinks it’s fine for what it is, but she is too busy with other things to make it much of a priority. She thinks its relatively boring, but she has some good friends out of the experience. She plans to live with girls who are not in the greek system at all next year when she returns from her study abroad.</p>
<p>My sense is that the greek system can either be a nightmare, a nice addition, or unimportant, depending on the campus, the kid, and the year they are in school. I think older students tend to drift away. YMMV</p>
<p>Well said. You make some good points. And you did so without attacking me because I said fraternity men might enjoy drinking. Good work. </p>
<p>The other thread linked from this thread is good stuff! </p>
<p>I’m at the part where one parent says that F’s and S’s exclude certain folks such as people who are weight challenged. She says she is quite certain this happens. So then a few other people are now attacking her opinion. </p>
<p>Is this supposed to be this funny? </p>
<p>Sorry, but yeah F’s and S’s are exclusionary groups and if you are weight challenged you will have trouble getting into certain S’s for sure.</p>