<p>Have you seen this one?</p>
<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/291483-update-what-i-learned-about-free-ride-scholarships.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/291483-update-what-i-learned-about-free-ride-scholarships.html</a></p>
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<p>For those who believe that their obligation ends with a bachelor’s degree, the rationale is usually “When you graduate from college, you become an adult. It is no longer appropriate for your parents to be supporting you financially.” This has nothing to do with the amount of money spent on undergraduate education.</p>
<p>I do not agree with this philosophy, but there are those who do. My husband is one of them. He thinks it is detrimental to a young adult’s development if the young adult receives any financial help from his or her parents after graduating from college.</p>
<p>My son–NMF, great scores–was offered full rides by several schools, starting in tenth grade when he started winning state-level competitions. He took none of them and went to MIT without one dime of aid. He never considered any of the other schools. Why not? Well, he–and we–felt that MIT was unique in its offerings, especially in his areas of interest. I think it was a great investment.</p>
<p>Parker. Some people have or can come by $200,000 much easier than others. Do not let anyone elses situation guilt you into thinking you need to pay big money for your smart kid to get a great education and college experience. Do what is best for your family.</p>
<p>not meant as a knock on dmd</p>
<p>marian…>>> I do not agree with this philosophy, but there are those who do. My husband is one of them. He thinks it is detrimental to a young adult’s development if the young adult receives any financial help from his or her parents after graduating from college. <<<</p>
<p>While I agree that adult children need to be self-supporting (there are crazy parents who pay their 20-something kids’ credit card bills), I disagree with the BS limit in regards to education, if the kid carefully went cheaply for undergrad. </p>
<p>For one thing, stopping the $$ at undergrad doesn’t encourage a kid to be thrifty during undergrad years. Why be thrifty if the cash cow will end at BS? Why not spend every cent possible since the checkbook will be closing soon?</p>
<p>This reminds me of when brother got married 15 years ago. The bride’s parents said…here’s 25k…spend it how you wish…cheap wedding/down payment on a home OR nicer wedding. Bro and SIL decided to have a very economical (but nice) wedding and put the rest towards the down payment of a home. My bro and his wife are very financially independent and are very good savers. I think the same logic applies with college payment help.</p>
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<p>This is exactly the attitude I would expect a student to have in this situation, yes.</p>
<p>A very bright NMF we know well was given 200K by grandparents to be used for college. Her parents said she could go to state school and bank any remainder, take a full ride and keep it all, or indeed pay for any school she wished. She turned down ivies (never applied for FinAid, non offered), turned down UCB instate, and chose U Chicago which in many ways was such a perfect fit. She was a straight A student there, but by her second year she came to decide that she could actually manage to graduate in 3 years. She loved U Chicago–but she realized she could save over $50,000. It felt like her own money because it was.</p>
<p>^^^</p>
<p>That’s what I mean… If parents are going to budget X amount for undergrad for each child, the money should be like a trust fund. If he’s economical during undergrad years, he can use the balance for grad school or down payment for a house.</p>
<p>Parents who oppose such an idea are just being short-sighted.</p>
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That’s what we did, and our child chose the free-ride school.</p>
<h2>Parker (the OP) >>></h2>
<p>Assuming my daughter makes NMS Finalist (and we believe she will) a couple of schools have already told us that they will offer her a free ride - tuition, room and board, etc. We have friends who accepted this offer last year and their student is banking money.</p>
<p>One of the schools is on my daughter’s list, but it’s not her first choice. Her first choice offers some NMS money, but not much.</p>
<p>My wife and I are in a bit of a disagreement on this.</p>
<p>My wife feels that our daughter should go to the school offering her the best finances (even if its not her first choice), then use the money we set aside for graduate school. And we’ll have money available for her to do things like summer research and international studies if she desires.</p>
<p>I think my daughter should go wherever she will feel the most at home for the next 4 years and her first choice is a really good school. Clearly better than the one offering the large scholarship. Doing this will use the savings we set aside for college. But then she’ll (we’ll?) have to figure out how to pay for graduate school.</p>
<p>Are there other things we should be considering?
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<p>I don’t recall whether you’ve stated whether you can easily afford the $220+k for your DD’s undergrad? </p>
<p>Also, do you have other kids to put thru college? Are you willing to spend the same on them? (If not, I’d advise that you rethink your position. No sibling wants to be given the message that the family money is going to be mostly spent on “smart sissy’s” education.)</p>
<p>If your D will likely need financial help for grad school or professional school, does paying “full freight” for undergrad preclude your helping with those costs?</p>
<p>Our family will not qualify for financial aid, and unless something changes, we will be able to afford to send our children to the schools of their choice. What H and I have decided is that any money we save due to merit scholarships will be put aside and eventually given (after graduation) to the child that earns the merit scholarship. This means it is her own money that she’s spending if she chooses the non-merit scholarship school.</p>
<p>^ That’s a sensible plan, and in that case, I would leave it up to your D to decide. Point out the benefits of saving the money for post-graduation, but don’t “push.”</p>
<p>we do not qualify for financial aid…however, we failed to factor in that our state flagship college has (some) graduate schools that require submission of the parents’ FAFSA till the son or daughter is age 28!!! Seriously…we are stupified by this, although we understand that they don’t want to underwrite the graduate tuition of people from wealth. Also my husband’s law school alma mater requires this now…news to us!</p>
<p>Everyone should take a sharp look see at this issue. </p>
<p>the average debt for a graduating law student at my husband’s alma mater is now 150 grand…that is not actually viable in the market of salaries and entry level jobs out there today for most. We borrowed 10 grand for the same outcome, and of course my spouse also worked 20 hours a week for pay most of law school. We certainly expect our sons to shoulder graduate school burdens but get real…things have changed in a major recession re recouping this depending on your profession.</p>
<p>Be realistic about the costs of grad school folks! (we weren’t)…some states have more viable options than others for professional post grad educations. Also, keep in mind that hard core science students from excellent undergrad institutions may have their grad school paths underwritten on research grants but ask about recent grads where you visit…this is all competitive. These pathways require your son or daughter to be a stand out in undergrad. If your child wants an expensive graduate education, take the long view. It might be more likely to get undergrad years on merit than the next chapter for most. </p>
<p>we couldn’t help our son who went to a top private college for grad school now even if we wanted to do so. And we had great state schools. the story is out re regrets…we shall see.</p>
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<p>Thanks for sharing…the more we all learn now, the fewer surprises later!</p>
<p>I’ve learned that some med schools have set the age at 30!!! I wonder if this is because there are many med students who are the children of highly paid professionals, doctors, lawyers, etc. I guess with limited F/A available, they want to target those from more modest income families. </p>
<p>How frustrating though…who expects to pay for their kid when they’re that old!!!</p>