<p>My weight has stayed the exact same throughout college, but I have gained some more unhealthy habits since I moved away to this university. </p>
<p>I’m working on reversing these habits. :)</p>
<p>I’ve actually probably had the opposite effect since starting school. Part of the problem for me was that my parents always did the shopping and cooking, so there wasn’t much say for me as to what I ate. Now that I’m “on my own”, I can make the choices I want to make, which are the healthier choices.</p>
<p>It’s alright to let loose every now and then. You don’t have to go on a diet of nothing but spinach, but just take into consideration what you’re consuming.</p>
<p>And I don’t mean to jump into the middle of a fight, but I think people are reading way too deep into momma-three’s post.</p>
<p>^agreed</p>
<p>I feel like I’m either going to lose or gain weight in college but not keep the same weight</p>
<p>It’s actually pretty easy to gain weight in college. Here’s my example:</p>
<p>As a freshman, I entered a relationship with the woman I now love and we both gained a little weight that neither of us minded on the other. Call it love, call it whatever, but both of us put on a little extra than we were accustomed to from our skinny HS complexions. Well, I never really lost this weight. Now, as an upper-level engineering major, with a research job, I rush around through my day chaotically from about 9am - 9pm. I don’t eat as healthy as I should because of time constraints, and I often don’t go to the gym because of time constraints or overall tiredness from rushing around. There are ways to cope with these constraints and still lose the added weight, such as diets, but I have yet gained the motivation to pursue such.</p>
<p>applicannot…you are over the top now and may want to consider putting a lid on it already. I suspect your over reaction to my being upset about a 20 pound wieght gain is more personal than subjective. If that is the case, than please understand that when a parent sees a 20 pound weight gain in the span of three months it is a signal that something is wrong. My daughter is a beautiful young woman and her 20 pound weight gain DID signify the problem that I suspected, and cried over.
When someone puts this type of weight on in a short period of time one of the first things that come to a parents mind is that their child is unhappy. The attack by applicannnot and a couple others maybe your own insecurity regarding your mood or weight but you should check it before attacking a parent who has posted on this thread with nothing but love and desire to see all of my kids happy. </p>
<p>As I said earlier, I hope your parents don’t need to walk on eggshells around you because that could make for some really difficult times when you are home from school.</p>
<p>I understand where momma-three is coming from. Assuming her daughter was healthy prior to the weight gain, gaining 20 lbs during 3 months is probably linked to drastic changes in eating/sleeping/exercise habits or could be linked to high levels of stress or health problems. If one of my friends or sisters gained 20lbs that quickly I wouldn’t cry about it but I’d be concerned that there’s an underlying issue. 20lbs is not that much for a tall/large male, but for a petite female it would be more significant.</p>
<p>No, it’s not something to flip out about, but most parents would be concerned.</p>
<p>i gained about 3-6lbs in college - not really a big deal. I think my body matured a bit too (boobs got bigger :)) which was nice. many women get a more “feminine” shape in their late teens/early twenties so i don’t think gaining a bit of weight during that time is unnatural</p>
<p>A minor weight gain or loss in college is normal while you are adjusting to being on your own for the first time. However, when the weight gain/loss is drastic, and out of character, it should send a signal to both the student and the parents that something is not right. I thank God that I had the forsight to recognize that there was a problem because my daughter was able to get the help she needed before her problems had more severe consequences. If this sounds like any of you than do not waste time in seeing a doctor either on campus or when you get home for break. There are often underlying reasons for any drastic weight gain/loss some of which include a medical problem or an emerging emotional problem. There are many people that just assume that their child is eating unhealthy food for the first time, and that could very well be, but if the weight comes on in a drastic and uncharacteristic way than let it signal the need to see your doctor or mental health professional. Don’t assume that your pounds are the result of drinking beer on the weekend.</p>
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<p>No, it’s just a testament to how disgustingly appearance-centered America is. If there are underlying problems fine, I just think it’s ridiculous for a parent to cry because their kid gained weight - that’s my opinion, and I stand by it. I have no idea what you mean by “walk on eggshells” but I certainly hope that if I lost or gained twenty pounds, my mother wouldn’t cry.</p>
<p>I would suggest that you speak to someone about your exteme sensitivity to weight and emotional issues. You have no idea what you are talking about. Parents cry when their children are in pain, and pain is often signaled by overt signs. That is why parents cry (not neccessarily in front of their child) when their children are in pain. If someone needs to give you exact details then they are walking on eggshells.</p>
<p>Walking on eggshells is an expression used by my generation. It means that a person needs to watch every word they say in your presence, for fear that you will get your feathers ruffled. Parents are not out to hurt their kids…we love them more than anything in the world. I would never want to watch my words in front of my kids the way you took off on the word “cry”. I cried when I watched my son cling to life when he was a little boy but I also cried when my daughter was suffering from mental illness. </p>
<p>Your statement about America being appearance-centered just says that you are struggling with this issue yourself. People your age do not generally take that view point unless they are sensitive. Again the key words here were not overweight daughter gained 20 pounds. It was petite small framed daughter gained 20 pounds in three months. You may not realize it but that IS A PROBLEM. Do yourself a favor and rethink why you were so hostile regarding this post.</p>
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<p>I would actually say the same to you. You were so sensitive to your daughter’s weight gain that you cried. If there are other problems, as I said, then fine. I just think it’s a shame that your daughter has a mother who can’t stand 20 pounds - even an unhealthy twenty points. The underlying problems are fine to be upset about. It’s the weight issue (which you brought up long before the underlying problem) that bothers me. Not to mention that you may not have even noticed your daughter’s mental and emotional issues until there was a physical manifestation of them.</p>
<p>You said you cried when you saw that your daughter had gained twenty pounds. Turns out there were emotional issues. What if there weren’t? What if she were happy and overweight? How would you explain your “tears” and “pain” then?</p>
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<p>Actually, people my age generally do not bring up the issue because they don’t notice it or are in the midst of it. You’re right - people my age generally don’t look at the issue that way. But that doesn’t mean that “people my age” have it right. You don’t think that oversexualization and unrealistic physical manifestations aren’t a problem? America has so many problems with appearances. Take magazine covers for instance - think of all the airbrushing and photoshopping that goes on, and yet children and teens (the “people my age” I suppose) are aiming for that kind of look. On the other end of the spectrum, women who are overweight are considered “real women” (i.e., when you see plus-sized models talked about), when it’s silly to think skinny women - even supermodel ideals - aren’t “real women.”</p>
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<p>That doesn’t make any sense. Both weight gains would be equally bad; I wouldn’t consider either one worth crying over.</p>
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<p>I’m “hostile” because I think the issue here is ridiculous. Worry about your daughter’s mental health; god forbid you cry over her appearance. Do you know who Robert Ebert is? He has had many surgeries for a difficult cancer issue. The bottom of his jaw was completely removed and as a result, his face is deformed. Esquire magazine ran a picture of Ebert after his surgery. Many people criticized Esquire for doing that, or even criticized Ebert for allowing the photograph to be ran. Maybe his mother would have “cried” to see her son like that. But guess what? That’s the face of a fighter and a survivor. </p>
<p>Ask yourself something. Your daughter has lost the weight. Are you happier that she’s lost the weight, or that she’s taking care of her issues? Think very carefully. I sure hope it’s the latter.</p>
<p>Okay, so now we get to the real root of the issue: “cry”.</p>
<p>Some people cry more than others. My mom cried when I got into college. She cried in the doctor’s office when I was dealing with medical issues. She cried when I graduated. She cried when she dropped me off at my dorm in the fall.</p>
<p>She also cried when my little sister lost 15 pounds during a summer at camp. It turned out that my sister was anorexic, and seeing my mom so upset was what finally made her see that she had a problem and needed to seek treatment.</p>
<p>Was my mother wrong for “crying over her appearance?” Think very carefully.</p>
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<p>If your mom recoiled at her daughter’s appearance, then yes, she was wrong. If your mother cried because she knew her daughter was anorexic, then by all means.</p>
<p>Delete post</p>
<p>EDIT: I see that momma-three has removed her remarks, and as a result, I have deleted the quote of her post from my own.</p>
<p>If being a child means I’m adamant about being body image positive (as well as pro-choice, sex positive, gay rights proactive, and a whole host of other social issues that catch my eye), then so be it. If I’m “stubborn” in a sense that I have a firm belief (body image positive) and I recoil when others toss it to the side, then I’ll be labeled it happily.</p>
<p>I’m not saying you have to agree with me. But there are few things that disgust me more than body-shaming (slut-shaming is one of them). I think that those people who are truly adult are the ones who refuse to discredit anyone merely because of their age.</p>
<p>I don’t understand why an adult with college-aged children is still arguing with people less than half her age. </p>
<p>It’s kind of ironic that you keep calling applicannot a child, yet are exhibiting immature behavior yourself. I can’t speak for everyone but my parents wouldn’t even bother to entertain this. </p>
<p>That’s not to imply that I’m mature, (I’m certainly not - far from it, actually - and will be the first to say so), however, I’m also not a middle-aged adult who is arguing with people her own daughter’s age; which is the equivalent of me getting into with an 8 year old. To moderately contradict my earlier post, not every battle is worth the fight. Sometimes you need to just let it go.</p>
<p>“slut shaming” ??? What is that?</p>
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<p>Slut shaming is when you call or imply that a woman is a slut because of her personal life, either sexual or merely romantic.</p>
<p>For example, a friend of mine (M) recently had a sexual experience with a man. The relationship didn’t work out as plan. Her friend, B, who is in a long-term monogamous relationship, called M a slut because of the experience, even though the experience was enjoyable and consensual within a monogamous, happy (albeit very short) relationship. That’s “slut shaming.”</p>
<p>This is a pretty good description of slut-shaming.
[Ubuntucat</a> Blog Archive Why do women slut-shame?](<a href=“http://www.psychocats.net/ubuntucat/why-do-women-slut-shame/]Ubuntucat”>Why do women slut-shame? – Ubuntucat)</p>
<p>wow, this turned pretty heated…</p>
<p>“If your mom recoiled at her daughter’s appearance, then yes, she was wrong. If your mother cried because she knew her daughter was anorexic, then by all means.”</p>
<p>couldn’t appearance be an indication of an underlying problem?? i think that’s what it pretty much boils down to, &, honestly, i think you’re both saying the same thing, lol.</p>
<p>lol @ America being ridiculously appearance centered. Have you ever traveled any where else?</p>
<p>People in America are obese, poorly groomed and dress like garbage. Obesity, in particular, leads to all sorts of problems, from depression to diabetes and its bankrupting our medical system. </p>
<p>I don’t understand why there’s all this emphasis on making money and over consuming in the states and little emphasis on being in shape and having a healthy sex life. People in France and Italy seemed to have this figured out better.</p>
<p>We should all move to Europe then.</p>