<p>^^^ Poor OP. I hope she can sift through the debate to find what she was seeking.</p>
<p>It does seem as thuogh there are two separate iseus here. One is that an architecture program is very demanding and can make first-year students feel sad, friendless, and overly pressured. The other is that no matter where the student goes to school and no matter what the academic field, sometimes college life doesn't start out as well as students (and their parents) hope it will. The first people you meet aren't always nice, or even if very nice may not be really compatible; there can be roommate issues, drinker versus nondrinker issues, any number of things. Some schools do a great job helping new students settle in; others may be less effective in creating various types of social mixers (and I use that in an extended sense, not just referring to the dances our generation went to). Not all kids are equally social adept, so there are endless permutations; one first-year's great orientation week may be another's forced march.</p>
<p>So if the OP and another poster who followed her pretty quickly are still searching, the anwer probably is, freshman blues are not abnormal but they are unfortunate. The extent and length vary, and each first-year needs to figure out ways to make college life work. If all else fails, tranferring is a possible solution, as is switching to a less demanding or more comfortable field of study. But it is better not to plan on transferring until you are fairly sure that the issue will be resolved by a change of scene, and it makes sense to explore as many opportunities, social and otherwise, at your first school before you give up on it.</p>
<p>And although I find the architecture discussion interesting, I think it belongs on another thread, since the issue of freshman blues may not be related only to the demands of the architecture program, and can be more generalized. The OP mentioned other factors that might have contributed to her daughter's feeling of isolation.</p>
<p>The OP wisely moved to PM after the first couple of posts. </p>
<p>The BArch is a professional program. I am not sure it is wise to post specifics about a professional in the making. It's one thing to be freckly becky at UMich, another thing to be the architect with the blues. A label from CC could be quite damaging to a professional career.</p>
<p>I think that transferring for the spring semester would be too soon, but I DON'T think that it's too early to think of transferring period. You really have to evaluate whether a school is the right place for you. i know I'm thinking about transferring for Fall 2006.</p>
<p>I found this on Amazon:</p>
<p>Below is a list of books to help both you and your son or daughter make it through the first year of college.</p>
<p>Two great manuals for any student going away to college are 'Where's Mom Now That I Need Her: Surviving Away from Home' and 'Where's Dad Now That I Need Him'. The first is part cookbook, part survival manual: it contains recipes that can easily be made in most college dorms as well as tips on laundry, first aid, and what to do if you get sick. The second book covers topics that more commonly fall to dad, including money management, home and car maintenance, job tips, and even some recipes for favorite dad-type foods such as chili.</p>
<p>What to Do When Problems Arise...
Despite your best efforts, you son or daughter still may find him or herself struggling during the first year of college. A good general advice book is 'Been There, Should've Done That II : More Tips for Making the Most of College', which contains tips from real college students covering all aspects of college life. One of the best books addressing a wide range of college student concerns is 'Beating the College Blues'. This book is arranged in a question and answer format, and it covers everything from fitting in, studying, and falling in love to dealing with family and coping with anxiety and depression. Stress is generally considered to be part of college, but it doesn't have to be a problem: 'The Relaxation & Stress Reduction Workbook' is an excellent choice for teaching stress management strategies. Each chapter of the book thoroughly describes a different technique, and the self-test at the start of the book provides personal recommendations for which chapters the reader is likely to find most effective.</p>
<p>Parents can often have just as much trouble with the adjustment process as the students themselves. Therefore, be sure to read 'Letting Go: A Parents' Guide to Understanding the College Years, Third Edition', which is bound to be helpful to both you and your student. Finally, I think that 'College of the Overwhelmed : The Campus Mental Health Crisis and What to Do About It' is a must-read to provide parents with a better understanding of mental health issues on campus. </p>
<p>Hope others find this helpful.</p>
<p>I am currently a frosh at the University of Rochester and while there are times that the workload is horrendous, I make sure that I leave time for some social life. Knowing I already had a pretty bad social life in high school, I came to college eager to change this. So I started to become very social... I knew that if I wasn't social, I would perform worse in my classes than if I was social and studied just a little less because I was social because of the fact that I would not be happy and that in turn affects your performance on exams, etc.</p>
<p>I think you guys are overdoing this freshman blues thing. I am a freshman and fall into your blues category only that I am not unhappy and guilty about it. What everyone must understand is that everyone got their own life at college. Its like living in 110 story New-york appartment where you don't know your neighbors but you also dont give a damn about them. Same. Don't give a damn about anyone. I am in this college for 7 weeks and I don't know half of my dormies(we are 20 in the dorm). I don't even know where my roommate is from. What the doughter of 2girlsmom should do is that not to feel guilty for lonelyness and not to seek assurance on peer group. Seeking assurance in a peer group at college can be disastrous because college is not high school. U gotta be socially indipendent, do your work, and and don't care abt anything else. Its Ok not to have any friends in college. I still don't know anyone to say hi.</p>
<p>You know how your grades in high school can somewhat predict your grades in college? Same with your study habits? </p>
<p>I think it's the same way with your social habits/skills. If you focus on schoolwork, schoolwork, and schoolwork during high school, what do you think you're going to focus on during college? Schoolwork? Probably. </p>
<p>To the people who are worried about this and still in high school: Take a break from your studying every now and then, a 97% isn't going to kill you, and relax, hang out with people from your classes etc...This is just as important in the long run.</p>
<p>And plus, when the job interview time comes, do you think a 4.0+++ Sigma Cum Laude Magnus Perfectus Gradus student who fidgets, doesn't look the interviewer in the eye, etc., will get hired over a 3.6er from the same school, who is involved in clubs, has contacts in his/her field, and is confident and easygoing?</p>
<p>Most likely, if ur son doesn't have friends, its probably because he is ugly and/or really annoying. That's how it usually works. College is all about popularity and if ur not good-looking, you will either have ugly friends or none at all.</p>
<p>Finally...a level of debate worthy of the banner advert.</p>
<p>For the OP...I just want to say that I was thinking of your D this weekend at one point. I just got back from parent weekend at my freshman D's college but my soph D (the one pursuing the pre-architecture undergraduate degree) joined us at the other D's college as it was also her parent weekend and we could only go to one. As I mentioned in another post, my daughter is taking a studio course at RISD which is comprised of second year BArch students and first year MArch students. She is putting in long hours at the studio to work on her project assignments. She was telling me that she is getting to know her studio mates at RISD and how the other night (the night before an assignment was due in studio the next day), while holed up in studio for a LONG time, she invited the RISD kids to take a little break with her late in the evening to go hear an a capella group "sing" under an archway at Brown up the road and they came with her and then all went back to the studio into the late hours. It made me think of your D because this was exactly what I was suggesting she might want to try. While my D is a soph, she is NEW to RISD so did not know any of the RISD undergrad or grad students until now and through studio. But when you spend hours together in studio, you get to know one another and a kid can just take a little initiative to make the first move and suggest a little break....maybe Starbucks, anything. That was what I was trying to discuss in my initial responses to you.....that your D might make a move to ask someone in studio to go out for a break, a meal, a Friday night movie. The kids in studio tend to bond with all the long hours spent together. While it is rigorous (as is my D's regular classes at Brown), kids still need to build in breaks. This is what I would encourage her to do. </p>
<p>I also want to thank Dizzymom for sharing those resources!!</p>
<p>I also want to thank SRMom3 because she also is sharing the points that I was trying to make. MANY in the MArch programs are coming out of pre-architecture BA degrees....thus they have already done many architecture courses, including studio. This is NOT akin to the BArch professional degree as it is a liberal arts degree, BUT it DOES include architecture foundation. Just the ONE course my D is doing now is WITH BArch and MArch students, as one example. In many professions, a solid undergraduate degree to become a person with a broad knowledge base who has thinking and writing skills, etc. bodes well as they then enter their professional graduate training. Along with that educational foundation, they also study/major in architecture, enough to have a basis to go on and undertake the professional training. That is what the 4+2 option is about. I'd like to think that all those MArch students (the majority of whom did not first obtain a BArch degree) will make it as architects. So, this is not the same as the analogy with an English major trying to get work as a journalist. The pre-architecture majors with a BA do NOT become an architect. They must go get a professional MArch degree to do so. It is just that they did a 4+2 path to get there, opting for a broader education with architecture courses/major as undergrad and the professional training as a graduate student. This is simply an explanation of the options. It is not a BETTER path. Just an explanation that these pre-architecture undergrads DO also take architecture courses, and are not entering the MARch programs starting from scratch as was implied in some other posts. </p>
<p>Susan</p>
<p>Thanks for all of the suggestions and support - Dizzymom, the recommendations on books to read sound great, and I will be looking into those. </p>
<p>The suggestions to "make" breaks is also a good one - talked to her Friday evening, and she was going to go to a movie with another girl in the architecture school, in spite of having tons of work to do - I encouraged her to go and have a good time - it's a start! I'm hoping that as she gets to know people more, she will feel more comfortable with suggesting a "Starbucks Break" or something along those lines. </p>
<p>Transferring has not been mentioned by my dd as she absolutely loves the school she is at, and in spite of the workload, is really enjoying the "hands on" aspect of architecture school. </p>
<p>I'm hoping that its not as bad as I may have interpreted it to be - most of the time when I talk to her, she sounds happy. </p>
<p>I now know that mine is not the only one struggling - for many the transition seems to be smooth, but it is a major life change and very overwhelming - hopefully for these kids the bumps in the road will get smaller and smaller. </p>
<p>To others with struggling fledglings - good luck to you and yours!</p>
<p>Well I'm a bit older then most of the other students here (I transfered from a CC last year to UCLA) however since I decided to live on campus, I'm getting a taste of the freshmen experence. I would have to say that forcing yourself to take breaks regardless of the workload is important. I'm a history major, so I don't have much homework, but in any given week I can have over a thousand pages of reading to do. While I know it's not exactly hands on, it still eats up the majority of my time. However despite having a ton of reading this weekend, I simply took Friday night off. I did nothing related to studying. In fact some other people who decided that we had all earned a break ended up coming down and we all basically sat around watching TV and talking.</p>
<p>While I honestly could have really used that time to do work, I'm glad I took the night off. Sometimes you really do just need a break.</p>
<p>Also prashant, while I agree that you have to be able to be much more independent and it's a good thing that you survive on your own, don't you get lonely? I generally like to keep to myself more then a lot of people, but having no friends would be terrible. I think you have to have people out there who will support you, and likewise can depend on you for support.</p>
<p>College is no place to get lonely. Its place to work. But if you feel too lonely then, just go to pool hall/ tennis court and pick a game or do something. Or go to gym. Or if you are unatheletic type get an on-campus job over your free time so that your thoughts won't devour you. If you start eating yourself out because no one talks to you, then college life can be miserable. No one is here to talk to you. Its no place for high-schooly 4 hour chat with friends over popcorn. Everyone got their own work. Yes it can be hard for people who are used to large peer gruop in their high school. But this is the thing "adjusting" means.</p>
<p>Most of the American adults are single and also lonely. College is first step into Adulthood. So savor your independence and freedom and lonelyness that comes with it.</p>
<p>Large parties every weekend with intimate friends in college is just a piece of semi -urban legend. Don't try to turn it into reality. You will eat yourself out.</p>
<p>I am not saying that you be antisocial. Sure, help other people. Pick up a conversation. But its also good to concentrte over your academics than chatty/baccanalian "socialization."</p>
<p>prashant...word please.</p>
<p>College is exactly the place for a four hour intellectual conversation. In fact, if you don't learn how to speak to intellectual matters in college, you may never do so.</p>
<p>There are decades upon decades of work in life. Forget more work. If you can't do it in eight hours, you probaly can't do it. Get out and explore the universe through conversation and questioning.</p>
<p>you do that in classes, don't you?</p>
<p>That's what college is all about. Being able to bring the classroom discussions OUTSIDE of the classroom. There is nothing wrong with that- college gives you the opportunity to speak your mind and your desires. Professors use the classroom discussions as foundations for your talks elsewhere, whoever it could be. Believe it or not, you will find yourself using what you've learned in a class to defend your ideas against someone else. It's all about application in the real world. </p>
<p>My class dean last year told me that I'd get a fine education anywhere and education just doesn't stop in the classroom. It's the campus life that is your professor 24/7 for four years. You learn so much more from your peers than in the classroom because everyone's from different places and has such wide variety of information to share that you'd be learning something that you would've never otherwise (because you just don't want to commit that much time to that particular topic...).</p>
<p>Being able to apply your skills and knowledge outside of the class prepares you as a good conversationalist when you graduate. Listen to your parents and their friends at a 90 minute dinner table. Could you have volunteered information as a sophomore in high school without them asking about your life, compared to now? See, that's what college does- help you to grow up and catch on the adult language!</p>
<p>I would disagree that being social is not part of the college experence. I'm not saying that you need to go to a huge party every weekend, but sometimes you need to get away from studying. There is absolutly no reason that you need to spend your college years adjusting to being lonely. I'd agree with you that people are here to work, that is the primary reaosn they go to college, however you can balance things out. While I might stay in my room reading for a good part of the day (as do most other people here) I always try to go to dinner and such with a big group of people, just to get away from the work for a little while.</p>
<p>An example of what Ticklemepink said: The other day I was in a group of friends and they were talking about the lady who got kicked off the airplane for wearing a offensive shirt. Well I'm taking a class right now specifically on this freedom, and was able to use things I had learned in that class to make a strong argument. As she said though, things will come up where you'll be able ot use classroom learning and apply it to your every day conversation.</p>
<p>Classes are for supervised conversation. The true high of an intellectual conversation is most often found outside of a a supervised environment, where the tangents of each person's ideas can be explored in any direction--without thought to performance or time--or censor <em>cough cough</em>.</p>
<p>I agree with those who feel that socialization is one of the main reasons for attending college. If you were only there to attend class and study, you could so that with Distance Learning or a correspondence course - and colleges could just select students based on SAT performance and GPAs - never mind worrying about finding students who will bring value to the campus.</p>
<p>Back to the topic of blues: it is interesting to read about students feeling like they want to transfer this early in the game. </p>
<p>My son's good friend told him (just days ago) that he will NOT be graduating from the small, top 10 LAC he is attending (he wants to transfer)- and his reasons were related to the way most of the other students are handling the freedom that comes along with the "honor code" at this school, where they can do whatever they want (this is the way my son told me the story, I don't know much about this honor code or what it entails - but I'm sure it wasn't meant to condone freshman drinking). </p>
<p>The freshmen at this LAC (not my son's school, though I'm sure his school is ponging too) seem to be "beer ponging" their way through the first semester and my son's friend is bored with it - but he's a kid who had lots of freedom and experiences before college - and many of these kids seem to have been sheltered and are now going crazy with their new found freedom and not doing much else in the way of social experiences.</p>
<p>I wonder if this is just something everyone needs to tolerate a little longer until the newness wears off AND I wonder if this is just one of a long list of adjustments that make the first semester difficult.</p>