Our S17 (international freshman) is scheduled to fly from Europe to Nebraska (via Chicago) in next August to begin his orientation and move-in day.
In that month he will still be a minor (17 y/o) and we are worried about any problems when traveling alone in the madness of long lines at customs at O’Hare.
Do you think it is advisable that we accompany one of the parents to be calm throughout the process?
I think it is nice if a parent can come, so you can see where your son will be living, meet his roommate, help him get set up. Most kids will have parents with them. Your son can almost certainly handle the travel and move in himself, but personally I think it is a nicer experience for everyone if parents are there.
If it is a hardship for the parents, then never mind. My own parents couldn’t afford to take me, so I flew cross country (changing at O’Hare!) at 17 myself.
I’ll second what @cinnamon1212 said.
You know your son best, should you choose not to accompany him, realize that many 13-year olds, including myself back in the day, made this trio for boarding school. The only complication, and even that’s not so critical, is not having a direct flight
I agree that it depends upon the maturity of the specific student (although I do believe that 13 is too young).
He is 17 y/o but quite absent-minded at times, that’s the reason why I don’t stay completely calm.
Of course it would be an incredible experience for us to travel and get to know the university, staff and colleagues.
If it is affordable, it would be good to join your son on the journey.
If unaffordable, contact the airline and let them know that he needs assistance finding his connecting flight after getting through customs at O’Hare Int’l.
A minor suggestion: Have your son wear a University of Nebraska sweatshirt during the journey.
If you can’t join your S on the trip, have him agree to contact you (text, quick call) at certain points during his trip (ex. when each flight boards, lands etc.). I would also find out in advance what (if any) transportation is needed to get him from the airport to campus.
Hope he has a wonderful experience.
I agree with other answers that it would be good if a parent could accompany the student, but it is probably not necessary.
I actually did this many decades ago, at the age of 17. However, the distances and travel costs were much lower. I was living in Montreal, and came down to Boston/Cambridge area to study. A parent did drive me (actually I am pretty sure that both parents drove me). However, the drive from Montreal to Boston is only about 5 hours, so they only had the cost of one or two nights in a hotel to deal with.
We had a daughter fly to South America for a few months of high school. She did this as an unaccompanied minor. Then we had two international students (one at a time) come and stay with us. Both arrived as unaccompanied minors. One had something wrong with his paperwork and had an issue at immigration when arriving in the US, but eventually was allowed in. In all three of these cases the student was in the middle of high school, so probably either 15 or 16.
When our daughter flew to South America we did have the airlines accompany her in the airports. Afterward she said that she was not impressed by the quality of the help that she received. She did get there however.
Unrelated to the flight, when your son receives his roommate assignment, it would be ideal if you could reach out to the roommate’s parent to let them know your son will be moving in on his own and to thank them in advance if they would be able to provide any assistance. He may need a ride to the store to buy personal items, or they may invite him for a meal or ? Just nice to let them know he will be in his own - same to let housing know and ideally they will tell his dorm resident advisor too.
What’s his preference?
Has he ever travelled by air - so that he’s generally familiar with the flow departure/arrival flow at any airport?
No matter if he’s normally “absent minded” while he knows you’re right there to have his back, he might show unexpected focus and maturity when he knows he’s finally on his own.
There will be hundreds of first-time flyers every day at the airport, security, connections, customs/immigration, arrival, baggage claim - and people everywhere accustomed to pointing him in the right direction. You can trust that airport and airline personnel have “seen it all”.
If he’d rather manage himself, let him!
As parents, him and you will get more out of a visit later in the first semester, if/when you start getting the impression that he feels a little out of place (very many first-years do at some point, before it suddenly “clicks”) and you REALLY wish THEN you could just jump on a plane and be there to give him a hug or lift his spirits.
O’Hare is a pain and I tried to avoid it during the years my son was flying back and forth from Tokyo to Ohio on his own, especially as the airport “people mover” was out of service (it’s OK now, I believe). But it’s certainly do-able if you book a flight with a long enough layover. There is a lot of information on the airport site, including maps, etc., so you can actually try to map out what he needs to do in Chicago in terms of picking up his luggage, going through customs and immigration, rechecking his luggage, moving from terminal to terminal if necessary, etc. I gave my son very detailed instructions the first few times he made the trip alone, down to a mockup of the customs and immigration forms for him to follow. Most of the airlines can be quite kind to a young traveler - one time, when his first flight was delayed, they actually shuttled him across the tarmac on one of those airport vehicles - so your son should know he can ask for help, starting with the flight attendants. (On the other hand, if you are able to go, you could walk him through the process this first time, and also get to see what his new life will be like.)
The first time my daughter had to make a connection on her own (she was 15) we found maps and YouTube videos of the Dallas airport which made her feel a lot more confident. She made it through with ease.
You have a year to practice. If you travel anywhere, have him lead the way. Which gate? What if the flight isn’t on the monitors? What if there is a change? How do you get through customs (or if not flying internationally, have him point out where the customs section is if possible). Most important, ASK if he can’t figure it out.
My daughter traveled on a school trip internationally when she was 16. She’d traveled many times domestically by herself (or with her sister) but I have to say I was quite relieved when I saw her walking off the plane with her passport hanging around her neck (also highly recommend a passport holder for around the neck). She was sick as a dog but had her passport (and actuallly everything else too).
I also recommend contacting the roommate to be, or to ask the school for help with arranging a ‘buddy’ to help him. Maybe someone from Chicago, maybe someone else also coming from abroad he could meet along the way.
Lots of good advice on this thread. I want to second the suggestion to have them wear a Nebraska sweater. At this time of year there are so many international students travelling that they will find each other and move through the airport as groups.
Can he reach out to other international students at Nebraska who will be traveling at the same time? I’m sure there will be others on his flight there and maybe they can plan to meet up at O’Hare?
I really appreciate all your answers one by one.
Ideally, he would coincide on the flight to O’Hare with student-athletes of his nationality (he has been recruited through a recruitment agency and this could be organized).
The problem lies when booking the Chicago-Lincoln flight with United since in the reservation forms it asks for information about the adult who drops you off at boarding in Chicago and the adult who picks you up in Lincoln (arrival concerns us less since maybe an adult from the university can come pick him up)
When you are reserving the airline ticket, do not select “unaccompanied minor.” At age 17, if your child is mature enough to attend college, they should not need the unaccompanied minor service. It’s an extra cost to you and they really shouldn’t need someone escorting them around and/or picking them up at the gate.
I don’t think you need to come, but I would reach out to the office that supports international students to ensure he will have all his paperwork in order to fly as a 17 year old. These offices have seen it all!
You might also want to reach out to the coach and/or athletic liason to see if anyone else is traveling at the same time or the same way. They can help with logistics.
Btw, while I traveled alone internationally starting at age 13 (and had a few “papers not in order” adventures in those pre-internet days of information black holes), I also fretted about my kid flying alone at 16 and 17. It was fine - in fact, he often found the others heading to the same college re-visit or whatever on his own in the airport. It just comes with the parenting territory. I fully support the idea above about letting your kid take the lead when you travel together. He’ll develop skills and you’ll feel more confident in his abilities. Make sure his phone is activated for US use, that he knows to keep it charged and has a battery pack, and be prepared to talk him through it if necessary. You’ll both feel better!
I don’t choose that option; but when we enter his date of birth United web asks me for the information of the adult who drops him off and picks him up at airports
One of my daughters started flying alone at 11, before United mandated the UM for those under 14. Once her flight was canceled while she was at the airport but we were watching and let her know, she got on another one.
Maybe you can call United and discuss the situation with them. The United website states clearly that the unaccompanied minor service is optional for a 17-year old. https://www.united.com/en/us/fly/travel/accessibility-and-assistance/unaccompanied-minors.html On the other hand, if you are concerned about having your son go it alone and are willing to pay $150 one-way, they will provide someone to walk your son through and make sure there are no issues. I did that the first time I sent my kids unaccompanied from Japan to the US, and it worked very well. We tried to take it step by step, first with us, then with a United staff member and then finally on their own. Covid hit mid-way through my son’s freshman year, and that changed all the plans. We were going to fly back and help him pack up for the summer, but he ended up having to deal with everything on his own. He also had to deal with cancelled flights, delays and all sorts of other things. Needless to say, he is a fearless flyer now.