<p>I just found out that Zoosergirl's orientation is a three day affair that families are expected to attend. No way can we do that. Is this the norm? Anyone who knows anything about orientation stuff would have my thanks for providing any insight.</p>
<p>A lot of families can't attend orientation events. The colleges deal with it. At D's college, we skipped all but two of the formal orientation events...were too busy running around buying stuff for room, getting cell phone and bank accounts set up, etc.</p>
<p>Just tell ZG to take good notes so you can know what you missed (unless the events are dual tracked, one for students, the other for parents) and stay by your cell phone just in case there is something you really really need to know and make a decision about.</p>
<p>The only thing you seem to be actually needed for (other than buying lots of stuff) is signing the paper that allows you to see the child's grades, if there is indeed such a thing. Many public universities here have multiple orientation sessions over the summer for the frosh, and that is the main thing the parents have to do. Maybe some health forms.
At my D's orientation there was NO reason for parents to have to be there, other than fetching and carrying, we didn't even get an opportunity to sign the disclosure form!
I'm assuming that it is the length of the orientation that is a problem, you won't miss anything, it is all about you letting go and the university having an opportunity to solicit you for an extra donation to the Parents' Fund or to buy athletic tickets. I'm not cynical, no not me!</p>
<p>We didn't attend and don't plan to attend future orientations. My parents didn't attend mine and I had a ball.</p>
<p>At my college it is also a 3-day affair. My mom is flying up with me and staying 5 days...it's kinda the norm now at alot of colleges. My dad isn't coming because of work..he will be coming to parents weekend in november...whatever...i think it's kind of over the top if you ask me but yes, it is the norm</p>
<p>My kid had 2 orientations. One was the week before, which did not involve parents at all. The other was late spring/early summer. The sring/summer one was important for the student b/c they met with their advisor and registered for classes (without parents obviously). There was no need for parents to attend. We did use the time to open up a checking account, deposit money on their house debit type of card (oh students were issued these at that time), and we brought a full car load of his belongings and placed them in storage since we made the 6 hour drive each way. The programs were very nice, I enjoyed them a lot, but were not necessary.</p>
<p>No, I didn't stay for my son's orientation last year. I picked up the parents' itinerary and it looked interesting. Because I live within driving distance of his university and have a younger son at home, I dropped him off and picked him up the next day.</p>
<p>Many colleges are including parents in orientations in an attempt to quell the growth of "helicopter parenting" -- in other words, colleges are pro-actively trying to get parents to let go and including them in orientation is seen as necessary to help them do so. Most "parent orientation" activities, by the way, are separate from those for students, so your daughter also probably won't stick out like a sore thumb if you aren't across campus doing parental orientation activities. It is also highly likely that many other parents won't be able to attend a three day orientation.</p>
<p>It sounds like you, and your daughter, are already ahead of the game. So, don't feel guilty about not going if you can't go, and don't worry that she's going to somehow "miss out" if you aren't able to attend.</p>
<p>My kids both had two day orientations. We could not attend my daughters but did attend son's last year. His was very nice, there were talks for parents, free food and bottled water, and a very nice induction ceremony where the kids signed in and were given a keepsake pen. We didn't get to his college until just after noon on the first day and were one of the last ones there. At his college, the majority of the parents attended. As far as the grade release, that was done along with some other paperwork before son started. It was just the right amount of time - we got him moved in, met some other students and parents, took him out to the store for misc. stuff , etc. </p>
<p>I'm wondering if there is a compromise. Could you just attend the first days worth of activities? I'm sure there are other parents in the same boat.</p>
<p>We skipped 'orientation'. Helped D move into her dorm, bought a few necessities, then kissed her goodbye and left. We went to visit her when she was settled, had an established routine & friends and felt (rightly) proud & confident with her new life. It was a much better, fuller experience than the orientation, which, according to many other parents, centered around various opportunities to part parents from the contents of their wallets.</p>
<p>My S's orientation at big state U was a 2 day thing in late June. We did not go. S rode up with another student from his sch. who was also attending that Orientation session. There was some separate stuff for parents if they chose to come but it was not mandatory or even necessary. I think most kids showed up on their own. S had a good time and didn't seem to mind at all that we weren't there.</p>
<p>Tell the college you're saving your money so you can come to graduation.</p>
<p>There is really no need for parents to go to orientation.</p>
<p>Both of us parents went to DS's orientation, but it was a 2 hour drive away and not at all inconvenient for us. For DD, we were flying across the country. She attended the orientation that was right before the move in days. So...I flew out with her so she could take her stuff in four suitcases, and I could also help her move in. DH did not go to her orientation. To be honest, I didn't hear anything different at DD's orientation than what I heard at DS's three years earlier. But I'm glad I got to help her move into her dorm!</p>
<p>My parents didn't stay for orientation, and I'm fine. :) Seriously, you don't have to be there. Parents stay for a variety of different reasons, but if you feel secure with your child's school and she seems to be fine, don't feel guilty! :)</p>
<p>Our S's orientation at a small LAC was pretty much a dual track and his part continued on past any parent activities (3 days for us, 5 or 6 for him). I agree that it was pretty much focused on letting go. We were a big help in just hauling stuff to his room and running to Target for last minute stuff, but other than that and a final lunch in the cafeteria, did not see him at all. After the first move-in morning, out existence was not relevant to him. They kept them very busy and separate from us deliberately. Don't worry if you can't go. We missed Parent's Weekend instead, but I think it would have been better to go to it and to have seen him settled in. Don't get me wrong. I'm very glad we went, but it was absolutely for us, not him.</p>