<p>My daughter is very happy at her school. She choose a huge (50K student) third tier state school over another large state school (with a better academic reputation - ranked much higher…about 100). She liked the feel of the campus and surrounding city better AND it is only a little over a 3 hour drive home (instead of a 6 1/2 hour drive). She comes home at least once every five weeks or so. She joined a sorority right away and has made many friends, despite the huge lectures. It was the right choice for her.</p>
<p>Sheesh, DTDad… My s isn’t even gone yet and you got me all teary!! However, having an older D (now 24), I am not sure her living back at home would work for any of us. Holidays and “visits” are somewhat time crunchers when there is lots to do, etc. Experiencing their independence is not fun in the least when they have been so used to living on their own and making their own rules.</p>
<p>Can’t believe freshman year is almost over. My daughter is incredibly happy with her college and mostly that is due to her willingness to jump right in to activities and academics. The toughest part was seeing her get sick so often, living in a dorm is like when they went to preschool…she hasn’t had this many colds since she was a little kid. It did force her to find the campus health center and use it.</p>
<p>Our son’s choice was based 100% on his intended major–a risky move, but he’s focused. Yes, he’s happy. The toughest part was the first month without our only child. The best part was finding out how well he handles his independence (as far as we know). The interesting part is creating the next phase in our relationship with our adult son. First I typed “young adult,” but I don’t think that’s quite accurate! So far, so good.</p>
<p>S is very happy and has never questioned his decision. We were a little nervous sending a shy kid to an OOS public 1500 miles away and not knowing a soul, but he had very few difficulties adjusting and making friends. The hardest part for me has been letting him learn to navigate the system with only a minimal amount of advice from us. He is our youngest and that combined with some health issues during HS led me to “baby” him more than I know I should have. This truly has been a “letting go” year and I’m happy to say it has been a success. He hit a few snags along the way but has really grown in so many ways. He is looking into staying on campus part of the summer to work and take classes. We’re very proud of him.</p>
<p>My-3-sons, you give me hope for my son who is a homebody and will be a freshman next year. I must say when we visited his college last week, the faculty and administration worked hard to talk to the students, not the parents so I’m working hard to make him start doing more for himself. He does know how to do a lot (he just choses not to, lol).</p>
<p>About my this-year-freshman daughter:</p>
<p>Did they pick the right school? Yes, absolutely.</p>
<p>Are they happy? Yes, has some great friends, loving her classes, looking forward to next year.</p>
<p>What was the toughest part for you? Hmmmm…the day she called and said she was going to live off-campus next year so she can get a year-round job, which meant no more long stays at home. Other than that, no real big heart-breakers. I did have to teach myself to let her handle things instead of me calling Student Services or whatever, lol, but I’m used to it now.</p>
<p>I think the answer for my daughter was an enthusiastic “yes!” She has done very well in an academically demanding curriculum, gaining confidence as she has found she can hold her own with kids that went to much larger, wealthier high schools that offered ten times the number of APs available at her rural hs. She has been an active member of her college community, and her leadership potential has been recognized by the college. She has a sizeable social network of bright, involved kids, who have been wonderfully supportive of one another. It has all worked out much better than we could have hoped for last April, when she was still grappling with the decision as to which college to choose.</p>
<p>Our worst moment? She had to report to school a week or so before most of the other first years for “band camp.” After we helped her move into her room we dropped her off near the dining hall and watched her stride across the quad all by herself. Little did we know it then but about 30 seconds after we watched her disappear into the student center she met the girl who is now her best friend.</p>
<p>My daughter definately made the right choice. We never had a doubt and she is even happier than we imagined. My only concern is how well she will adapt to being back home for the summer…I think she is going to be bored</p>
<p>Did S make the right decision? Absolutely. In some ways, it’s too good of a decision. He has “found his people” and loves his program, sometimes to the exclusion of discovering the city and all the other things the campus has to offer. I’d hoped to see him branching out more instead of burrowing into his comfort zone. </p>
<p>The school has opened doors in ways he had only dreamed possible (and is out engaging in same this week). He had one class winter quarter that wound up pretty ugly, and he’ll be paying for it in terms of some lost opportunities, but he brought that one on himself by never engaging in it and never asking for help when he was in over his head. Otherwise, classes and his grades have been stellar.</p>
<p>He has been terrific about holding up his end of the bargain financially. In some ways, too much so – wish he’d work a little more while on campus and less on break. He could really use the downtime when he’s home. It seems like every time he’s home he’s trying to get a project done so he can bill for the hours, and the work is not making him terribly happy (though it pays darned well).</p>
<p>The worst part: the second week after we dropped him off. First week was fine – I knew he was SO happy. Second week it hit me. The other worst part: he’s not coming home this summer. He had a research job lined up in Boston by mid-October. Fabulous for him (it’s with a prof he’d like to study with in grad school), but it’s going to be a long, lonely summer. There is so much more I want to share with him. His “home” is on campus now. I expected that would happen.</p>
<p>Sophomore parent here:</p>
<p>Yes, he picked “a” right school. I say “a” rather than “the” because I think I would have said the same thing about his other options, as well.</p>
<p>From about sophomore year we visited LAC’s in Florida and the south. D was always lukewarm in her response. Then we visited flagship U summer before senior year and she never looked back. She applied early, got in, and therefore never even sent in the LAC apps. She is very happy, and has adjusted well. She joined a sorority which has made the large campus seem small. She is doing well in classes, and between credits she brought and this year she will be done with gen ed and liberal arts requirements and moving into more meatier major classes with smaller sizes. She has applied for a leadership role in homecoming (nonsorority related) and just makes that student body seem small. </p>
<p>I hate that she is 6 hours away. But we bought football tickets and had fun visiting in the fall. And she came home a few times bringing friends in the spring. I am glad I have a D. She texts and even calls to keep me posted about things. I can’t believe she will be home in less than two weeks!!!</p>
<p>Verdict is out with our s. He was home last week on break and indicated he would like to transfer to our local university next year. We told him no, to stick it out (three more years). This was his first choice, far from home and a very well respected university. His father and I have adjusted wonderfully. We finally have an empty nest, I got a full time job, after 10 years at home. We are hoping s will adjust after freshman year. He will have better housing options next year after a “forced triple”. He has many friends there and is doing well.</p>
<p>My D is a sophomore. The toughest part for me when she feels extremely homesick, more so 2nd year, then freshman year. And it is despite of tons of friends and various activities that she got herself involved in, the fact that she loves her school and all her major / minor classe, has envious job and doing exceptionally well academically. I have hardest time finding what to tell her when she is homesick except that she cannot be in two places. I never know what to say and I end up not sleeping for few nights. She is very outgoing with clse friends accumulated around her since she was 3 years old. I cannot even imagine how really shy / lonely kids feel.</p>
<p>My D likes her school. She seems to be more at ease there, than when she was in HS. The only thing she does not like is the food. She lost weight ( she can’t afford to loose) and does not eat like a horse anymore.
I am happy that she volunteers in school, and writes for a school magazine.<br>
The biggest surprise for me is how she wants to keep her dorm room clean, something she does not do at home. I wonder if it because her roommate is messy.
I am glad she is at a place that she chose, and have no regrets.</p>
<p>My S is lucky 1 of his 2 best friends from HS is his roommate and same major. His friend is one math series ahead of him so by the time each new quarter comes he knows exactly what to expect in math, his toughest courses. </p>
<p>I’m still waiting for him to explain how he gets a “A” in physics and a “B” in theater?</p>
<p>D couldn’t be happier where she is. I am so proud of how she has taken advantage of the opportunities there. She adores her friends, has taken on some leadership positions, and seems to have earned the respect of her profs. She will stay on campus in a research position for most of the summer. </p>
<p>She seems to be a bit disappointed in her own academic performance, though. I think she was sure that with enough hard work she could kick butt…turns out that engineering is really hard!! ;)</p>
<p>Great topic but dang if I’m not tearing up again. I’ve cried more the last year than the 20 prior. Ennyhoo. . . At his relatively stable moments this past school year, DS has commented <completely unprovoked=“”> “I definitely made the right choice.” He’s having a killer second semester–still getting used to college classes + his sport is in season + for some reason he decided to do the fraternity thing. I was delighted that he seems concerned about his grades (!) and about getting a job this summer (!!). He has already signed up for classes next semester and is excited about his schedule.</completely></p>
<p>Most of the time he is very happy. (Recent tag line on facebook–“if walking on sunshine were physically possible i would be doing it right now”)</p>
<p>Hardest for me have been (1) that <em>awful</em> tummy bug he got 2.5 weeks into school (who knew him enough to care?), (2) visiting for parents weekend a month into school and seeing just how darned comfortable he looked, (3) during that same visit, when I knew he was tired, offering him a nap at the hotel room and hearing, “no thanks–I’ll sleep better in my own bed” (thought but did not say, “No! Your bed’s 300 miles away!!”), (4) hearing him say two days after he’d come home for Thanksgiving that he missed his buds and couldn’t wait to get back, (5) still crying every time he leaves or I do (not so much in front of him any more–definitely getting better at holding it in for a few minutes) (BTW–when does that stop?), (6) being so excited about having him home again in a few weeks but then reminding myself that it’s only for the summer. At my weakest I think I want my little boy back.</p>
<p>DTdad–My son also said the same thing about going “home” but I’d read that on here so I was prepared it might happen. His nine year old brother was deeply offended though, and has continued to correct that any time any one refers to campus as “home.” </p>
<p>Ingerp—I finally did not cry when my freshman s left after Easter. I did feel a bit of a pall hanging in the air the next day, but nothing like how I felt after taking him to school in August, or even after Christmas. He’s just so darned nocturnal now, that after having dracula living here for Christmas and spring break, I’m a little relieved to get back to the normal routine. He has his car at school now, so when he came home for Easter he got home Friday night–at 1 a.m.!!! He gave somebody a ride without realizing they lived at the opposite end of the city, so that added a good 45 minutes, but still! So he would’ve been walking in at 12:15. We stayed up to chat until about 1:30, and I was like a zombie on Saturday. I love him to pieces, but I just can’t handle that late night stuff.</p>
<p>This post has forced me to reflect. My D picked a school based on a whim to major in an area I was absolutely positive she would not stick with. And I was right. But, it’s a very good school. She likes it a lot and she found another (more suitable) major. Bonus for H and me is that it is the geographically closest school of all she applied to. </p>
<p>I’m still not sure it’s the best school for her, and I think that’s dawning on her, although it will take her a while to admit it. She has made lots of great friends, had great teachers and had lots of new fun experiences, so it’s not a loss by any means.</p>
<p>Like several others here have said – the hardest part is letting her find her own way.</p>
<p>Wow, so many great stories about happy kids. That’s all we want to hear. My son is at a music conservatory, so it was a little unknown to us whether or not he would truly be happy because it is such a different sort of experience from traditional college. He seems really ecstatically happy. He also got sick with the flu and missed a week of classes during which he called me daily (not at all the norm when he’s not sick!). It is so hard when they are sick and you are not there to fuss over them. Luckily the nurse at the Health Center called the Dean and had him excused from classes for the week, and gave him motherly advice like “eat more–you’re too thin” and drink something besides water for the calories! I felt really grateful for her.</p>