So, our son will be a freshman athlete in a fall sport at a LAC, and planned on going through housing office for a roommate match. So far (and I realize that could change), he does not party, and was turned off by some of the enthusiasm for the freshman “party” dorms showed by some of the other incoming athletes. He thought he would get a better match through the housing office, with its detailed questionnaire, where he might get a quieter dorm and more compatible roommate.
For families who have gone through this process, are there pros and cons he should be thinking about in deciding whether to go through housing match or to choose to room with a teammate? He doesn’t want to live with someone he could be competing for playing time with, and he (and we) like the idea of having a roommate who could open up other groups of friends/activities, rather than focus everything on his sport. But maybe we are missing other considerations because of our inexperience with this? Thank you for your insight.
I will be interested in what people have to say from experience, b/c DD’16 is basically required to live with a freshman teammate per their coach. The girl plays a different position and seems very laid back, so things should be fine. Originally, DD’s plan had been to room with another athlete from a different sport, though.
Other schools that had recruited her said they didn’t encourage teammates to live together, especially freshmen, b/c they’ve had problems in the past, but the culture of this team seems to be that it is expected that the team lives together. The upperclassmen have a house off-campus together. So we are just going with the flow.
I think your family has the right idea. I would add, though, that DD felt it was important to room with another athlete simply b/c of the odd schedule athletes tend to have (like getting up for a 6 am practice or a 7am weight lifting session and having to be extra quiet if your roomie is sleeping).
There are some pros to living with a teammate. My daughter lived with 3 teammates in a freshman suite (in a freshman village) The students are on the same workout schedule and when you are getting up at 5 am, and going to bed at 9 pm, it’s nice not to have a roommate you are disturbing all the time. D did not have a car but others did, so getting a ride when they practiced at the high school (about a mile) was nice. Roommates understand what the pressures are. Instant friends. Walking to meals together as their schedules were much the same. Also, they had required study hours at the library most nights, so could walk home together for safety. My daughter’s group of 4 wasn’t as into partying as the other suite of 4, and my daughter also joined a sorority so had an ‘out’ for always doing everything together. Plus, she’s in engineering and had to study a lot more than the others. That helped.
Cons? Lots of them. My daughter wasn’t competing for playing time, but two of her roommates were goalies and one was clearly better. Boyfriends. Any suite disputes were carried onto the field and of course field disputes brought home. Too much time together. Way too much!
Second year many of the others moved off campus (together) and my daughter stayed on campus and lived with athletes from another team. Much better. Same benefits of schedules and early bed times, not so much drama. Also, when the other team traveled, D had the whole suite to herself!
So, I suggest your son consider living with other athletes, just not on his team. That worked well.
Thank you for those perspectives, very helpful! Being paired with an athlete in another sport sounds ideal, I certainly heard tour guides at different LACs say that, as an athlete, they were matched with an athlete in another sport – so I’m hopeful that happens at kid’s school.
Son was required to live with a teammate freshman year and loved it, and will be living with a teammate again next year by choice. Most of the team was very close and socialized with each other outside of team activities. The one drawback may be that he has not made a lot of male friends outside of his team. Most of his non-soccer friends are members of the women’s sports teams, including his girlfriend. I think that at least in the beginning having a roommate who is on a similar schedule is an advantage, although rooming with someone competing for playing time in the same position could be problematic.
Freshman roommates are the ultimate crapshoot and all rules of thumb are swallowed by the exceptions. I once made the suggestion (for the very reasons noted) that a kid should room with an athlete from another sport. It was a disaster. There was a change mid-year and the kid kid ended up moving in with a team member. From what I have seen, especially in a tight-knit sport like mens soccer, the boys do tend to live together.
I understand completely where you are coming from. I roomed in a double with a teammate many years ago, and it is undeniably nice to be on the same schedule, and have someone to commiserate with/who understands the commitment. But it does make it harder to branch out past the team early on, especially in a fall sport where so much time will be devoted to the sport.
My son on the other hand lived this year in a seven guy suite with only one other athlete (different sport). He is rooming with one of the non athletes next year, and while he occasionally had issues because his schedule was so different than his roommates, for the most part I think he enjoyed not being surrounded by football players all the time. He did have the one single bedroom in the suite (benefits of getting to campus early) so that helped a bunch I am sure.
So it is six of one, half a dozen of the other. If I had to pick, I would say in a single room situation I would choose to live with the teammate but in a suite style dorm I would risk the general housing pool. This is really only because I think the biggest single issue is the differing schedules of normal college kids and athletes. I really wouldn’t sweat the competing for playing time stuff though. The kids need to get used to the competition sooner or later, it is ever present in college athletics. Most guys adjust pretty quick.
Son was placed with another athlete, but on a different team. It wasn’t a good match for him. They had very little to do with each other and didn’t stay friends at all.
Cleanliness and hours are the most important factors for roommates. If you’re coming from the gym or in the library, it still is useful to agree on when to turn out the lights!
Think its a crap shoot either way you go. Great roommates both in and out of the sport, also terribles ones both in and out of the sport.
S was required to room with football teammate his Fr year. Spent all 4 years rooming both on and off campus with the same core group of teammates. Some competing against each other but was never a problem.
D was required to room with track teammate her Fr year. First 2 years have been great, continue to room with each other even though both run in most of the same events.
I think it really just depends on the kids and their personalities, no different than non-athletes. The schedules, workouts, practices, meals, classes, study halls, etc really do make rooming with a teammate easier for both parties.
My daughter lived in a small, crowded triple with two members of her team. They got along great and were very supportive of each other through the ups and downs of freshman year. It was very helpful to have others getting up at 5am with you on a cold winter day when the last thing you want to do is dive into a pool. My daughter found the two on the Facebook site for her class and invited herself to be the third in the triple. A lot of luck was involved. It helped that we could stalk their Facebook pages ahead of time, but one never knows. Most of the freshman athletes seemed to be rooming with other athletes, and my daughter did not hear of any big problems.
My son lived with his teammates all four years. There was a very strong team culture in terms of practice schedules, academic achievement and a anti drinking commitment. Worked for him – his roommates/teammates are his friends for life!
When I was in college, did it both ways over the years. A roommate who shares your schedule is great, especially if it’s very out of sync with everyone else’s. (5am wake up to work out). Downside is you’re already with these people so much. We ate 2 meals a day together after practice. We practiced 2x a day together. We traveled in packs!
Getting to know others. - athletes and not – is great. And as few athletes stay on teams all 4 years, it gives some perspective on what not participating might look like. I recall talking to my coach about not wanting to participate sophomore year, and her comment was “Who will your friends be?” That got me back for another year! But that year, due to mess up with housing that separated me from my teammate, I met non athletes, and I had a better answer a year later!
Agree that it’s a crapshoot and compatibility is based on different attrubutes.
Very interesting…
My son’s school actually purposefully mixes everyone together and doesn’t encourage teammates bunking together. Will just have to see how that goes :-0
I would personally encourage athletes who have the choice to select a roommate from another sport that might have a similar rhythm/season to it. Our sport mandated that the athletes live together. Out of the 6 pairings freshman year, only 1 stayed together sophomore year. The rest of the team went to live with non-athlete or non-same sport friends for the next two years. In our case, swimming, its a hugely long season with many ups and downs, too many travel trips and too much togetherness. Being apart from one another allowed for a greater diversity of friends and interests. The single advantage to the girls living together the first year was that when the alarm went off at 5am there were two girls reacting to it and having to go to practice.
When our D was selecting her Div. 1 school, she did not want a program that required her to live with a teammate, as she wanted to be sure to meet plenty of people outside athletics. Also, she was coming from a pretty nasty high school team social environment and wanted a safeguard against forced team togetherness beyond practice and competition. However, her non-athlete freshman roommate was not a great fit, and she ended up truly adoring all her teammates and roomed with some of them the other 3 years. In fact, her best friends were all athletes, since even if they were in season different seasons, they understood the time pressures and commitment required and did not guilt trip each other for not accepting every social invitation or for not being socially available on demand. D was adamant about the fact that athlete–non-athlete dating relationships did not work well at her intense Div. 1 school. Friends’ understanding of the intense athlete lifestyle was especially important for D as a distance runner, since she was in season all year. Perhaps in a Div. III setting, these considerations would be less applicable.