Friend issues

Student Lounge College Life
1

I never thought I would post here but I’m a freshman at a school and I’m about a few hours away from home. During first semester I had a really hard time adjusting because I was very close with my family and I was going to a school where it was a completely new environment. My roommate and I didn’t get along but luckily I met a really good group of friends who I really liked and spent a lot of time with first semester. I was really excited about finally having a group of friends where I felt like I actually belonged. Well towards the end of first semester my closest friend in the group started to get very rude towards me, she acted like I followed her around when there were other people when she would really ask me to hang out equally as much as I would. I felt like I was always giving in the relationship and she just took it for granted.

Second semester has started and the people I’m turning to are my group of friends and whenever we do stuff my friend always has to be the center of attention and if we every drink she always acts drunk and fools around with all the guy friends in our group and then acts like she doesn’t remember anything the next morning when in reality she barely drank. Like there’s no way she’s drunk but whenever she drinks a sip she always acts like shes completely wasted and starts being very obnoxious.

The other girls in our group are getting fed up with her but the thing is whenever it’s us two she’s the best friend anyone can have. She’s my closest friend here and I don’t wanna lose her but her personality switches 180 degrees. Whenever I’m with her in a group I always feel like I wanna go home and it’s miserable. What should I do?

2

Toxic (at least in the sense for you), people are just that - it will not change. Learning to identify them is definitely part of growing up. Learning to extricate yourself and the how to, also learned. No easy or perfect answer without being there, but in the end doesn’t matter. Take care of you. Maybe begin by spending a lot less one-on-one time. You need to go to library and need to focus, you committed to help someone, you’ll talk later, etc. Meanwhile keep eye out for other clubs and the like where you can diversify your interests.

3

The friends you start out with freshman year are not necessarily the same people you will hang out with the next fours years. It takes almost all of freshman year to transition to college and to start getting to know people. This semester you have a new set of classes and an opportunity to meet new people. Expand your horizon and get out of your comfort zone. Get involved in clubs and activities in school where you get a chance to meet more students. Don’t cling to one person. Hang around those that are respectful and positive. Use your time at college to explore and try out new opportunities because the four years flies by fast. Pursue your hobbies and interests where you get a chance to meet people who share the same passions. Your school has a lot to offer so you should be trying to take advantage of all those opportunities you have access to. Focus on your goals and why you are there.