<p>Not sure why I'm posting this, guess I'm in need of a venting session...</p>
<p>When I first came to school this year I got to be good friends with a girl in my hall (We'll call her "Ann"). We'd known of each other the year before, as we both played in a youth orchestra at home together, though we didn't start talking until we both ended up deciding to go to the same school. Up until about November I considered her pretty much my best friend at school. I made the effort to get to know other people, but Ann and I were pretty tight so we spent a lot of time together. </p>
<p>Along about Thanksgiving her relationship with her boyfriend (who she started dating three weeks into school this year) started changing, and they've since turned into one of those couples who eat, sleep, breathe, and do literally everything together. It's gotten to the point where I feel like Ann and I are hardly friends anymore, and she pretty much only hangs out with her BF. </p>
<p>Now I'm at a loss because, while I do have lots of friends around campus, most of them are more on a casual basis. It seems like most groups have already been formed and it's difficult to break in midway through the year, especially for me, as I tend to be a quieter person. I'm in the band, which is a pretty close group, and offers many opportunities to meet people, i'm just frustrated because I thought I'd found a really good friend in Ann and now that's seemingly pretty much gone.</p>
<p>Dunno what kind of advice I'm looking for, but if anyone has any please offer it!</p>
<p>if ann and her bf break up, you might be top priority again</p>
<p>otherwise, theres nothing you can do but wait for other opportunities</p>
<p>I wouldn't worry about that. Lots of people don't have groups yet, I have lots of random friends, and I am slowly adjusting better. Perhaps look at a soriety, I'm rushing a fraternity to see how that is. It is not for everyone (it may not be for me), but you do get a solid group of friends that way.</p>
<p>Try to accept that and find other friends. Sorry. Not that what she is doing is completely okay, but you kinda expect it when she gets into a relationship. It's more healthy to branch out and find a variety of friends.</p>
<p>well since Ann & her bf are inseparable... maybe you could become friends with her bf & hang out with both of them at the same time without feeling like a third wheel.</p>
<p>How do you not feel like a 3rd wheel when you're with a couple????</p>
<p>why not find a guy yourself?</p>
<p>Or join another club.</p>
<p>sounds like it was a good run</p>
<p>they could break up! lol</p>
<p>So I was PMS-ing when I posted that...seriously. I'm in a better mood now. The way I see it is that I'm getting to know other people, and Ann's the one who's going to be lost if she and her BF ever break up. In response to Pearlinthemist, I actually am really good friends with Ann's BF as well. For awhile I didn't feel like the third wheel when I was with them, but then it got to the point where I realized that Ann doesn't know when to cut the PDA. </p>
<p>Again, I was highly emotional when i first posted, but I'm better now. It's her loss, and I'm not going to wait around for them to break up.</p>
<p>Focus on yourself and you can do to better your situation. There are people out there who can and will be good friends. "Ann" isn't stopping this situation, is she? Hang out a little more with some of the casual friends and see what happens. </p>
<p>Some people in their first year at college become Klingons, that is, they have to have a security blanket relationship with somebody, anybody because they are affraid to grow on their own. While "ann" may realise this at some point and attempt to change this behavor, you have a head start.</p>
<p>:-)</p>
<p>Exactly what I've come to realize, Opie.</p>
<p>Just do the world one favor: when she breaks up with her boyfriend and runs crying to you about it and expects things to magically go back to how they were a year previous when you were very close friends, go on and tell her that you figured since she hasn't been interested in talking to you or spending time with you for a very long time, you figured that you're not friends anymore and you've moved on. </p>
<p>Soooo many girls seem to think it's a really awesome idea to get a boyfriend, and then start totally ignoring all their friends. Then, either the boyfriend goes away for a week or so and they call up an old friend (who they haven't spoken to for about 2 months and haven't seen for about 8 months, now) and say, "hey my boyfriend's gone and since I can't spend time with him, I thought I'd call you, you're never doing anything!"...or they break up with the boyfriend and want their old friends to come over and comfort them and listen to them sob about it. It's like no one in the world wants to be good friends with a girl past about middle school.</p>