<p>If he works really hard at UCR maybe he'll be able to transfer to UC Berkely next year. I think the mom is being unreasonable. If she would give him some space, he probably would visit quite frequently and without the resentment.</p>
<p>calmom--ha,ha!</p>
<p>OP</p>
<p>Does your mother know his mother? Might they have a little talk? Nobody wants their parenting practices to be criticized, but if another adult who was also sending a child off to college could chat with her about how hard it is, but how important it is for kids to make friends and fit in socially...just a thought.</p>
<p>Calmom - My son already does all of the slovenly things you suggested, both when he visits and in his own apartment :) The things my daughter reported when she visited him over winter break are a little too gross to post here.<br>
I can't imagine what he would do if was "trying" to be even more slovenly than comes naturally to him! And it is not just him, his roommate is also just as responsible for the disgusting conditions in their apartment (especially the bathroom!)</p>
<p>To the OP, I agree that if your friend humors his mother at first, he will likely find a way to visit less frequently over time without upsetting her.</p>