Hello everyone. I know everyone in this forum is obsessed with school, courseloads, and getting into college, but I have a real situation. I believe this fits into this forum because I am in high school, and this is my life.
I have this friend, who I probably consider my best friend. We talk all hours of the day, and have known each other for ~6 years now. However, I’ve begun to realize that they are sucking the life out of me. I think about them constantly, and worry about every single tiny aspect of their life, when I really shouldn’t. It feels like this severe anxiety is killing me.
I almost feel like I need to break up with them and cut off communications with them. It’s that bad.
I don’t think they know how horrible they make me feel. I hope they don’t know, as it would just make them feel awful.
Why I want to stop being friends with them…
I’m not happy when I’m with them
I no longer enjoy being around them
I no longer enjoy talking to them
They make me anxious
They make me jealous
They make me angry
They’re so clingy to me
I hate listening to their problems
I would be more free without them
I would possibly be happy without them
I would have more time to do other things I want to do without them
I’m staying friends with them right now because…
I want someone who pays attention to me
I want someone who listens to me
I like them generally as a person
We share interests and personalities
It would be horrible to split up with them
I would get crap about it from all of our friends
I would still think about them constantly
It would kill them if I abandoned them
I really don’t know what to do… I’m open to all opinions you can give me. I’m so stuck and conflicted. Thank you for reading this.
You can try starting to spend less and less time with them like maybe eat lunch with them 3 days and some other friends for 2 days. You could also join some clubs so that you have a reason to spend time with other people and maybe make some new friends. Don’t instantly break off contact with them but slowly start to spend time with other people and try to back out of your troublesome friendship. After a while and some distance, you may realize you don’t want to be friends with them at all or a break and spending less time together is better for your relationship.
You may also want to help your friend meet other people who they may be able to spend more time with and share their problems with so that you are not stuck listening to everything.
Friendships change as people change especially throughout high school and you might end up being closer and happier after some time apart.
I don’t know why you feel this, but tell them what you’re feeling. A true friend will understand, and maybe keep a little distance. If they did soemthing to you, then I think you should tell them you don’t like it. I’d be lucky to keep someone for that long, and my anxiety tends to drive people away
Fam, just drop all those negative people in your life. Seven billion people on this earth, you can make other friends. Also, your friend might’ve changed over the past 6 years - the person you were with years ago might not be the same one today.
?? If they’re really that clingy that they would go through an unhealthy phase in their life then I think it would be best for them to seek help. Even then, you can’t hold back your life for other people; there needs to be equilibrium between what you want and what other people want, and you should always put yourself first.
They aren’t friends if they give you bs about trying to live a better life. Also, whose life is this??? Not theirs.
In my opinion, I wouldn’t want a friend who hates spending time or talking with me.