<p>Agree with the SAT prep. Think of it this way: whatever you spend on the prep course or tutor will be well worth the return in college acceptances and merit scholarships. Your daughter sounds lovely and accomplished. Working 15 hours/week and managing a team is no small feat.</p>
<p>It may be worth considering both the SAT and ACT for junior year, since some students do significantly better on one than the other.</p>
<p>The word “deserves” did jar on me too a bit. But I’ll give the dad the benefit of the doubt and assume that what he meant was “she should just be who she is and that will naturally lead to her being accepted at the kind of college that wants kids like her.” I agree with this. It makes sense, right? The school that will love and appreciate her for exactly who she is is the school where she will be happiest, where she will fit in, and where she will be most successful.</p>
<p>That’s not to say that she shouldn’t strive to challenge herself and maybe step up to fill leadership vacancies in the clubs she’s involved in. But she shouldn’t, say, run for student government if she has no interest in that. There’s a difference between challenging yourself a bit to be the best you can, and turning yourself into someone you’re not in order to impress a college (or a person). </p>
<p>It could be semantics, I know people sometimes don’t use the accurate word at times.</p>
<p>I agree with everyone else: she’s doing just fine, but better SAT or ACT scores–if possible–might give her more options. She already has nice scores, but it sounds as if she could do better with some targeted prep. Better scores might bring her merit money or admission to a school with better FA. </p>
<p>I think it’s fine for you to run ideas by her occasionally, as long as it doesn’t turn into pushing. Some kids would spend all of their time outside of school watching tv or gaming if a parent didn’t prod them into getting involved in other things, things that they may turn out to enjoy. Your D is <em>not</em> that kid. She is self-motivated. (I assume it was her choice to get a job?) </p>
<p>The one area of obvious opportunity I see from what you’ve described is the club of which she is the president that you said was “low-key.” Presumably she is interested in whatever this club does: are there opportunities for more significant activity there? Not in terms of more meetings for the sake of having meetings, but in being more effective in whatever their mission is. </p>
<p>I just finished watching 2 years of my neighbor pushing her son (who had very high grades, scores and interesting interests all on his own) to find leadership in things he didn’t really like that sucked time and energy and made him fiercely resentful of his parents. I think it ended up hurting his apps because he dropped some true interests where he did shine to take on some resume item activities to keep parents and paid college counselor happy. </p>
<p>I would vote for at most encouraging her to find the things she loves and make the most of those - to be the best ‘her’ she can be. After than either a school loves her or not but they won’d be loving or rejecting some false version of your D. </p>
<p>I agree with everyone, she has a fine list of activities. If she wants to look more like a leader she can do a little more within that activity. For example, say she’s the president of the “Low-key French club”, maybe she organizes a group that gives a concert in French at the local elementary school, or initiates a pen-pal program with a school in France or Canada. It doesn’t have to be anything huge. Just some new activity that takes a little organizing. It’s hard to know what a weighted 4.0 might be unweighted, but she sounds like she’s probably a B+ to A- student - i.e. above average, but not stellar. She’s got above average SAT scores, but she might want to see if she can kick them up a notch. More for merit money and less worrying about what’s a match, than because she has to get better SAT scores. There are plenty of very nice colleges that will be happy with her just as she is.</p>
<p>Count me in with those who think your daughter is fine. She works 15 hours a week; she is a team manager and she’s already president of a club as a sophomore. How much more “leadership” do you want her to show? Chances are she will gain more responsibility at her job (in high school, I became a shift manager and it was the first time I had to manage other people). Contriving “leadership” is a terrible idea and probably just creates stress. </p>
<p>Don’t discount the 15 hours of work a week - that’s a huge time commitment - on par with a sport or editor on a newspaper (?). </p>
<p>I can see your concerns and I can also understand your husband’s reaction. Too often, parents are reacting to the media which tends to emphasize how difficult admission to the tippy top schools is. Truth be told, there are over 2000 colleges in the US - most will be thrilled to have your daughter as a student. With a weighted 4.0 in D’s junior, we looked at Colleges That Changed Lives - for the B/B+ student. Go to their college fair if they come to your area. I think you may gain a different perspective on the college admissions game.</p>
<p>More of the most happy, successful Americans didn’t graduate from Harvard than those who did. Harvard is a well-known school as an example, but isn’t the only worthy school. How about this guy as an example:
Robert A. Niblock
Director, Chairman of the Board, President and Chief Executive Officer, Lowe’s Companies, Inc., Niblock holds a bachelor’s degree in accounting from the University of North Carolina at Charlotte.
Or this fellow: Mr. Stephen D. Steinour, also known as Steve, has been the Chief Executive Officer and President of Huntington Bancshares Inc., and for its subsidiary, The Huntington National Bank. Mr. Steinour holds a degree in Economics from Gettysburg College.
So maybe hubby is right, she will find where she fits in, then if she soars or just treads water is up to her.</p>
<p>In general, I agree with your husband’s perspective. However, once your daughter zeroes in on a few schools, she may need to target her behavior to maximize her chances of entrance and/or scholarship money. And that is where your research and advice may come in. </p>
<p>That’s what we’ve done with our D. Most of the schools to which our D is applying could reasonably be considered safeties for her. However, she knows she needs to get decent merit money even to consider them and so she is doing things she probably wouldn’t be doing otherwise. Two schools on her list in particular are very concerned with applicant interest. She can very easily see herself at either place. And so, she’s attending open houses that there’s no way she’d be going to otherwise since she’s already seen the schools and likes them. She actually attended one of those college fairs specifically to see the reps from one of the schools. She’s doing a completely optional interview. Are these actions forced? Sure, but they may make a difference of tens of thousands of dollars. And if she’s going to go to one of these schools anyway, we’d of course rather have a full tuition discount than a “mere” 10 or 15 grand off the price. We’d be fools not to try to get the price down as much as possible. So, unless money is no object for you, at some point you may want to get your husband on board with the admissions game. </p>
<p>I live in the crazy competitive NE, not just school district. Can’t swing a dead cat without hitting 100 over-achievers One things I’m having to teach myself to do is listen to my gut as to what is best for my child, not what others think is best for him, or wanting him to go to a big name school that might not be right for him. It’s very easy to get caught up in all of it, and you’ll see this year coming up that intensifies about 1000%. Some of the lengths people go to help their kids get into top schools can be astounding. Kids can really get caught up in it too and stress out. </p>
<p>Your D sounds very self-directed and a hard worker. She’s miles ahead of many college applicants - maybe not at Ivies but that is perfectly fine. Keeping up good grades and pulling up her test scores a bit will probably help more than taking on another “leadership” role. </p>
<p>BTW there are some good test prep alternatives out there that don’t cost an arm and a leg. Some of them, like Revolution Test Prep, do a lot of on-line tutoring. We can’t afford private tutors (they charge $200/hour around here!) but this helped my son pull up his scores. </p>
<p>Ditto on the SAT prep; I have a kid who “tested poorly” (bad test habits mainly). Through our school they had a test prep class that was only $250-- 8 weeks; half of them “advice and tricks and skills” and half “real time tests”. I think it made quite a big difference for him. You don’t have to spend $1000 for a fancy counselor/tutor.</p>
<p>Get the kid some test prep. Other than that, she’s fine. </p>