FSU application essay

College Essays
1

<p>Florida State University is more than just a world-class academic institution preparing you for a future career. We are a caring community of well-rounded individuals who embrace leadership, learning, service, and global awareness. With this in mind, which of these characteristics appeal most to you, and why?</p>

<pre><code> The whole world is connected through the ocean. We aren't separate entities floating above the mantle divided by a large expanse, the ocean is actually our highway. Men for centuries have used it as the road for exploration. Global awareness not only involves travel but is a means for self exploration, through the experiences of places oceans away. Just as the ocean dominates our planet through an expanse of oneness, we will all become connected through our knowledge and openness to one another sparking a powerful drive for transformation of the human race.

The Indian government and relief organizations were successful in saving lives during the threat of an impending typhoon During October, because they were aware if the severity of the storm and acted quickly to move coastal peoples out of harms way instead of allowing them to brace for the storm. However just a few short weeks later in the Philippines their was another massive typhoon, although this time many lives were lost. Despite awareness of the danger, poor judgment calls were made. Concern for our neighbors and knowledge of crises in other parts of the world may have saved those people because they would have realized that evacuation was the only answer because of all factors. India realizing the huge task of recovery for the Philippines because of its own experiences has given vital aid. Global awareness can help us to anticipate future problems we may face and how to overcome them through examples of other countries.

Like most people I have prejudged. For Instance most assume New York as all Hustle and Bustle and lack of manners. In Victoria Secret's during cashing up, I discovered a special, so I rushed for more items to qualify. On my way back I collided with a man and brushed him off with a quick apology. He would not accept that, and right there in the place known for scorn I was forced to be humble and give a sincere one. Global awareness reveals our foolish preconceived notions.

Florida state university welcomes waves of people from across the ocean every year. Through its various programs such as global pathways and international programs students immerse themselves and become one with the unknown, like a deliver plunging the depths. Global awareness is important to me as an international student and also a global citizen in that I would feel welcomed and accommodated on campus while being afforded the opportunity to transform not only myself but others through conflict resolution, respect and openness to new cultures, all which take place during cultural exchanges.

"The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeing new lands , but in seeing with new eyes." Marcel Proust words mean to me that discovery of new lands and ideals make us aware of other opinions and other parts of truth and reason. Through others we can discover our shortcomings, discover our uniqueness, discover future problems, discover deeper meanings of life's mysterious ways, discover we are one.
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<p>This was just a quick first draft, opinions welcomed</p>

2

<p>I suppose it is an okay start except for the 3rd paragraph which must go. That is a random weak example that doesn’t fit in with the rest of the essay and doesn’t make much sense either. And what’s up with the random capitalization?</p>

<p>The major problem with the essay is that you spend most of it pontificating. Although it allow us to see a bit of what you are thinking about and what matters to you, there is entirely too much lecturing. What is missing is more about you and what you do to prepare yourself for exploration and global interests.</p>

<p>The only example you are trying to give of yourself brings up an unrelated topic of prejudging, and tells a unremarkable story. For some reason I am having a kind of deja vu about this. Have you posted something like this before?</p>

3

<p>thank you for the input and no I never posted something like this before</p>

4

<p>ok redo: </p>

<pre><code> The whole world is connected through the ocean. We aren’t separate entities floating above the mantle divided by a large expanse, the ocean is actually our highway. Men for centuries have used it as the road for exploration. Global awareness not only involves travel but is a means for self exploration, through the experiences of places oceans away. Just as the ocean dominates our planet through an expanse of oneness, we will all become connected through our knowledge and openness to one another sparking a powerful drive for transformation of the human race.

At one time i would akin my knowledge of global communities to a diver first plunging into the deep. My misconceptions were my protective gear, but reality made me realize the bitter cold of the morning waves. As I swam deeper, sustained by my air tank, my curiosity, I saw marine species I encountered before and was comforted with familiar images. But deeper still lay the unfamiliar which made me uncomfortable. I was submerged and the only way out would be to return to my ignorance. I was forced to accept and take in a world unlike my own, but very much real. I think this is what global awareness ultimately achieves. We are to accept and acknowledge that there are many distinct ways to be human and they’re all valid.

I engaged with a friend on rape culture around the world, particularly India. We shared stories we had heard about young women being violated. We then moved on to people being persecuted for their religious rights. We ascertained that the petty religious arguments we participate in and the annoyance we experience from immature males was nothing. We lived a sheltered life compared to many women around the world. I realized that there is a bigger world outside of my experiences and comforts. I have never had to fear my life because of being a woman or being a christian. Global awareness helped me to realize that others face bigger atrocities and may desires lie there.

Florida state university welcomes waves of people from across the ocean every year. Through its various programs such as global pathways and international programs students immerse themselves and become one with the unknown, like a diver plunging the depths. Global awareness is important to me as an international student and also a global citizen in that I would feel welcomed and accommodated on campus while being afforded the opportunity to transform not only myself but others through conflict resolution, respect and openness to new cultures, all which take place during cultural exchanges.

“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeing new lands , but in seeing with new eyes.” Marcel Proust words mean to me that discovery of new lands and ideals make us aware of other opinions and other parts of truth and reason. Through others we can discover our shortcomings, discover our uniqueness, discover future problems, discover deeper meanings of life’s mysterious ways, discover we are one.
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