Funny Math Jokes and Quotes

<p>After working in the test prep field for over 15 years, I think I need a break. I decided that what this forum needs is a thread with funny math jokes. But be warned! I've found it pretty difficult to find math jokes that are actually funny. I'll start this off with a few of my favorites, but I hope that everyone will join in to fill this thread up to keep us all laughing right through the next SAT. And I suppose we don't have to get hung up on math - science and general education jokes are fine too. Ok, here we go:</p>

<p>What did one math book say to the other? Don’t bother me I’ve got my own problems!</p>

<p>Math problems? Call 1-800-[(10x)(13i)^2]-[sin(xy)/2.362x]</p>

<p>Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second one says, “I’ll have some H2O too.” The second scientist dies.</p>

<p>"I used to hate tests. Then my teacher said to just treat them as a game. Now I hate games, too."</p>

<p>And this one's for anyone taking calculus:</p>

<p>e^x and a constant were walking down the street. The constant notices a differential operator walking along the other side of the street. “Oh, no!” exclaims the constant. “I’ve got to run away! You’ve got to hide me! There’s a differential operator – he could reduce me to nothing!” “Ha,” came the haughty reply. “I’m e^x. He can’t do anything to me.” So e^x walked across the street and introduced himself. “Hi. How are you doing? I am e^x,” he bragged. “Pleased to meet you,” replied the differential operator. “I’m d/dy.”</p>

<p>This one is from my own freshman year math class by my extremely dry-humored teacher. </p>

<p>Teacher: On Christmas this year, we will be planting a big tree in the middle of our classroom.</p>

<p>Students: …?</p>

<p>Teacher: We will be planting a Geometry. </p>

<p>Students: (Get out)</p>

<p>Three logicians walk into a bar. The bartender asks, “Would you all like a beer?” The first one says “I don’t know.” The second one says “I don’t know.” The third immediately says “Yes please!”</p>

<p>Why didn’t Newton discover group theory?
Answer: Because he wasn’t Abel.</p>

<p>What is a proof?
Answer: 1/2% of alcohol.</p>