<p>Geology professor in an email:
"All- I just had a small accident in the lab and need to go to the ER. I will therefore, need to cancel the class today."</p>
<p>Female German 1 professor: "Wie alt bist du?" (How old are you?)
Patrick: "Achtzehn." (18)
Professor: "Oooh, Patrick."</p>
<p>Student: "Because of the Rutgers-Louisville football game, I think class should be cancelled on Thursday."
Professor: "Rutgers has a football team?"</p>
<p>Professor: "I once had this crazy, psychotic girlfriend. So I had given her a key to my apartment - big mistake."</p>
<p>Linguistics professor after mixing up the phonological rules when he was analyzing the data set: "I'm really sorry you guys. I'll just be honest. I had WAY too much to drink last night."</p>
<p>Finance Professor, after incorrectly transferring example solutions from his notes to the overhead: "You know that new sports bar downtown? Guess what I did while watching the NCAA Championship last night."</p>
<p>math prof to my class that has only 1 girl:</p>
<p>"why do they call numbers integers? so its complicated! so hot girls get confused, so nerdy guys can help hot girls and get laid. thats why they're called integers! otherwise how would us mathematicians get any?"</p>
<p>"one day, let me tell you, you will get hemorrhoids. you guys are 18 or 19, you think they will never hit you but they will"</p>
<p>"i call this the fu ck the one rule" (doing limits in calculus...)</p>
<p>financial accounting professor: "do you all really hate the class THAT much?" or after explaining some exceedingly boring principle: "isn't this just THRILLING?". my favorite today was "i hope you guys just hate accounting and not me," we all laughed. shes actually a great professor accounting is just the driest subject in the world</p>
<p>history professor last semester. "the spice trade, it was like crack. crackheads have to get their hands on crack.. europeans had to get their hands on spices" and then "renaissance men, they were like freshman. freshman walking around school in flip-flops. the freshman wear the flip flops and walk around 50 degrees in them" yeahhh he was a little crazy but entertaining nonetheless.</p>
<p>stat professor in heavy eastern european accident. "okay i have good news and bad news. good news, you get back test. bad news, the test" i loved his accent</p>
<p>"You can't take put some dirt into your hand and spit in to it and then go 'hey, here's a baby!'" --Anatomy and Physiology professor</p>
<p>We've written down a ton more of her quotes, but I can't recall anymore at the moment..</p>
<p>And for some that actually make sense...</p>
<p>"If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got!" Introduction to Health Management professor</p>
<p>"Getting a job is like fishing. The more variety of bait you got, the better chance of catching your goal." Introduction to Health Management professor</p>
<p>"To reach 80, you gotta get past 30." Health Perspectives professor</p>
<p>haha, these quotes are hilarious, I'm going to college next year and someone told me that sometimes professors come to parties. Is this true or were they just trying to mess with me? haha I'm guilible.</p>
<p>I suppose at some schools that might happen, but at many schools they have specific rules to prevent that from happening... (e.g., that faculty and staff may not be seen drinking with students)</p>
<p>Economics professor: "I hate make-up exams. If you want a make-up exam, you need to give proof ... If your grandparent died, I want to see the death certificate."</p>
<p>Well, I don't know about professors at parties, but TAs definitely. I know alot of people who are/were TAs and I also knew younger people who were in their classes and it was really funny because my friend who was a freshman was like "OMG That's my Biology GTA!!" at a party we were at, who turned out to be my friend Kim L., lol.</p>
<p>From a modern Jewish history professor: "The [Jewish religious] extremists tried to destroyed the Dome of the Rock. But they did not succeed." Whoa, talk about value-laded on a controverisal historical subject!!!</p>
<p>"Life without perfect 5ths is like life without pancakes."
- Music Theory professor</p>
<p>"It has been my experience from my years at William and Mary that any professor who tries to schedule a productive last day of classes is severely misguided."
- International Law professor</p>