<p>I just bumped a thread about this earlier, but I thought I would create one of my own. My son is considering a gap year as a means to mature and prepare for leaving home. He is interested in doing a volunteer program or a trip that would take him away from his home environment in order to open him up to the college environment and independence. He is very dissapointed in himself, as he believes he does not have the self confidence to go away, and he is/was really really looking forward to getting off to college with everyone else.</p>
<p>I think he is just being more realistic now, as he does not want to be thrust into the college atmosphere and then panic and have to come home (something he has done before)</p>
<p>My S did a volunteer project in Africa with <a href="http://www.madventurers.com%5B/url%5D">www.madventurers.com</a>. I cannot say enough about the quality of that organization--and the kids and young adults on assignment. They will arrange almost any sort of volunteer project your S wishes in the countries they serve. </p>
<p>Cheers -- Thanks for the links. My S is a high school junior, a top student and very involved but not thrilled with academics. He is thinking of doing a gap year and asked me about programs in Africa. Your recommendation is greatly appreciated. I am reluctant to let him travel on his own without structure and am familiar primarily with summer programs.</p>
<p>I don't think a gap year is the answer; I read your earlier thread in which you addressed the issue of your son's reluctance to leave home and would tend to agree with people who suggested approaching (and, one hopes, resolving) the issue this year. Reluctance to go to parties as a kindergardner or or initial homesickness at a sleepaway camp program as a ten-year-old are familar issues to many, but it sounds as though your son really needs to think about the issue now, not having had the opportunity to do so earlier. To my mind taking a gap year because he is unhappy at the idea of leaving home is just postponing the resolution, especially since I seem to recall from your earlier threads that he has alrady been accepted at his ED school, so is presumably well prepared academically and at least on the surface prepared in other ways too. I would say try to work out the problem now and don't think of the gap year as the first recourse but rather as the very last. I don't want to say it's a cop out because I really sympathize with the problem, but in this instance the gap-year approach does not seem to me to be truly constructive, just a delaying tactic.</p>
<p>I actually think the gap year is a counterproductive delaying tactic. The fact is that college tends to be far more structured and nurturing than most gap year programs worht their name. In college help is only minutes away, and in this case, mom and dad will only be two hours away.
We are talking of a kid who is reluctant to leave home for a college a mere two hours away, who has never liked sleepovers and never went to camp, and suggesting that he go on long trips? Does he know the first thing about how to find his way in a strange town? what to do if his credit card is lost? if he gets sick? How much tolerance will he have for strange places to sleep in, strange food to eat? This sounds to me totally unrealistic.</p>
<p>FAD: It sounds like he just needs some encouragement and reassurance from you. He's only halfway through his senior year, and it's normal to feel some reluctance about going off to college. He's not prepared to make the transition yet (I don't know many h/s seniors who truly are, at this point), and he feels like he's still in high school. Let him be in high school, for now, and give him the rest of the year to come around. He still needs to get past two important life milestones, his high school graduation and the summer before college. Graduation is all about saying goodbye to high school and moving onto something new. The summer before college is a big separation time, sometimes painful, but it's still an important step toward wanting to leave home. </p>
<p>He might think about participating in a summer activity that takes him away from home, even if only for a short time (2-4 wks). But, keep him on track for college in the Fall. A gap year is a big deal, an entirely separate pursuit than college, and it seems like he's just expressing normal feelings of apprehension rather than a desire to do something other than go to college. The important part of your post (to me) is that he is "really, really looking forward to getting off to college" when his peers do. That feeling, I think, is a more genuine indication of where he sees himself going. But, old feelings of insecurity are bubbling up at the prospect of being left alone in an entirely unknown environment. I think he just needs to be reassured that he'll do fine in college, he'll meet new friends, have lots of support from home, and he'll be able to handle whatever comes up. Don't spend too much time future-tripping. All that's doing is reinforcing his fears. </p>
<p>Your son sounds like my D, who is a soph at a univeristy 2 hrs away. He'll like the space when he's away at school, but he'll appreciate being able to come back when he needs to take a break. Good luck!</p>