Garde this essay(first time)

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
1

<p>Hi
the topic is:
essay topic</p>

<p>To change is to risk something, making us feel insecure. Not to change is a bigger risk, though we seldom feel that way. There is no change. People, however, cannot be motivated to change from the outside. All of our motivation come from within. What motivates people to change ? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observation.</p>

<p>My essay :</p>

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<p>I cannot help but believe, despite my slight ambivalence over the issue, that change is a vital necessity for humanity. Change has been the engine that makes civilizations evolve. However, it doesn’t have to be promoted from the outside. In fact, it’s the innate desire to get rid of the stagnant way of life that motivates people in general and ARAB revolutionaries in particular to bring about what is now called the ARAB SPRING.
Unsatisfied with a monarchic system ruled by a corrupted family, Tunisia people strove to change and went out to the streets asking for their most fundamental right, freedom. Those crowds weren’t mobilized by a typical inspiring leader and fervent speeches, or by foreign pressures. They just felt the urging need to claim their dignity and deserved democracy. Everyone convinced that he was doing the right thing. It was from within the hearts of the protesters and their unshakable resolution, that the first sparkle ignited the flames that spread throughout the whole country.
One would wonder why these people would endanger their security guaranteed by the dictator. Why would anyone risk his safety and dare to call for the dissolution of the political system? But is was the determination inside every protester that fueled this first-time uprising .The people didn’t care about their alleged security, they weren’t intimidated by the threats, and even worse, the oppression that caused the death of hundreds. All that mattered was their dignity for which they would sacrifice al they have. In fact, when the motivation came from within the protesters hearts and not from the outsides, when they felt compelled to improve their statuses, they became committed to their cause, in spite of the numerous dangers.
In December 2010, an oppressed community fought relentlessly for change, a change that was fueled by nothing but their perseverance and their quest for freedom. These people didn’t care about the outcome of this movement; their only concern was the need for change.</p>

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<p>IS this a 2-digit essay, last time i got an8; is this any better? thanks!!</p>

2

<p>It seems a bit short,isn’t it??</p>

3

<p>ten chars!</p>

4

<p>bummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmp</p>

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<p>Look, it seems that you’re not familiar with the fundamental essay writing techniques. So read this thread: <a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/sat-preparation/645763-how-write-12-essay-just-10-days.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/sat-preparation/645763-how-write-12-essay-just-10-days.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>And then write another essay on another prompt, and insert it in this forum for critique.</p>

6

<p>ok, thanks
but i really don’t realise how this won’t work.
i mean, the CB always 6-points essays that use a unique personal experience instead of 2/3 historic example!!!
or, is it unlikely that this works(except for exceptionnel experiences??)</p>

7

<p>This is a good essay, but it has a lot of analysis with little information. Provide a little bit more background history as to why they are fighting. Although it is unconventional, it would still get probably an 8.</p>