Gender Relations

<p>I’ll be attending ND in the fall, I was hoping current students might be able to shed light on the amount of interaction that there is between the sexes on campus. On what level do guys and girls hang out? How much hooking up takes place? Is there truly no sex on campus? It’s not that I intend to do terrible things, but rather that I find the idea of having the university constantly over my shoulder to be a little off-putting. Any insight anyone could give would be fantastic...</p>

<p>i agree 100% with the OP. there is a thread in the myspace ND group about this topic and many of the posts seem very disheartening and actually turn me off about the school quite a bit. some insight?</p>

<p>I'm pretty sure eye contact is allowed on the weekends. Other than that, well, there is usually a curtain down classrooms so you don't look at the opposite sex, and having males in the female dorms and vice versa... well, that's simply not done.</p>

<p>Oh, wait. No. There's plenty of interaction. It's not some sort of seminary/convent. It's a college.</p>

<p>When I was there visiting, I actually "chilled" in the girls dorm (im a guy) Pasquerilla East until around 2. Everyone was doing homework and chatting. I mean, parietals do put a dampener on things, you're roommate will be less likely to have a girl or guy in his or her bed than if you were at another college which I think is a good thing. In terms of parties, they happen, and alot. Girls and guys do interact. I also posed the question of actual dating to alot of the people i met, and they said that the "hookup" nature of the school is totally wrong (thought up by some magazine or something). People actually do date. I actually saw alot of couples walking around campus, couples sitting down on benches, sitting at the "stonehenge" fountain and just hanging out in general. In fact, in the group i was hanging out with, there were 2 couples. Oh yes, and the way that I was able to hang out in the girls dorm until 2 was that there are lounges, couches, tables and such on the first floor. SO while parietals prevent girls or guys from being in bedrooms after 12 on weekdays and 2 on weekends, you can still hang out in public areas through the night.</p>

<p>People seem to worry about this all the time but really it is not a problem. I hang out with girls all the time and I have a ton of girl friends. I have never felt limited by being at Notre Dame, yes we have parietals, but it isn't a major issue. Don't worry!</p>

<p>I believe this is by far the biggest fallacy about life at ND. Like people can't have sex before 2 a.m. if they want to? As a parent, I really like parietals. They are at best an inconvenience, but kids <em>are</em> in the 24 hour lounges in the middle of the night quite often. It actually gives you more options - like to study after midnight during the week - I once heard the after midnight time referred to as a forced study hall, even though I'm sure plenty of kids go to LaFortune or the 24 hour lounge or whatever instead of studying!</p>

<p>Exactly, there are always other places to go if you want to keep the conversation going. I just wonder where these rumors get started because really, let's be honest, I am no Casanova and I have plenty of female friends and would probably would be dating right now if circumstances were different (like they weren't about to graduate in a month). Regardless, hanging out with girls is not difficult and actually happens quite regularly with study groups or talking after class or what not. It is funny the way you meet people but it does work as well...so many of my female friends I met in class and we just happened to get to talking one day and then became good friends.</p>

<p>Moral of the story, women do exist at Notre Dame, and if you are not able to hang out with them at all, my money is on the fact that the problem isn't with ND. I hope that helps.</p>

<p>I echo what Irish said...believe me I have plenty of stories about things that I witnessed while living in a dorm. Like Docmom says if kids are intent on doing something, they will find a way to accomplish their goal. That having been said, is having sex or hooking up in a dorm room perhaps the smartest decision of your college career? The answer to that is a no...</p>

<p>I say this because I know of a good number (at least 5+) who were caught by either Hall staff or their Rector/Rectress. Inevitably you end up getting sent to ResLife and sometimes the "book" gets thrown at repeat offenders. I know of one kid, two years younger, but from my HS who was caught as a Freshman. His GF came up to visit him, and stayed in his room...nothing was happening actually. Nevertheless, he was booted out of his dorm and moved across campus as part of his punishment...I do know of repeat offenders being kicked off campus.</p>

<p>Even still, I would say that the only reason people see problems with Male/Female interactions are because they are looking for a problem and something to blame on the University. If you want to make female friends, then you can. The only inconvenience with parietals is if you are studying and midnight roles around. Then you have to pick up and move shop to 24-hour space in a dorm, to Lafortune, or to the Library...</p>

<p>Hey- this might be incredibly obvious, but there's no hook-ups at Notre Dame? (u get busted?) ... They think undergrads are too young??</p>

<p>I have good friends at ND and from talking to them about college life in general I've come to the conclusion that any "psyco-catholic" myths about the school are obviously unfounded and untrue. Don't let dumb stuff like that deter you from applying where you want.</p>

<p>nemo, what is ResLife?</p>

<p>don't wry gavy, if we both get in, i'll have sex with you BEFORE 2am hahaha</p>

<p>ResLife=Residence Life and Housing. When you get in trouble for breaking parietals, drinking illegally, etc., this is where you go to have your fate read to you. It's really not that serious, I've heard that most punishments are a slap on the wrist--fines, community service, etc. In more extreme cases, students may be kicked off of campus (though not out of the university) or in extremely rare cases, considered to be kicked out of the university. I've heard of people being kicked off of campus but have not yet heard of someone being kicked out of the school.
The biggest down side of being "ResLife'd" is that it'll show up on your record later on (or so I"ve heard--correct me on this if I'm wrong). So when you go to apply to be an RA, go abroad, or try to switch into a nicer dorm...being ResLife'd could come back to haunt you.</p>

<p>jonoam, can i assume you are a current student of ND?</p>

<p>so if you get caught... doing the nasty... what exactly will be put on your transcript?
"innappropriate behavior on school grounds" ? or .. blatantly state that you're going to hell since you're catholic? </p>

<ul>
<li>this post is not meant to offend anyone, it's just legitimately something i'm curious about, sry if i didn't state it in the most politcally correct way</li>
</ul>

<p>yes, I'm a current student...I'm not sure exactly how it will read but a do know of a repeat offender who was kicked off campus. I don't know the details of it because I'm never going to be stupid enough to get caught if I choose to break any of the rules. I'm willing to bet that they have a politically correct way of their own of categorizing the offenses, though I'm sure it's safe to say that "you're going to hell since you're catholic" would not be the exact wording ;).</p>

<p>bottom line, don't break the rules. And if you choose to break the rules...be smart about it and don't get caught. Some people complain about ND's "strict" rules relative to other universities. My response to that is that ND is not just another university, it's how the school is run and if someone doesn't like it, they shouldn't choose Notre Dame as their college.</p>

<p>haha, well i guess i mean would you be looked down upon by everyone and walk down halls in shame or is it a mixed bag? (wow now i feel like i just asked a rhetorical question.. lol) </p>

<p>i guess, perhaps you could tell us how it's affected your personal life? i mean, i like parietals in the sense that i have a legitimate reason to deny every boy on grounds of suspension (not that that would be the only thing stopping me) but i'm just worried it'll make my life especially.. idk the right word for it, but i'm sure you know what i mean.. but you seem okay. how's life regarding that aspect?</p>

<p>dbear</p>

<p>I am also a current student and your question about parietals effecting your personal life is it really doesnt because everyone at the school has the same restrictions on them so everyones schedule is about the same. Everyone at some time or another complains about parietals but in really they aren't bad at all. And if you really don't like them you can move off campus sophomore year and not have to deal with them.</p>

<p>I know this is an old thread but i had a question:</p>

<p>If I did want my boyfriend to visit would it be best to tell him just to get a hotel room for the night? If I wanted to stay with him would it be a bad idea to stay with him? like, would I get in trouble for spending the night with him off of campus?</p>

<p>^ You wouldn’t get in trouble if you stayed with him off campus but if he stayed overnight in your room and you get caught then you’re screwed</p>