Get out while I can?

Student Lounge College Life
1

<p>I moved in on Saturday, only five days ago, and things already seem horrible. I'm a having a horrible time thus far. I switched dorm rooms already, as the last one was horrible and so was my roommate. Now, I'm in a more expensive dorm (which gives me a single room due to it being the suite style), and things may be worse because my roommates all went to high school with each other. I've spoken to them, but it seems they'd rather ignore me than make friends. I had to call my mother (45 minutes away) to take me to the store, even when they were going to the same place. </p>

<p>Classes started yesterday, and a lot of professors want their books by the next class (I don't have the $600 for books.) I try to meet people and I make a point to introduce myself, but thus far no one is open. Maybe because I'm not the typical rich sorority girl, I don't know.</p>

<p>Anyways, I'm really hating it right now. Next Wednesday is the last day to withdraw without a 25% fee (which I can't handle later on). I'm wanting to go home and go to another school in the spring or next fall, when I'm better prepared. Am I giving up too fast or postponing the inevitable? I doubt I can handle an entire semester at this place.</p>

2

<p>I'd say switch out dorms another time -- explain to your RA the situation. Don't settle for a suite because by now everyone's probably made up their friendship. Look for a double only and say you will not settle for less.</p>

<p>Give the professors another week if you can to see how they are. </p>

<p>But honestly, some schools just don't work. Or when you go and visit the school board makes a huge deal to hype up the campus and make it look wonderful and everything, only for it to truly be crap. If you have a gut feeling that you won't be happy here, leave.</p>

3

<p>Stick with your dorm, stick with your school, and give it a shot. You haven't been there long enough to make a judgment whether you like it or not.</p>

4

<p>Wow, what kind of school do you go to?</p>

5

<p>I would like to know too...</p>

<p>There will be all kinds of people in the world, and you will have to deal with them whether you like it or not. I didn't go through what you did, but I wasn't able to make any friends until/second/third week of school after frosh week. </p>

<p>Do you think you're an awesome person? If so, good, because those jerks are missing out on a great friend. Your time will come. Not everyone is a b*tch.</p>

<p>About the books: buy them online. If you didn't get your books on time, the profs wouldn't b*tch at you. Also, the more math oriented courses tend to have useless textbooks (ie. you only copy down equations or do textbook problems) and the humanities and social science courses will require heavy reading, so you can buy some and not others.</p>

6

<p>Because you are stressed at the transition to college, more than likely everything is looking bleak to you. You also probably are more irritable than usual, and that may be causing people to react negatively to you.</p>

<p>Look for some clubs to join that do activities that interest you. That's usually the way that people make friends in college: by finding people who like the same kind of things that they like.</p>

<p>No reason to change rooms just because your roommates all know each other. Most people don't become best friends with their roomies, so look elsewhere for friends. Also, lots of high school friends who room together in college find out that they can't get along in a rooming situation. It may be that you end up becoming closer friends with some of your roomies than they are with each other by year's end.</p>

<p>You must get books for class or you will flunk out. The advice to get them cheaper on-line is good advice. Meanwhile, if you tell your profs your financial problems, they may loan you books until the ones you order arrive.</p>

<p>And, yes, I think you're giving up too soon. Often it takes a full semester before freshmen adjust to a college, find activities to get involved in, and have people whom they regard as friends. The first weeks of college, I hated my freshman roommate for reasons that by second semester were laughable. We eventually became friends, and roomed together by choice junior and senior year. More than 30 years later, we still are friends.</p>

7

<p>be friendly with your floormates...just ignore your roommates</p>

8

<p>Uhm everybody's little freaked out when they move in but they usually adjust in several weeks. Give it a try for several weeks or so and when a semester has passed by and you stil feel left out, then there's a problem. But yeah, hang in there, you WILL meet people. Alot of people don't become friends with their roommates. And books won't cost you 600 dollars if you shop well online (half.com amazon.com) And if you don't have money for books, why did you choose a single over double rooms??</p>

9

<p>I clicked on your user name and read thru some of your other posts, and what I take away matches what I thought from your post in this thread -- this is not just first-week jitters. IMHO you're not ready for college, and you're not at the right college.</p>

<p>Look, nobody needs their mother to come to their college to take them to the store. I can't imagine a college so isolated that students have no option but to be ferried to the store.</p>

<p>Then you say you don't have the money for books. I'm perplexed why it comes as a surprise that you're going to need books for college.</p>

<p>You say people aren't friendly to you. I'm not saying any of this is your fault. You write "Maybe because I'm not the typical rich sorority girl, I don't know." If that's what they're looking for then it isn't going to get any better if you wait. The first few weeks are when people are at their friendliest! They're taken out of their familiar HS setting and are looking to build new networks. Maybe its them, maybe its you, but one thing everyone can agree on is it's not working.</p>

<p>In earlier posts you wrote (back in May)
[quote]
Is it too late for financial aid? Is there anything left to do? I should add that my mother isn't contributing to the cost at all, loans or otherwise. It's all me. Seems like all that work in HS was for nothing at all.

[/quote]
If you think the purpose of all that work in HS was to get scholarships instead of learn the material and take part in your community and activities you enjoy, maybe you ought to rethink whether you should be in college right now. What are you saying here? That if you had known then what you know now, you would have cut classes, dropped all the ECs, and done the bare minimum it took to graduate? If that's your feeling then maybe 4 more years of schooling isn't the best place for you right now.</p>

<p>In August you wrote
[quote]
Although school starts in only a few weeks, I'm not really happy about the attending the school I originally planned on. As it is, it would be costing me about 15k in loans for just the first year. I also don't have any of the other things I want or need to move in, like a television, a laptop, or money for books.

[/quote]
Ignoring for a second the fact nobody needs a TV to go to college -- You didn't want to go there, and now that your in the school you don't like it. What else is it going to take to convince you this isn't right for you?
[quote]
If things don't look up, I'll probably be about 50-60k in debt. All on me.

[/quote]
That is a crushing burden for most students. AND you're taking it on to attend a school you don't like, surrounding by kids who won't talk to you. Am I the only person that sees a problem here?</p>

<p>I understand the distress you're feeling, and I wish I could help. But people have already tried in previous threads you started. And for every suggestion your reply is "no, can't do that". "no, won't do that." "An apartment would cost more than the dorm." "No, I'd feel like a servant". And so on. People have tried to suggest getting a house near campus in return for work or babysitting, attending a community college, joining Americorps, moving out of state, etc. Any its just no, no, no. At some point you're going to have to accept that you're part of the problem here. Yeah, lots of kids have parents happy to pick up the full bill, or are in more fortunate circumstances. Ok, you got a raw deal comared to them. Pouting and insisting life work out the way you want it isn't a productive approach.</p>

10

<p>Based on your old posts, which I just reviewed, I think you should leave the college where you are. You are taking out a staggering amount of loans. You are miserable. It's not worth it.</p>

<p>You need to take a year off and reapply to colleges making sure that you are applying to some colleges that you can afford without huge loans, and that you know you will enjoy.</p>

11

<p>I hate to agree but perhaps not too late for a community college near home or perhaps an online college a semester. I would have said everyone hates it at first bc it is this dream.....to go to college and then when you get there you have roommates, classes, tuition, books and all....and most of all you are away from your comfort zone. It will make you grow up though when you are ready. When you are ready, all those things that are irritating you now DON"T matter. You just need to get your focus and confidence back. Get some counseling on getting your self esteem and confidence ready. YOu will do great!!!</p>

12

<p>mikemac,You're absolutely right. I realize already that I'm a part of the problem. I'll admit that I'm in many ways stubborn and indecisive. </p>

<p>When I say that all that work in HS seems like nothing, it was because of the fact that I did learn all that I could, the ECs, and kept my GPA in a good place and it didn't seem to help me at all in going to college. I wouldn't have slacked off if I had known, but I wouldn't have gotten my hopes up either. My mother took me to Wal-Mart because I had a gift card there and it made it a better deal than walking across campus to Publix (that's the only thing close enough to walk to). I knew I needed money for books, I just didn't know it would be a few hundred over what the school suggested I budget for. That and my work-study seems to have fallen through, which I didn't count on. A few of them wanted books that required codes, which meant they'd have to be new, and that caused a bump in the road.</p>

<p>I appreciate all the suggestions people gave me, and despite how it may look, I kept them in mind and I still consider them. I just hate disappointment, and I know life's going to have plenty of it, but this one really stresses me out. I guess I'm waiting for something to hit me hard enough that I'll turn around and not have to decide on my own, but it is what it is. The room won't change, the people won't change, and the school won't change. It just sucks because for almost a year all I wanted was to come to UA. I cried when I couldn't come, and now I cry because I did. I'll live.</p>

<p>I don't want to moan and groan for months any more than someone else wants to hear it, so I'm trying do whatever I'm going to and move on. I think it's too late for community colleges, but I'll check. If so, I'll just work this semester or year and try again next time. My mother got a bit softer since I explained we're in different places at 18 (She went to UA on a full scholarship and graduated with honors). Thanks for the help. I'll try to stop being a depressed little drama queen and suck it up.</p>

13

<p>You also could get some support by using the campus' counseling center. This early in the semester, you're likely to get an appointment quickly. That could help you a great deal figure out your options and how to make the best of your situation.</p>

<p>I continue to think that the amount of loans you're taking out and projected to take out is too high, and you'd do better by taking a full year off and reapplying, making sure to apply to colleges that you'd enjoy and can afford without the kind of loans you're carrying now.</p>

14

<p>if your going to be that much in debt and you already feel like things might not work out than community college isn't such a big deal.</p>

15

<p>My sister recently moved to Tuscaloosa as a 1st year grad student, so I know a bit about the area. I know the campus is huuuuuge, and that Tuscaloosa is very spread out. However, I also know that there is a campus shuttle bus, and little stores, like Publix, near campus that are within walking distance of things near the stadium. I'd bet money that there are places in the student center that can provide groceries, and of course you have a meal plan. What's probably more important to remember, since this is very much about money, is that Tuscaloosa is not a wealthy city(I'm sure you knew that) and that there ARE other students that have tight budgets. Once classes get further long and you meet more people, I'll bet that you'll find people with cars who would be willing to take you on Walmart runs with them.</p>

<p>As far as books go, I'm not sure what to tell you. You could go to the stores near campus and see if they have used copies of your books. I suggest you talk to your professors and see if they have any advise. </p>

<p>If you do decide to leave, I bet it's not too late to enroll in community college. It sounds like it might be financially necessary for you to take a year to work and take classes part time, so that you can reassess what you're looking for in a school and how to best prepare for it financially.</p>

16

<p>DONT LEAVE!!
please for me + the rest of the board</p>