Getting sick in college

Parents Forum
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My guess, though, is that you are having typical "freshpersonitis". A whole barrage of regular cold viruses that you have never been exposed to - from all over the country - combined with not enough sleep.

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<p>Just catching up; lot’s of good advice so far. I’d like to add that it can even take an excellent ENT specialist some time to get to the bottom of the trouble. So it is important to help our students learn how to manage their colds to prevent the all too common complications. </p>

<p>We live in an area that at times is the #1 worst place in the world for allergies. It’s very green. Before we moved here, I never had allergies. It took me and the ENT a long time to figure out why every cold turned into a sinus infection. This was the time when the kids were young and I caught many of their viruses. After repeated trips to the ENT, an MRI showed a massive sinus infection. Antibiotics took care of the initial infection, but every time I caught a cold, I’d develop another sinus infection. </p>

<p>At the time, the ENT said that I didn’t present the classic allergy symptoms. But the darned sinus infections after every cold were miserable and exhausting, and I’m a very healthy individual with good eating, sleeping, and exercise habits. I generally don’t like taking medicine, but learning how to manage cold symptoms became the important lesson for me. Drinking lots of fluids and taking decongestants were key to staying on top of a cold. </p>

<p>Camelia, I’ll leave specific medical advice to your Dr., but webMD online advice is a reasonable starting point to generally understanding how to take care of yourself with a cold, and I think you will find all your symptoms: <a href="http://www.webmd.com/cold-and-flu/cold-symptoms-complications%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://www.webmd.com/cold-and-flu/cold-symptoms-complications&lt;/a>. Unfortunately, the most effective decongestant, the pseudo-ephedrine has been removed from most cold meds. You can still get it behind the counter without a prescription though. I’m sure the docs can advise how to get relief from your symptoms.</p>

<p>I know when my S called earlier this year because he couldn’t shake a cold and had a miserable sore throat and wasn’t sleeping, I had to remind him that he had to take a decongestant to get rid of the “gunk” and post nasal drip that was irritating his throat. Too often it seems, kids want to tough it out and not slow down. He felt immediate relief from symptoms.</p>

<p>As another cautionary tale, my brother just got out of the hospital with pneumonia because he failed to take care of himself with a cold. He kept working and didn’t take care of symptoms as they presented. He and his family also recently moved to our area and developed allergies for the first time. When you have low level allergies constantly taxing your system, colds can really complicate issues. And you may not even be aware that you have allergies for some time.</p>

<p>(Later, I did present all the seasonal allergy symptoms, and Claritin was prescribed to manage the allergies. If I catch a cold, I switch to the ClaritinD (w/decongestant) 12 hr because the 24 hr makes me too jittery. Of course now available without a Rx, but behind the counter. Haven’t had a sinus infection in years.)</p>

<p>Take care of yourself Camelia. It is challenging to be sick and manage the fast paced quarter system.</p>

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<p>Maybe I'm biased, since I'm trained as a nurse and my sister as a NP, but I tend to think they listen better than the average MD.</p>

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<p>I wrote something else here but have deleted it because I sounded incredibly bratty. In short, though, I spoke to my mom and she demanded contact information for all sorts of people (the nurse who saw me, the first-year dean, etc.). I'm now rather worried and not at all comforted.</p>

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<p>camelia - although you gave your mom the contact information, they cannot talk to her without your permission... unless you signed a statement prior to school starting that gave them carte blanche. Since you are obviously still capable of speaking for yourself, they may still call you for permission.</p>

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<p>Does the fact that I'm not eighteen (my birthday is November 29) make any difference here?</p>

<p>Anyway, it isn't the information they'd give her that bothers me, but the idea of my mother calling to interrogate people on my behalf. I'm not a fan of helicopter parenting.</p>

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<p>She was surely concerned to see that you get the best possible care available. No matter what she says to them when she calls, no matter what her tone even, it WON'T matter and it WON't hurt you. I avoid it very much, but on rare occasions when I phoned people in college administration, you could almost hear their antennae go up, "ok, it's parent...what kind of strange parent will THIS be?"..and they've heard it all before. They tend to be very diplomatic towards parents while protecting the kids' legal rights.</p>

<p>So if you're worried she'll embarrass you somehow or it will influence what they think of YOU, it simply won't. They really look at parents as the bill-payers and want to deal with the students. They please parents enough to have us want to send their kids to them, but not much more. They are really serving and teaching YOU, and you are their central concern. If she ranted at them, they'd only feel sorrier for you. If she questioned them carefully and diplomatically, they'd only check over their notes and make sure they did all the could for you...but that also wouldn't reflect on YOU.</p>

<p>Most moms would be upset to hear you hadn't been feeling well AND hadn't let them in on it. Their first response could very well be "upset" (over the situation)which sounds like "angry" (at their own kids) until they calm themselves down.</p>

<p>You really had to let her know after all this time, anyway. So let the chips fall where they may and concentrate on getting some rest and work done this weekend.</p>

<p>Sidestory: recently I couldn't take the "not knowing" and called my kid's dean about the SO.Cal fires, just to make sure we were responding appropriately, being so far away from the scene. We talked about air quality and other health needs. It was all quite cordial, but towards the end I mentioned that I hoped I wasn't being overbearing here...he laughed. He said, "No, you're right to phone in. I've had parents calling from Africa today. People far away are having the most trouble understanding what's needed. Now, if you'd gotten on an airplane, flown out here to take him home..THAT would be "overboard." </p>

<p>The meaning of that story is: I think they've heard from all kinds of parents over the years about everything. It won't matter for YOU how your mom sounds on the phone, whatsoever. </p>

<p>Now that you're an adult, people will judge you AS an adult and not assume that whatever someone in your family is or does reflects very positively OR negtatively on you. You're on your own in the eyes of the world, moreso each year. For that reason, sometimes Moms do swoop in if they feel the world has overlooked you somehow, but that's her issue and her choice, not yours. The school knows you didn't ASK her to phone in (if that's what she does)! Let them deal with each other, and you go and rest.</p>

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<p>paying3tuitions, your posts are always so insightful. :)</p>

<p>As for the drawing, I spent two hours in the studio last night (first time I've had the energy this week!) and managed to finish one of the three drawings I need to make up for next week in addition to the regularly assigned homework. I'll try to get some more done tonight if I can fit it in between meeting my boyfriend's parents (I met them once before we started dating, and they're really nice, but it's still scary! :eek:) and going to a concert featuring said boyfriend... otherwise I can probably manage over the weekend (I also have an eight-page paper to write...oh, college).</p>

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<p>just want to try to offer another view on this for you to consider. now of course i know nothing of your relationship with you mom or how she may in fact be acting, i just throw this out for you to think about another view on this.</p>

<p>try looking at it this way -- not about a college kid and her mom -- but someone who is sick and someone who cares about them far away and concerned as to whether the sick person is sufficiently advocating for themselves. it doesn't matter how old you are or what the circumstances are -- the health care system is just simply not always easy to navigate -- and when you are the one who is sick it is often hard to have the perspective to advocate for yourself. i've seen this not only with my own children, but with my parents, my siblings, with friends and even myself -- the one who is sick is often simply not in a great position to question the medical professionals -- it says nothing about the patient's competence to otherwise deal with their life -- and i am not suggesting that a relative therefore has a right to "take over" -- just simply that sometimes it really can help to have someone who cares about you there to advocate on your behalf. </p>

<p>and i say all this as someone who really does sympathize with what you are going thru. when i was in college i had a "mono type" virus -- that meant the mono tests kept coming back negative, but i was sick as a dog. and i know how passive i allowed myself to be in the process because i simply felt like crap and just kept hoping they'd figure out what it was and make me feel better. it took a relative making some phone calls to help me find out that the antibiotic they put me on was actually making me feel even worse!! it took other people telling me that when someone drew blood, my entire arm shouldn't end up black and blue for me to realize to say something when the same incompetent person kept trying to draw my blood for additional blood tests. normally, i was not the type of person to put up with things, but i was sick and just needed some help making sure i was getting what i should out of the health center.</p>

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<p>[mom mode]Meeting your boyfriend's parents and attending that concert that your boyfriend is in are both less important than getting yourself caught up with your academic work. A really good case could be made for skipping both events and devoting whatever energy you have exclusively to your studio art assignments and that paper you have to write.[/mom mode]</p>

<p>[regular person mode]It's your life, and you have to set your own priorities.[/regular person mode]</p>

<p>Choose one of the above.</p>

<p>If I were your parent, I would be kind of startled that you had been sick for so long and hadn't said anything. I might say something stupid or inappropriate in the initial phone call. But I would get used to it in a day or two, and I think your parents will, too.</p>

<p>Both of my kids are in college. One tends to keep medical issues to himself for significant periods of time before calling me. The other calls me immediately, regardless of how routine the medical issue. It has taken me some time to get used to this difference. I think parents would generally prefer to be "in the loop" from the beginning because we can be of more assistance to our kids that way. </p>

<p>I'm with bethievt. I actually prefer nurse practitioners because I think they do a terrific job of patient education. However, their forte is routine cases. Camellia may have crossed the threshold of medical weirdness (because of the length of her illness) where a physician would be the more appropriate caregiver at this point.</p>

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<p>
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Does the fact that I'm not eighteen (my birthday is November 29) make any difference here?

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YES! It makes a world of difference! My d, not yet 18 (she is now), got sick during orientation. She went to the health service. They called me before they would give her an antibiotic. They needed my consent.</p>

<p>SInce you are not yet 18, your mother (or father) must be involved. I'm surprised they would even take blood or do other tests without parental consent! While no one likes "helicoptering", your mother needs to see to it that they're not withholding tests or treatments just because they don't want to deal with her.</p>

<p>And they can talk to her about everything and tell her what they're doing and what they're not doing and why.</p>

<p>Don't think about it as helicoptering. Think about it as being a patient advocate. And no one can do it better than we parents can!</p>

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<p>cami:</p>

<p>not to worry about your mom calling. Dick's House needs more parents to rattle their door for two reasons, IMO: 1) not many 17/18 year olds can successfully negotiate the gauntlet of the heathcare system; 2) college health clinics are staffed by folks well-versed in public health. While not a negative per se, public health does teach that a high % of whatever ails a teenager will go away without treatment. Thus, depending on the clinic, any treatment can be minimalist (for example, waiting a couple of days before prescribing an antibiotic), in contrast to some health care providers who may be more aggressive when viewing the same symptoms.</p>

<p>Of course, minimalist, conservative treatment can be an anaethema in a quarter system, where literally one does not have time to get sick.</p>

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<p>Dear OP:</p>

<p>If you can't hear our copter blades whirring, you're not listening! Of course your mom is worried. We're concerned about you and we've never even met. Sounds like you're doing the right things. Please remember to sleep, drink water and eat good food, including a little happy food, like chocolate or ice cream. Thanks for keeping us posted.</p>

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<p>C, I hope you can find the source of your problem soon. I know how frustrating it can be to be sick for so long. I had repeated bouts of sore throat freshman year in college. I finally had to have my tonsils out ... problem solved. Presurgery, though, I had to drag my sick body to school & push through the schoolwork when I felt awful. I know what you are going through. I hung in there, but my grades weren't exactly stellar (we were not allowed to drop classes). </p>

<p>More recently, my H was very sick with what seemed like a bad cold or perhaps the flu (terrible headache, on/off lowgrade fever, sore throat, cough, dizziness). After several days he went to his doctor, who diagnosed him with a bad sinus infection --- something H hadn't even considered. It took two courses of antibiotics & 3 weeks for him to finally feel decent.</p>

<p>Keep insisting on a definitive diagnosis. Only YOU know how you feel. Make sure you help the health care provider truly understand what is going on. I hope you feel better soon!!</p>

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<p>I'm tired and working on a paper, but:</p>

<p>I spoke to my mother again; she was calmer than last time.
I've decided to drop anthropology and focus on my other two classes, sleep, and getting better.
My boyfriend's uncle, who is a nurse and lives nearby, is helping me with dealing with the health center and interpreting my (rather ambiguous) test results.
I'm going to the health center again for more blood tests sometime between tomorrow and Wednesday.</p>

<p>Sigh. I'll keep you updated.</p>

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<p>Really glad to hear you have a support person to help you deal with the medical community. If nothing else, it will make things seem less stressful and that helps a lot. Going down to 2 classes sounds like a good idea too. Keep a water bottle with you and stay hydrated.</p>

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<p>I haven't read this whole thread, so forgive me if I'm repeating anything. When I was in college, I had a sudden, serious (and somewhat mysterious) viral infection that caused a permanent disability. It was never life threatening, ultimately not treatable or reversible, and though I deal with the disability just fine, it would be nice not to have it. My college's health center pretty much dismissed my symptoms as a bad cold.</p>

<p>My parents were never involved until the college sent me home to see a specialist two weeks into the illness (college in rural area, home in large city). I was left to deal with it on my own, and I was sick and scared. Their intervention would not have prevented the disability, but they could have given me much-needed support, and a parental voice would have made the college stand up and take notice as I got sicker and sicker. (I should add that by that point in my life I was pretty much conditioned not to ask for parental support. I was the Responsible Child.)</p>

<p>So my perspective from the other side: Your parents may drive you crazy on some level (as mine did), but in the process, you will begin to establish those all-important boundaries that define an adult relationship with them. Ideally, they'll learn how to offer appropriate, respectful, but loving support to their adult "child," and you'll be more comfortable letting them know when you need it.</p>

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<p>MY son is also at D - and has been sick since a DOC trip. He seemed to finally be getting better after going to Dick's House a few weeks ago- but called tonite briefly as he's been running a high fever for the last two days. His computer broke and is in repair - and I don't want to wake him up in case he is sleeping - but obviously I can't sleep. I am worried about him. What should I do as I live 1,000 miles away? Should I contact his RA? Should i call Dick's House tomorrow?
Who is in loco parentis in this type of situation?</p>

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<p>I don't know who is best to contact at D. At my daughter's school, I know that I could call the Dean of Students & he would be right on it. I think it might be a good idea to start with the RA. He would know if there is someone you should be talking with. </p>

<p>I understand how you feel, and I hope your son is feeling better even as I write this. However, I also know that there are some nasty viruses out there. You are right to be worried. College kids are still teens, so many are sure nothing will happen to them ... actually, many adults are like that, too! I don't think I would jump on a plane at this point. I would definitely find out if an adult at D can step in & check on your son, though.</p>

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<p>phase2, why don't you contact Gail Zimmerman -- she's the First-Year Dean. She is very approachable. The phone number is 603 646-2681.</p>

<p>From</a> the First-Year Dean</p>

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<p>I don't know how I missed this thread, but here's some more good motherly wishes for you, C. I hope they can find out soon what the story on this is for you.....and that you feel better soon. I'm sure that trying to get more rest and living in a dorm don't go too well together. I hope you have some calming instrumental music to listen to on your IPOD while you sleep to drown out the extraneous noises. Maybe if you can schedule in some short "naps" during the day, it will help you have some more energy. Hang in there!</p>