Wesleyan is on the larger end of the spectrum for a LAC (~3000 total students). The “dating” situation is not much different there for the “hetero-normative” population (a bit of Wesleyan vernacular) than it is for the LGBTQ community: Chances are, no matter who you go out with, you will share a large number of the same friends, making break-ups kind of awkward. That’s one of the trade-offs involved with being part of a tight-knit community. Anywhere else in the country, the entire state of Connecticut would be considered one major metropolitan area; it’s one of the smallest, most densely populated states in the union. Neighboring LACs, including Trinity and Connecticut colleges, share strikingly beautiful, tree-shaded campuses within minutes of major interstates, an airport, and commuter rails, half-way between New York and Boston.
For midwest, I’d say Macalester, then consider adding Lawrence University and Beloit, thought they don’t hit the “access to big city” factor. Lawrence is in Appleton, which is a smaller city with charms, and is about 90 min from Milwaukee which is vibrant city with terrific arts, music (and craft beer). Beloit is about 45 min from Madison, WI, one of the great college towns, and about 2 hours to Chicago. Lawrence and Beloit both offer merit.
We did not really face the financial music with our LAC kid until late spring of junior year when we realized we could not mange our full pay status so kid had to get merit aid to make it work. Those visits to Vassar, Haverford and the NESCAC schools were, in hindsight, wasted (though Conn Coll apparently does offer some limited merit awards now).
Just to clarify… Based on OP preferences Trinity College is a school I would definitely avoid . Connecticut College unlike Wesleyan has no frats but Wes is probably (and ironically) a better alternative…
Earlham was mentioned already and is a great option - tops in STEM fields, no Greek Life, and really good merit money. In a small city, but in the crossroads between several large metropolitan areas, and students interact frequently with opportunities and “fun” in Indianapolis (approx. 1 hour) and Dayton (30 or 40 minutes) away. Classes frequently make trips to those cities and some clubs provide regular opportunities as well. Many students have a car and neither city is a long drive.
I’m not fire how anyone can give recommendations without test scores.
Why would you say to avoid Trinity College?
Florida is definitely NOT on the list, both because it’s in the south, and because it will be under water before my kid graduates! I was really looking midwest, northeast, not just east, sorry.
The no frats thing is a definite preference, non-negotiable. That’s why I included that information in my original post. No frats.
Sorry I don’t have test scores yet, but all previous standardized tests have put this kid at the 99th percentile in math, writing, reading, science, etc. Unless something on the SAT goes haywire I expect 1400 minimum, probably higher. Weighted GPA is currently 4.6. But… with my first kid who had 1550 SAT and 3.8 unweighted GPA, he got into NONE of his reaches, and NONE of his matches, only one safety. We are from Alaska, which hurts us badly; schools do not want our kids unless they’re number one in the class. Then the kid meets their geographic quota. So trying to find some safeties that are really workable if that’s all he gets into.
I guess I should say also, that we’re a one income family, so need aid is critical, and will be even more so with two in school. That’s not something we had to worry about with no. 1 who got both need and merit aid. Our lack of wealth probably hurt his getting into the better schools though, as well as our geography; they want rich parents to pay full and donate even more.
http://talk.qa.collegeconfidential.com/college-search-selection/1956395-colleges-with-no-greek-life-p1.html is an older discussion about colleges without fraternities and sororities.
If the criterion is absolute (i.e. 0% of students), then it may be tricky to meet and very limiting. Some colleges do not have any campus recognized fraternities and sororities, but unrecognized off-campus ones may exist. A few private colleges go further and prohibit students from joining any, even off-campus ones.
Interpretations of the Common Data Set section F1 question “percent of men who join fraternities” may vary. For example, Princeton reports 0% ( https://registrar.princeton.edu/university_enrollment_sta/common_cds_2017-2018.pdf ), but there are off-campus fraternities and sororities, and Princeton prohibits only frosh from participating in them ( https://odus.princeton.edu/community-standards/statement-fraternities-and-sororities ), presumably meaning that more than 0% of students are in them. The 0% presumably was interpreted to mean campus-recognized fraternities and sororities, of which there are none.
Neither of my kids had any interest in Greek life, in fact had an aversion to it. One went to a school with none, the other to a school that had it, but it was not dominant socially. The one at the school with Greek life felt no pressure to join, had tons of friends and social activities without it (non-drinking), and didn’t really feel like it made much difference in her experience. Only telling you this to point out that there are schools with frats/sororities where a lot of students don’t participate and they don’t have very much impact on student life. Sometimes hard and fast requirements can keep you from looking at schools that could be a very good fit for your kid.
And you are VERY mistaken about being from Alaska. Many schools want to brag about how many states they have kids from, and they get few applicants from states like Alaska. Your kid’s options are enhanced, not limited by adding geographic diversity. Now…the top few schools want kids who are #1 in their class no matter where they are from. So if you are just talking about places like Harvard or Stanford, that has nothing to do with being from Alaska. Without knowing more about your #1 kid’s search, it is hard to say why they didn’t get in – possibly their matches weren’t really matches, or there was something else in the app that put schools off somehow. But it wasn’t the geography. That should be a boost.
You are also not entirely correct on the lack of wealth hurting. At least at schools that meet need (the top 40 or so schools, I’d estimate), they are also need blind. Unless a student’s family makes enough to donate millions (and hence they are a development hook - of which there are very few), your wealth or lack thereof won’t make a difference. In fact, a lower socio-economic status can be seen favorably by admissions if your kid has managed to be very accomplished.
@warblersrule I noticed your insightful comments upthread and am hoping you might have thoughts to share. My transmasc child with interest in biology is considering Brandeis for enrollment this fall. We’ll be attending the admitted students day this weekend and will be as attentive to fit as we can be. Do you have specific suggestions or ideas about what we might look into while we’re there? Thanks!