<p>Hi everybody,</p>
<p>Now that the prescreen wait is over, we're trying to figure out how much we should be involved in getting our 21-year-old son to some of the auditions. He'll do SFCM alone, but auditions in Chicago, Cleveland and Ann Arbor will be very tricky to get to. Trains and buses leave at horrible times, and involve transfers, layovers, and bad arrival times. It could be done, but it would be nerve-racking and not allow for much, if any, practice time. The alternative is for his parents to take four days off from work (we live in North Dakota) which we can do, to pick him up in Minneapolis and drive to these three auditions. That will take the strain off our S, who will be able to fit some practice in at hotel rooms in evenings, and not have to worry about logistics. It will cost more to do this (lots of gas, eating out, additional hotel rooms as opposed to overnight train/bus rides), but I feel we should do this, although I have doubts. I welcome your input. Should he, at 21, just be asked to handle this the best he can without us?</p>
<p>Just our experience…but our D did all her travel to grad school auditions on her own. This included cross country flights, unfamiliar areas, wintery (aka scary) conditions. It was all on her nickel, though she consulted me on the best way to book cheap airline fares and hotels, but that’s about the extent of my help. I found it frustrating but it was time for her to put her “big girl” pants on. Toughest day was the trip from Ann Arbor to Cincinnati in 24 hrs during hellacious weather. Two things that it did teach her: anything can happen and winter in the Midwest is not fun. Time to come back to California.</p>
<p>But YMMV. Everyone has different levels of independence and maturity at that age.</p>
<p>I might be inclined to suggest that if he can manage the schedule. I am guessing it would not be too bad to get to Chicago from anywhere. Once there, I have transit info that may assist you:</p>
<p>Look into Megabus – It goes directly from Chicago to Ann Arbor and is both faster and cheaper than traditional options. (This service is kinda geared to Umich students.) Eg. about $15 - seriously! Here’s the link: [megabus.com</a> | Now serving over 30 million bus customers in North America](<a href=“http://us.megabus.com/]megabus.com”>http://us.megabus.com/)</p>
<p>It also goes DIRECTLY from Ann Arbor to Cleveland.
So I think your son will be in much better shape than you think if he uses these direct routes instead of the normal hither-and-yon public transit approach 
Best wishes!</p>
<p>My daughter has only one travel-to audition, in LA , and I wanted to go with her just for an excuse to go to southern California in February… but it was expensive and would have been awkward for us, coming from different places, so she’s hoofing it, er, winging it on her own. I am really going to miss being with her on auditions this time–four years ago it was a blast (for me.)</p>
<p>I think it is always good to go with a goal of long term versus short term independence. In other words, if getting there in time to practice adequately is more easy to achieve if you go, and helps him get in to a school he wants to go to, then I think that is a long term independence benefit from your short term presence, if that makes sense.</p>
<p>Now,if going on his own is important to your son, that’s a different story, but I don’t get that sense.</p>
<p>I also think it is nice if you and your husband both go. One on one is more intense for the kids. That way, you and your husband are taking a trip together and the focus can be less on him. I mean, you can tell him you are doing something fun while he auditions, or even meet at the end of the day at the hotel, that kind of thing.</p>
<p>If you guys are comfortable basically being transportation and can compartmentalize that function from functions that he might reject (like guidance and suggestions) all the better, although he can set the tone. </p>
<p>If he welcomes your presence, I don’t see any problem with that and it certainly won’t in any way prevent future independence and could even foster it in the long run.</p>
<p>HEY glassharmonica—if she needs a heads up on negotiating the airport, how to get about or even an emergency contact. Just PM me. Good luck to her.</p>
<p>I agree with Compmom…it is basically your students call as far as his comfort level. But your call as far as affordability.
I would have LOVED to go along with my D on her grad auditions. Even with that awful weather. I had a blast on those undergrad trips.</p>
<p>Thanks for your thoughtful responses. Earlier today, my S checked out the bus options, including Megabus, which he has used before, and came up with a plan for doing the three schools on his own. It would work, but he decided to take us up on our offer. He wants to be as rested and prepared as he can be, and our involvement will make that more possible. He’ll be on his own for SFCM, and all next year and into the future. Over the break, we’ve been happy to witness evidence of maturation and increased focus. Special thanks to compmom for her gentle wisdom and big-picture thinking, as always.</p>
<p>Thanks, Musica! I will take you up on that!</p>
<p>I think you’re fine, onekidmama, go and enjoy the time with your son! My D invited me to go along on for her grad school auditions since several of the trips involved long drives in nasty weather and she is not comfortable driving in heavy snow, wind and ice- and I will admit that one of the trips was absolutely horrid with near-blizzard conditions and road closures. She was in the middle of her senior year and preparing a major role as well as readying her Senior Recital, it was far easier for me to handle the hotel and flight reservations.
After she made her final decisions, she made several trips to the city to apartment hunt and has become a pro at searching out great airfares and navigating mass transit! If your daughter or son wants you to accompany them and you’re able to do so, by all means go along and make some memories!</p>
<p>If I could go with my daughter, I’d love to. Have fun with your son, onekidmama!</p>
<p>I would love to go along to grad auditions with my son. The undergraduate audition season was just such a wonderful time–he and I had so much fun together. But, it wouldn’t work out here either–I’m in the Midwest and he’s on the East coast and he’ll be either making several flights to the west coast or taking trains around the east. I did do the booking of flights, shuttles and hotels for him, though, for many of the auditions. I’m sure he could have handled that responsibility just fine, though. Always amazing how fast they grow up…</p>
<p>Oh, and good to hear from you again onekidmama. I do think you’ll probably be driving through part of my state during your travels. :)</p>
<p>Onekidmama, I totally agree with your decision and agree with compmom and Mezzo’sMama. So glad to hear that you and your husband will be there to help and support your son during what is probably a very stressful time. You should feel LUCKY. I bet your son feels lucky and relieved to know that he can focus on his auditions!! Best wishes to him!! (Which school is he auditioning at in Cleveland?)</p>
<p>Thanks for all the support, everyone! I just love this place. Symphonhyart, he’s auditioning at CIM. He’ll do DePaul the day before, and the University of Michigan two days after CIM. He’ll do his SFCM audition by himself (would have LOVED to go on that one, but that was not possible). Clarimom, I’ll think of you on this trip!</p>