Getting your date swiped-can anyone relate?

Pre-College Topics High School Life
1

<p>Agggh this is so frustrating.</p>

<p>So these past couple months I've sort of fallen for this girl. We're in the play together. We get along really well. We have similar interests, etc.</p>

<p>So, before the hurricane, the semi formal dance was going to be in december. They pushed it back to january. Okay. Fine.</p>

<p>Anyway, so in the past couple weeks, I had thought about asking this girl to semi. I'm really shy, and I've never gone to a legit dance in high school.</p>

<p>Oh, also should throw out the fact that I'm a Senior and she's a freshman. A bit awkward because we're three years apart, but I knew that she was somewhat into me and figured that she'd say yes.</p>

<p>So today I asked one of her friends if she thought it would be weird if I asked said girl to the dance. Her friend said no, and that she would find out if the girl of interest already had a date. </p>

<p>So the friend gets back to me and tells me that she does have a date in fact. She was single, so it was just a friend. But I mean....the dance is in mid January. Someone asked her out to semi more than two months beforehand??? ***? I thought I would be early asking a month and a half ahead?</p>

<p>I mean, maybe he asked her a month before the original dance, but still, a month beforehand is pretty long!!!</p>

<p>Regardless, the friend told me that the girl of interest told that guy that she would go with him.</p>

<p>This really blows. I mean there's always prom and everything, but seriously, I'm ****ed as hell. Mostly because I feel helpless. I have zero power over this situation. Zero. I know that the "early bird gets the worm" but for god's sakes I got completely blindsided. And I thought I was asking too early!!!!</p>

<p>Has this ever happened to anyone on here? I know that I can't be the only one. Do you have any advice? I mean it's kind of stupid to even ask that because basically I just have to cope with the loss and accept defeat. Sigh.</p>

2

<p>And it’s not like I could have asked earlier because I’ve only known her for 2 months! Oh the agony :(</p>

3

<p>Or…you could ask her and make her choose between the friend and you >:)</p>

4

<p>But…she said yes to that guy. Wouldn’t it be a jerk move if I just asked her…when she already has a date…and then she dumps him? Could you imagine being that guy?</p>

5

<p>But he doesn’t need to know you know. </p>

<p>I agree with Niquii. You never know until you find out.</p>

6

<p>But she knows! Well you know what I mean. If I ask her, she already said yes to him. Then she has to approach him and be like “Uh sorry, but someone else asked me…” and then just dump him. Does anybody else see what I’m trying to say or are these people right and I’m just being an asinine defeatist?</p>

7

<p>If someone really likes you, then he/she will be available; if he/she is not available, then take the hint & move on.</p>

8

<p>It seems that the other guy is just a friend, I’ve gone to dances with guy friends SOLELY because I didn’t have a “real” date. Ask her. The worst that could happen is if she says no. And if it seems she likes you, she won’t think you’re weird or anything.</p>

9

<p>Ask her. Be the jerk. Get your woman.</p>

10

<p>First of all, she’s not “your date”, I don’t know why you would assume that. She hasn’t made any legitimate indication she wants to go with you. You also said you’re shy. It’s understandable that you’re frustrated, but don’t start getting mad. You have no one to be mad at. This was entirely your “fault”. YOU didn’t ask her. Not that she said no, YOU didn’t even ask.</p>

<p>It’s completely normal for people to ask two months in advance. You need to buy a dress/suit, arrange a ride, get tickets, all that business. Also, you’re a senior asking a freshman. A special situation like this needs early notice between the both of you. She probably didn’t assume you’d ask her. </p>

<p>This is a normal social situation where you just say oh well and deal with the fact that you didn’t initiate things.</p>

11

<p>Man up and ask her. The other guy doesn’t know that you know. This has happened to me before.</p>

12

<p>Haha I was in a position last year that paralleled yours in a few ways- girl was in a different grade (I was 11th, she was 12th), I asked her friend and she said she was going with somebody already, I had never been to a formal and I didn’t want it to be weird or anything. My story ended well, so maybe it can help you : ).</p>

<p>So the event was the Junior-Senior Banquet (my school’s version of prom, except there is no dancing or anything) and one Thursday night about a month before, I dreamt of asking this one senior, then the plan formulated and I was set on it. I met with a friend over Juice-It-Up after a week and we talked for two hours over our plans, of which I had made elaborate (if I was going to do this, it was going to be special). At that meeting we texted each other’s preferred dates, as they were best friends, and asked of their availability (kind of funny- we each texted the girl we wanted to take about her friend’s availability simultaneously). Both turned up as no, with mine being a, “I’m sorry, but she’s planning on going with a senior.”</p>

<p>A week passed and Spring break started. She traveled to Texas to check out one of the schools she was accepted to. I realized that even if I could not take her to formal, telling her how I WOULD have asked her would at least be worth some happiness for her. I also wanted so much for things to change because I couldn’t imagine planning so much for anyone else. So I typed out a 1200-1400 word facebook message telling her how I was going to ask her, down to the note and poem that I was going to include (yes, I wrote a poem : P). I sent this on a Wednesday, with the event 9 days away, but she didn’t get home to read it until Monday, which was four days before.</p>

<p>She read it and was flattered and said that the one Senior actually chickened out from asking her and that she was in fact now open and would love to go with me. Also, that she was excited to see how I was going to ask. Ok, so it was now Monday night at 11:00 P.M. and I had given up on asking her several days prior so had nothing prepared, but I hyped up how I was going to with over a thousand words. Haha crunch time proceeded. </p>

<p>I wrote a new poem, made arrangements to buy clothespins in the morning (sort of an inside thing to involve these, but I pasted out the sentence “Will you go to formal with me?” “Yes!” “No!” on six different clothespins and attached them to her car antennae), and actually physically ran about a mile to grocery stores in the morning to pick up a bouquet to accompany the poem and clothespin messages and the asking of office ladies to send her to her car during the one class I had with her (advanced math- I asked the teacher if I could just be absent the first half of class so I could set that all up). Anyways, she said yes and the night was great! If you do, you gotta ask in a special way, it makes everything that much better.</p>

<p>Hmm lemme find the poem–
Title: Journey… With Me?</p>

<p>Will you be with me on that day,
To eat, laugh, smile and play,
To journey with a friend sincere,
In a land of happiness, not fear,
May the night be forever told,
As one of memories that will never grow old,
Your hand I ask, if you be willing,
To seek out a night, fun and fulfilling!</p>

<p>The purpose of this, other than any entertainment, was to give you some ideas or hope even. You can PM me and I can see if I have the entire message that I sent to her. None of this was weird or taken the wrong way- partly because it was only done out of friendship and not wanting or desiring anything more : ).</p>

13

<p>^ Awww that`s so sweet! :)</p>

14

<p>In blunt terms: You just gotta go for it. Can’t wait and get left behind. I did that, it wasn’t good. You’ve got nothing to lose. </p>

<p>Time to be Mr. Steal yo gurl.</p>

15

<p>Just a forewarning to go along with the people encouraging you to “just take her back” or whatever: she can still say no. In fact, if she already made plans with someone else she will probably not want to be rude and call them off on your account. Don’t forget about the possibility that she might even be into the guy she is going with. “But they aren’t dating!” Neither are you and her yet here you are. So what it boils down to is that if you want any chance at all you’d better ask her, but keep in mind that nothing is certain and you may not know her as well as you thought. Maybe it turns out, maybe it doesn’t.</p>

16

<p>Just remember, someone’s happiness isn’t worth more than anyone else’s. So I personally wouldn’t do it knowing I’d be screwing with both of them.</p>

17

<p>First shoot the guy then comfort the girl in her sadness.</p>

18

<p>^Do that, but don’t get caught. Stage it flawlessly.</p>

19

<p>I thought that was a given</p>

20

<p>Some good advice here…</p>

<p>Just an update for those who are interested, she might know what’s up. Or at least have a hint of what I intended to do. Apparently, her friend sort of casually might have told her. Not really sure…</p>

<p>Either way we’re talking more now than we even were before. Maybe this is just a coincidence, or maybe it’s a sign of things to come…idk. I’m cautiously optimistic. Still not sure whether to ask her to the dance though…maybe I’ll ask her out? We’ll see how things turn out I guess.</p>