@WorryHurry411, if you have a plan, the gap year can leave time for some real maturation. With no plan, I wouldn’t recommend it. Nonetheless, it was quite beneficial to my son. We suggested it to my daughter as well, but she was so excited about her new school that she declined (and then transferred at the end of the first semester).
Dual enrollment and/or early college are both great options. Your public school system will pay for several years of college. Our son did fine while dual enrolled - he started at 14- (no HS classes) but logistics and organization were issues. He ended up taking a gap year, went to college in the UK for 8 mo and graduated at 19. Another friend dual enrolled her son at 12, (he is extremely gifted, and was talking college math classes while in middle school). Same issues with logistics but more so. He is now almost 20 and about to graduate with a double major in math theory and CS, but will probably stay on for a Ph.D.
Neither lived away from home until they were 18. I would be very hesitant to send a 16 year old off unless she is extremely mature. No matter how advanced they are intellectually, their brains seem to follow the same slow emotional growth pattern.
The gap year can be very positive. Our son was burned out from school and worked in a restaurant. That experience inspired him to finish college and he did extremely well.
My son’s gap year was necessary. He never would have made it in his college if he’d gone straight out of high school.
When I have posted about “social” concerns I’m not just or even primarily talking about college friendships, parties, frats/sororities, clubs etc. There are other social skills that are important in different realms that are very closely aligned to academics, work & internship opportunities, and future career. It involves having the interpersonal skills to work with effectively with faculty along the way, and open the doors to other opportunities, such as research opportunities or applications for fellowships – and down the line securing letters of recommendation for jobs, fellowships, grad school.
A student can do very well academically – attend class regularly, do all of the assigned reading, do well on exams, etc. – and still miss out on all sorts of opportunities simply because they don’t have the interpersonal skills make an impression on school’s faculty and administration.
This is a factor of personality as much as age and maturity – but it is important - and I think that it’s very possible that parents who perceive a strict dichotomy between academics v. social life may be the ones who also fail to understand that much of academic success is a function of social skills. (Which might also be described as “networking” … though it’s not always a function of deliberate planning on the part of the student who has built stronger social connections with faculty)
My daughter is on the younger side of her peers, 17 for her first semester in college. Academically fine, socially one step behind. She is a little shy, but I can always see the difference in her after 6 months in a situation. When she was in high school, I didn’t even realize that she couldn’t go to R rated movies with her friends as she was always the youngest, and yes, they do check. Many of her friends were a year behind her in school, so they were the same age as her. I always regret having her start K early.
As calmom said, it is not the school work that matters. It’s the little life things. When she first got to college as a 17 year old, she was really overwhelmed by the other freshmen who were 18 or 19, and forget about the 21 year olds. when I was 17 and started college, I thought I was 25 and whoa be the one who questioned my ability to do anything (except all the things I really couldn’t do like vote, rent a car, or buy alcohol - although I’d been buying it since I was 15 and it really wasn’t a problem). Different personality, but now that I look back I missed out on a lot of growing up because I grew up too fast. I don’t think going to school early was good for either of us.
It can be hard to figure out a “gap year” for a gifted kid. Too young for many things- not adult/legal age and need to keep brain stimulated. Hence college can be a good place. Perhaps because my son went through middle and high school with the cohort he started college with he was in tune with them. He had a great social group with the 120 boys and girls in CC during HS. There will always be pros and cons to every decision. Harder when outside the 2 standard deviations of the norms.
One problem with dual enrollment is that it’s actual college – and it usually involves a college that isn’t particularly impressive, academically, such as a local community college or directional state college.
Highly capable students who take a lot of dual enrollment courses get a large chunk of their college education from colleges that are not very rigorous. They also enter full-time college as upperclassmen, not freshmen, which means that they miss out on the typical college experience that many young people value.
So ironically, what happens is that extremely capable Jane ends up taking half of her college credits at a community college while she’s in high school and then enters X university as a junior and finishes up her degree in two years. She never really becomes part of the X university community because she’s there for such a short time. She also doesn’t fit in well with the classmates in her upper-division courses because she’s younger than they are (notably, she can’t drink legally and they can, which is even more of a problem at that age than R movies and driver’s licenses are for accelerated students in high school). Meanwhile, slightly less capable John, who doesn’t take any dual enrollment courses, goes to the same university in the normal manner, gets a more rigorous education, and has a better social experience at college.
But @Marian, it’s not either/or. You’ve mentioned your own disappointing educational experience many times, and I’m sorry it didn’t go well for you. But because DE is so popular in my area, I know MANY people who did exactly as you desrcibe but still had satisfying experiences with their 2 final years at a 4-year university, perfectly acceptable social lives, and felt they were challenged. Many don’t party, so drinking isn’t a thing for them.Many find fellow students who are older than they are who share their ideals.
I’ll restate that my D is at college at 16 and has been more than welcomed, has found “her people” and no one seems to care that she is younger than they are by 2 or more years. None of her good friends party, smoke weed or do any of the other things older students might be interested in doing. They have yet to see a movie. She’s already a part of her community. And so is the girl who is a good friend who is starting as an 18 yo junior because of CC.
It’s all about the individual student, what they want out of their education, and where they might do DE and/or finish college. Oh, and for some it’s about money. Here you can get an AA for free if you do it during HS. That allows some parents of more limited means to allow their kids better options for their bachelor’s degree.
If my son had gone to a FL college, his dual enrollment credits would indeed have made him a junior. However, going out of state, none of the credits transferred. Some colleges would have accepted a few, but not his UG.
^^ Absolutely, and this is a really important point.
I have mentioned some of my disappointing educational experiences, but college wasn’t one of them. I went to college as a freshman at 17, and I ended up at a college that had a lot of 17-year-old freshmen. It turned out fine socially and academically.
@WorryHurry411 I elected not to accelerate my child. However, had a cousin weighed in with an opinion, I probably would have gently and politely told him or her it was my husband’s and my decision, and we would of course make it with the best interests of our child in mind, and now, please do have more of Aunt Blanche’s potato salad and gosh, how about those Buckeyes?
Many kids enter a 4 years university as a freshman but with junior standing. Then they spend 4 years anyway, taking interesting and challenging electives, research opportunities, and double majors.
^ Or they pick up a Masters. And nobody says you absolutely have to utilize your DE credits. Extremely Capable Jane could simply forgo the DE credits and take the exact same classes Slightly Less Capable John takes if she wants to.
Really, in the US, higher ed is very much choose-your-own-adventure (unlike some countries which have more rigid higher ed systems).
Very well stated Twoinanddone.
Lots of great viewpoints here, so this may be redundant, but I’ll throw in a few tidbits anyway.
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I started college at Simon’s Rock (a zillion years ago) and I think it’s an amazing, unique place which can be a godsend for a very particular kind of student. What I typically tell people is that they advertise themselves with the whole “why wait to go to college?” we’re-here-for-your-gifted-kid approach, but you must understand that most 15- and 16-year-olds who opt to go to a school like this aren’t just gifted, they’re maladapted for one reason or another (including myself in that, btw – no judgment). It’s a population with a higher-than-average segment of kids who’ve experienced real abuse/trauma, are “different” in ways other than simply intellect, and lots of mental illness (much of it undiagnosed). At least that’s how it was when I was there. For a kid whose needs are simply intellectual, I’d be wary. I echo others who suggest visiting.
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I have two 2E kids (meaning, they are both profoundly gifted but also learning/developmentally disabled in various ways), and one would’ve crashed and burned if accelerated to college early and the other skipped a grade/dual-enrolled and has been better for it. This is highly individual.
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To follow on the last point, I think a huge portion of deciding situations like this must be based both on what the student thinks they want and what their proven stress tolerance is. Sending a kid to college who doesn’t want to go is clearly a recipe for disaster. Keeping a kid home who’s absolutely ready and resilient could also be. But what about the kid who wants to go but has a track record of not managing stress well…? That’s where it’s time to get creative. Some 16-year-olds are ready for college and some 20-year-olds aren’t. For parents finding themselves in that “let’s make a deal” window of student readiness vs. parent worry, that’s when it’s time to get serious about school fit. How far away is it? How big is it? Single-sex? Supports in place? Etc.
Best of luck to your friends in figuring it out. Personally, I’d stress that any decision is “the right decision for right now.” If/when it stops being the right decision, you make a new one. Very little is forever.
Halfway through my kindergarten year, they moved me to the 1st grade classroom (it was going to be 2nd, but I would’ve been in my older sister’s class and they didn’t want to do that to either of us). So for my entire life I’ve been basically lapped in age by my peers in terms of getting my license, driving past the curfew for minors, turning 18-- my two best friends will be 21 next month before I am 20.
I am really just barely a year younger than my peers and it is a real PITA. Doable, but any bigger gap would be kind of terrible.
I also don’t think 16 is ready for a full year away at college.
Would recommend changing schools or trying DE until the time comes, could even try online courses in classes she’s interested in. Get more involved in EC’s if she has free time.
There are several posts that show how 16 is NOT too young for college (including one of mine). There are parents who feel their 18 year old is not ready for college. Those 16 year olds who have spent middle and HS with the peer group heading off to college is far more ready than the student who skips one or more of those years. Yes, there will be age related differences but that is the nature of being gifted. No reason to force a child to be with age mates, needing to be bored and not forge ahead has its own problems.
Just as bad to be held back and not be allowed to forge ahead academically. Gee- you can’t take calculus because you aren’t old enough???
Poster in #55- you are doing better than you think if you have older good friends. Your maturity level fits theirs even if you can’t bar hop when they do.
Many students who enter as frosh with many college courses taken while in high school stay the entire four years and have the typical (for that college) college experience socially. But some of the courses that they take are more advanced ones than most frosh take. In some cases, that may result in completing subject requirements for their majors and/or general education requirements earlier, leaving them more room for free electives to take additional courses of interest in or out of major (or a second major), or more time to do undergraduate research.
@thumper1 :On Simon’s Rock, “It’s a very different place”
It is indeed! And it is not for everyone, but may be for your child. She would be surrounded by other highly motivated, highly focused students, the most of whom are not afraid to take full advantage of their newfound freedom as rather-like-college-students away from home.
The students I met there were, quite simply, some of the most motivated, educated and focused young people I have known. And yet one could see, and sense, their tendencies to be…interior-minded/introverted/scholarly and at peace with alone-time.
Early College could be something that helps your daughter to find a place in the world where she is allowed to grow and thrive, and not be expected to be anything other than a high school student.
Re the student going into university with sophomore/junior status and studying 4 years there for a degree (or situations like this)… Virginia state supported schools by law are required to charge a tuition surcharge for credit hours taken after they have taken 125% of the degree requirements for their program. I realize many/most on CC aren’t looking at VA state schools but posted as a caution that other non-privates may have a similar rule.