Gifted dyslexia BS recommendations? (First post)

Prep School Admissions Prep School Parents
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Part 2: From Greenwood.org

Reasonable Expectations
Obviously, the best way to learn about a school is to visit. By visiting a school, you can see beyond the glossy marketing materials, and really get a sense of the school’s culture. You can discover if the students are happy, and witness firsthand the interactions between the teachers and students. It is also strongly recommended that you visit more than one school so that there is a basis for comparison—and always visit when school is in session. While there are many important things to inquire about during a school visit, the following topics for discussion are specific to schools that work with students who have learning disabilities:

• It is very appropriate to inquire how the admissions staff determines if the school is a good match for your son or daughter. The admissions officer should be able to clearly communicate how the school’s program will remediate weaknesses while giving your child an opportunity to develop his or her strengths. Remember you are interviewing the school as much as the school is interviewing your child.

• Considering the spectrum of learning disabilities, the admissions officer should explain what populations the school does and does not work with in the areas of cognitive potential, achievement in skill areas (i.e. reading, written language, math, etc.), social development, and behavior.

• It is important to have an understanding of the level of structure and support the school offers and the minimum expectations the school has of its students.

• Ensure that you fully understand the school’s mission (every school should have a mission statement).

• Ask how the school measures student progress. There should always be an objective, standardized measure of progress.

• Inquire about how the teachers (not just learning center teachers) are trained and what specific programs are utilized. It is always wise to observe a class to discover if these philosophies are practiced; it is crucial that schools do what they say they do.

• It is important that the school offer professional development opportunities to ensure that teachers are using the most effective, research-based instructional strategies.

• Consider what technology is available and incorporated into the program. Note: Technology is important, but it should not be the principal instrument for instruction.

• Inquire about and assess how individualized the program is.

• Examine how the school ensures that students reach a deeper understanding of how they learn, understand compensatory strategies they can use, and develop self-advocacy skills.

• Attempt to gain the perspective of a current student.

• Take the time to familiarize yourself with the school’s Student & Parent Handbook. This document outlines different school policies, procedures, and rules.

• Ask to contact a current parent; having the benefit of a current parent’s perspective of and experience with the school is invaluable.

• If possible, meet with the Head of School. This is the individual that is ultimately responsible for the educational program, the teachers, the school community, and, most importantly, for your child. It is necessary to recognize that what these schools can offer is opportunity. The most significant variable is the extent to which your child engages in the program and puts forth effort. Choosing a school is not an exact, scientific process. It has to feel right, and you have to trust your gut instinct. People are the heart and spirit of a school. When visiting, pay close attention to the intangible human factor—the extent to which the community of teachers, students, and staff enjoy each other and create a culture of caring, mutual respect, and possibility.

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Part 1:
HI. I’m posting this for future inquiries into Gow and Eagle HIll, Hardwick

Full disclaimer: my son is already at Gow, this is his first week as a boarder. We live in a rural place and didn’t have any other alternatives and they were able to find him a great roommate and place him in classes.

Also, I would like to make clear that my husband and I didn’t think Gow was better but we picked Gow because it was a better fit for our son. Admittedly, Gow did give us a harder sell and we tried to factor that in, i.e. Not influence us so much. When we were considering which school to send him to after our visits, I tried to level the playing field by gathering more info from EHS.

We first visited EHS, with the assumption that it was our first choice. Our tour and interview took about 3-3.5 hours long. The AO first interviewed our son, then met with just myself and my husband. We had a student take us on a tour, with the AO following around, then AO took over the tour when the student had to return to class. During the tour, we peeked into classrooms, tried to observe the classes (but the students clammed up), met students and staff. Afterwards, we returned to Admissions Office, where we all met with AO and then my child was asked to leave, so that the adults could speak w/o him present.

Maybe, my husband and I had high expectations when we arrived–I definitely was grateful that the AO had been answering my questions since December-but I felt that the vibe reminded me of my kid’s last school. PRogressive and innovative, some classes are non-traditional, I think one class was called Spycraft, another one was Gothic novels–past and present. EHS has a full-range of classes, IB program (if your kid is eligible), great facilities (def on par with a lot of the top boarding schools we visited for older son), dining stressed healthy and low-sugar, supervised study halls, friendly kids, etc. My kid really liked the variety of weekend activities offered. My husband did not like that the recommended monthly allowance for the weekend activities was $500. I felt that when I left, it was vague and I didn’t have a good grasp of what my kid was going to get there.

Since, we were considering both schools for my son to enter as an 8th grader, we were concerned about residential life for the middle schooler. EHS is 8th-12th grade. 8th graders are in the same dorm as 9th&10th. I asked questions about supervision, hanging out rules between upper classmen and lower classmen, girls and boys, etc. I didn’t find the answers satisfactory. Not that this in itself is a problem, but for our younger son, we know what he does and does not like. He presents young, he would have been one of the youngest at the whole school. The students we met seemed very mature and daring. Opposite in personality from our son. We wondered what occurred during free time. As far as academics, I would have liked to have sat in on a language remediation class or executive skills class. And we would have liked to have sat in on another academic class. We did see at least one student have a one-on-one class with a teacher. The school seemed to want to accommodate the student’s interests at the school both in the arts and academics. The art facilities were very nice as well.

I think if our son was older and more mature, had more self-discipline and/or focus on what he wanted to do or had an academic interest, we would have been happy to send him to EHS. We thought that we would let him choose. EHS was our son’s choice but when I asked him which school did he think would help him with the weaknesses he wanted to work on, he begrudgingly said Gow. Incidentally, older son is also looking at boarding schools, decisions arrive tomorrow, and that is the same question I have been asking him to think about.

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Part 2: The Gow visit

Ok, we felt that we were wined and dined very well by this school. Blown away by how much attention they put in our application, emails and phone calls. We found this out because at one point during the day, my husband and I commented that we couldn’t have met 3 students more perfect for our son to meet and we were told that that was planned on purpose. It was also an exhausting day.

We arrived at 9 am and did not leave until 4:30pm. Our son didn’t get much of a break. When we arrived at Admissions office, we were met by an AO, shown a schedule of our day (the day is what I would expect at a school revisit day at another school, this is the only school of the 10 I have toured this year, that gave this extensive of a tour). First we saw a language remediation class (it seemed like a regular class and the kids were speaking), we parted ways with our kid because Gow wanted him to take a language test. While he was at the test, we met up with the Director of AO and he went over application, we talked for awhile. It seemed to us that hey wanted to make sure we were the right family for them. I think if the parents aren’t comfortable with the rules and discipline, Gow wouldnt be a good fit. We then met up with our son at an assembly, which they have every day. When you are shown assemblies/chapel at the other schools, they are always empty and you try to visualize what it’s like when one is underway. It’s way more fun ( at least for a parent) to actually be part of one! We were able to see the diversity of the student body. We could immediately see that this would be a better place for our son. I think what we saw was self-discipline on the student’s part, good rapport with the teachers but still respectful of the adults. Our son’s self-perception that he is a cool kid seems to disregard that he is young. I think he overestimates (as all teens do) how well they can handle peer pressure, etc. I think that when we saw that rules that were in place were enforced and followed, we felt that this would be a safe place for our kid.

At lunch, we were paired and left to eat alone with 3 students who were the same age as our son, all three boys were told by their parents that they had to go to Gow after attending their summer session. All three seemed to genuinely be happy to be there. As I mentioned earlier, these 3 were very similar in personality to our kid. One of them is now his roommate. My husband and I could visualize our kid there. Our son told us later that he had no idea what we were talking about. From a kid’s point of view, two Gow characteristics would stand out as scary/intimidating. Dress code: jacket and tie 6 days/week and lots and lots of rules. Nobody is joking around about the rules. Even our boarding school consultant stressed this to me! When I brought my kid to Gow last weekend, in his dorm room, with me the only adult around, the kids stopped by to introduce and some re-introduced themselves. The repeated comment was be sure you are on time for classes. You will get leeway since you are new, but once the teachers realize you know where you’re suppose to be, life will be easier if you just get to where you’re suppose to be on time.

After lunch, we met with Mr. Rogers, the headmaster, it was an interview of all 3 of us, first separately then all together. Again, the question was is our family ok with the discipline and structure at Gow, as well as high expectations. Then our son took a math assessment. It was suppose to be a downtime for me and my husband, but I think this is where it turned for me. While I was waiting for him to test, Mr. Cotter, the Admissions Director came by to talk about his need to see a speech therapist. He didn’t know that I was just given this advice by a diagnostician for the first time the day before. Then Mr. Rogers came by, after seeing my son’s language test scores, what his ideas on my son’s individualization should look like. It’s that kind of attention to details that I felt was missing for my kid’s school career. Afterwards, we finally saw the whole campus led by a student. Facilities aren’t as great as EHS but more than adequate. The gym is great, low student to teacher ratio, technology in the classrooms, maker’s space, they have their own remediation program and continuing education for the teachers. The staff themselves admitted they had to do the remediation instructor training in order to work there.

Gow also encouraged me to talk to a current parent from the West Coast. That helped. Gow is very structured and at least for our kid, it is what he needs and what we felt more comfortable putting him in. So far so good, its been 4 days since I left him there. Reports from him and the teachers have been very encouraging. The only thing that I’m a little sad about is that it is hard to talk to him since his day is very full. Gow allows the kids to use their cell phones only in their dorm rooms. I think a lot of the schools try to implement a variation of this rule. As I barely saw any cell phone usage in any of the schools I’ve toured.

I hope my reviews of EHS and Gow helps somebody out there.

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So, our daughter got accepted to all of the schools she applied to and she has now decided she wants to stay at her current private school which offers no support. It’s hard to switch after sophomore year, which I understand but I don’t think she’ll be truly prepared for college just pushing through with mediocre grades and dwindling motivation. So, looking at Landmark College summer program now to try to help her gain the skills she needs. She needs mostly strategy and support and less true remediation although there are certainly some areas of weakness that could be remediated.

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Dear High School Parent 1-- you may also want to look at Edinboro, Mercyhurst and there is a school in New Jersey called Centenary that has a structured program. Yes, Landmark is a great school. I do know of several kids who go there to tour an realize it is not for them so look at several options. Landmark has many options but “fit” is also important.

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@libaya I have a daughter who has mild LD issues and is currently a Junior at Solebury. Her school has a strong learning skills department and I love that the teachers all know how to teach to how she learns. She isn’t in their learning skills program but she has access to those teachers for tutoring if she ever needs them. She’s been working with the head of the learning skills Math Dept on and off for the last two years and she’s been acing math ever since. The school also is very strong in the arts (she’s an artist). In fact, it’s one of 10 high schools in the nation that offer life drawing class to their art students. She’s not into sports so she joined theater as an alternative. Academics are fine (IMO) and their college placement is a little bit everywhere (from local to IVies).

I have two other children with LD issues and will definitely consider this school for them since it’s been such a great place for their big sis. Good luck with your search

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@NYCMomof3 I will look up solebury. Thank you. I’m going to start a list of those schools. Time flies by so fast. What other schools are you considering?
I’m not going to do serious research until he’s been at Gow longer. I have no idea what his profile will look like and how he will present. He came home for spring break and I’ve already noticed subtle but positive changes. I’m looking forward to see what happens when he’s been there for longer.

I’m surprised you didn’t send your D to a local school. I would imagine you had plenty of options at NYC?

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@libaya my oldest child went to a mainstream private school in NYC all the way through 8th grade. Boarding school was her idea and she’s been so happy at Solebury for the last three years. My middle child who is a 7th grader will be applying to Solebury this fall. She also has a LD but doesn’t need a specialized school as my youngest child does. My youngest is 8 yr and his LD are more severe than his sisters. He’s at a specialized private school here in NYC for kids with language based LD. When it’s his turn for high school, he may want to Solebury too. We will see when that time comes. Here in NYC the LD options aren’t as many as you would think (especially when you want a school that just deals with language issues). The competition is fierce for those few spots and the tuitions are outrageous.

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@NYCMomof3 Thanks for the info. Choosing BS is completely new to us. Still adjusting. For my kid with LD, 2 consultants said BS right away as their recommendation for him. It took 3 months of full-time researching and looking at other options before we finally realized BS was the only option for our son.

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@highschoolparent1 Probably a summer program at the school you would like to send her to would help. I understand that for a child that age, they need to buy into the decision to go to BS otherwise they wont own it and try to be successful. For my young 8th grader, he was scared, we made him go. He has only been there for 2 weeks but he is happy! Hard in some ways but easier for him to learn. I think that’s why he is happy. He was scared because he thought not only would he have to deal with same academic challenges and no support, but strict rules and no nurturing family to come home to. Do you know why your daughter doesn’t want to go?

Another alternative is hiring an executive skills function coach. I have heard of a few in the Bay Area.

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Hotchkiss is providing good support for a student friend of ours with late diagnosed dyslexia. And apparently Yale has a learning center set up to support dyslexic students.

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Chiming in on a somewhat different tact… I’ve been heavily involved not with Davidson but with another national group organized by and for families with profoundly gifted kids. IQ tests are so dependent on the assessor, and there can be a huge range at the upper ends of the scale…but…

A) many find that modified homeschooling (often skipping HS classes and going for community college courses) is the only path that works for these really highly gifted kids, particularly 2e; and B) I obviously don’t know you or your kid, but it is extremely rare in my experience that these kids don’t need some professional counseling - particularly as they hit the high school years. Even those of us with experience with these kids underestimate how often – every day – they experience the reality of being different. We know this intellectually, but we often don’t process what it is like to be reminded how different you are many many times every - single - day. It is a wonder they stay sane at all.

Then - and apologies if this is obvious, but they also have to deal with the consequences of being 2e – and for the truly very highly gifted 2e kid that means that when they work really hard, they often have little to show for their work, and when the work is really easy for them they will get lots of praise about the output - but don’t value it themselves because it was so easy for them. So they get rewarded not when they work hard, but when they don’t. So that is challenging too, to say the least.

So, adding to these great comments from others above, just a suggestion that if you are not already, start looking for a professional / theraputic counselor. And the challenge here is that there are very few counselors with experience with the 99.9+ kids. Way too many well meaning counselors will say they have experience with gifted kids… but not at this level, and your kid will simply play mental games with the unexperienced professional, and that too will drive home her own sense of estrangement from everyone else, again.

So - with the qualification that I don’t know anything about you or your child… And to be a bit pushy, …across many dozens of PG families, I do not know of any teen who has not been clinically depressed at some point, nor of any that did not need and benefit from professional theraputic support - regardless of the options you choose for schooling. (Oh, and with daughters? At this IQ level she went underground at age 3 or 4 already … so she is very practiced at covering this all up – but you already knew that.)

Good luck and best success as you and family travel this path! Best wishes and lots of respect for all that you have already done for your kid, and continue to do.

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@collegedad7 thanks for your reply. I’m not sure if it’s meant for me. Yes, my son does see a therapist who has 20+ years experience with kids (mostly from Davidson). It’s been helpful for everybody that he talks to her. I’m able to communicate her insight to school staff or sometimes she will write an email if she feels the need to do so. She also did an exercise where she had my son rate each accommodation as to 1)how helpful he found it to be and 2) how comfortable he is asking for the accommodation. I used it recently to update his accommodations.

Assessor–yes. Each assessor is different. Sometimes vastly. We’ve encountered 4 assessors so far. I have the most confidence in Barbara Gilman who has written several books about 2e kids and still does research. I read her book “Academic Advocacy for Gifted Children”. Gilman has now recommended that for the next assessment that DS be evaluated by somebody who is even more specialized with gifted Dyslexia. We’ve started talking already. One thing I didn’t know was that the assessor is usually the one that approves the accommodations on some standardized tests (SAT, ACT, etc). So it’s been helpful to have had a continuing dialogue with her and her group.

@dowzerw thanks for the recommendations! I didn’t know about Hotchkiss. I knew about Yale’s day school. Our Cate AO for older DS had gone to the Yale day school for his Dyslexia and strongly recommended that we find a specialized school for younger DS.

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I don’t think Hotchkiss has any kind of comprehensive support program or that they want to fill a niche; I just know they have done a good job with this particular 2e and it is a family which takes education seriously so is tuned in to what they need and if it is working successfully. Good luck to you. Sounds like your kids are fortunate to have you as their advocate.

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Reading all this with great interest. My middle schooler wants to follow sibling to BS in a few years, and we’re struggling with how much to disclose. Kid is SUPER organized, super type-A, very driven and has compensated very well in school to date (grades are good, with accommodation). But test scores tell a much different story, and so we’re wondering if we tell BS during application about the diagnosis, and risk them telling us they cannot accommodate a dyslexic child, or do we hide it, allowing them to wonder about the discrepancy of grades vs scores? When in reality the discrepancy kind of demonstrates how well the child can succeed with support - and is a credit to child’s hard work.

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@dowzerw thanks. I try. We are building a new house and I’ve been ignoring. I told my contractor that he can come back and remodel down the road but no do-over for my kids’ lives!

Yes, top schools don’t want to be known for special ed issues. I have heard that some of the top 30 BS are better than others for accommodations. It depends on each individual applicant. I’m guessing that a case can be made down the road depending on how DS#2’s teacher/school recommendations come out. I don’t think his test scores or grades will be an issue. When we toured Middlesex, #2 loved it. No learning support center. If my #1 has a good experience there I may try to feel them out because I think they would be open to a family they have already had a successful experience with. I would like to hear from other parents who have gone down this path before and get some advice. I just don’t want to be in a school where LD has to be hidden. I know that still happens. Like @collegedad7 said, we don’t need another reason to have a therapist!

@hellomaisy Consultant and I discussed this because DS#1 has slow processing but not evident in grades or test scores or ECs. We decided it wasn’t an issue. I think if it were I would have disclosed. Also my search criteria would have been different. But that’s me, I don’t think my kids need additional trauma.

There’s a thread discussing this issue under parents cafe I think.

Just curious, why haven’t you gotten test accommodations? Or test prep from someone who knows how to work with the LD? DS#1 wants test accommodations and keeps on bugging me for it. He usually gets 99% on standardized tests but he is concerned about AP and subject tests. I’ve been told that accommodations don’t show up in test reporting to schools.

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Accommodations don’t show up in test reporting to schools and they are more and more common. The process for getting them in place for standardized testing is quite lengthy compared to having them in place for school related work. I would def recommend getting the ball rolling as soon as you can. there is no reason NOT to and it will just be putting the option in place in the event it is needed. It is helpful esp for AP testing. subject tests are easy peasy-short so quick. Not so much of an issue there.

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Child just took SSAT for the first time - we wanted to see how kid did. 22% in reading, while 98% in math. Child has IEP accommodations in place at school, and we have a meeting this week with our Ed Psych, and asking for SSAT accommodations is on the table. I’m not sure how much they will help, tho. It’s one thing to get extra time, no bubbles, etc; it’s quite another to not be able to understand the reading comp questions. It is really more of a worry that we will scare BS into thinking they cannot accommodate child; when, in reality, of all my children, this child would be the most likely to succeed at/benefit from BS. And this child definitely wants it more. :frowning:

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I recall someone telling me that Salisbury has a good program for students that need extra support.

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Hun (in princeton) might be worth a look for a dyslexic child. The boarding community is small, but they have served local kids well. Pennington also has good learning support.