girl troubles

Pre-College Issues High School Life
1

<p>hey guys,</p>

<p>so I'm a senior in high school now in the US, and now that prom is sorta/kinda coming up I have been thinking about whether or not I will go. I really want to go, but I only want to go with a date. I have tried quite hard to get a girlfriend and/or hook up with a girl for years now with no success. I have read books on the subject, researched, etc... Everyone around me is hooking up left and right, and I feel left out. Now all I'm looking for is a prom date and I feel like I'm left in the dust with that. It's just that it seems logistically hard to find a date. It's not even that I'm shy; if I knew a girl somewhat well and talked to her somewhat often I could definitely try to bring up the prom topic and ask her to go with me, but I don't feel that is going to happen, considering the fact that all my friends are guy friends. I hang out with girls when I go clubbing with friends, and I seem to CONSTANTLY be around when everyone else is hooking up, but I never am, and it's definitely not because I don't want to be. What should I do for prom and what should I do post-Prom?</p>

2

<p>well i would suggest that you ask a girl that is our friend or at least kind of your friend so it wont be awkward during prom when you have nothing to talk about. If not ask a girl that you like or are interested in a mean the worst thing she can say is no and think of a creative or at least sweet way to ask here even chocolates or flowers will do.</p>

3

<p>thanks for your reply, but I’m not friends nor kinda friends with any girl. I party with them, I talk to them occasionally, but I have 0 friendships with them.</p>

4

<p>imakid:</p>

<p>As a Dad, let me give you some fatherly advice.</p>

<p>I know it is no solace to you now, but your time will come.</p>

<p>If not now, then perhaps a couple years from now.</p>

<p>I was totally lame with girls in high school, and truth be told, almost as lame in college.</p>

<p>But starting at about age 23, I did great with girls.</p>

<p>Also, I had a gorgeous girlfriend when I was in my late 20’s, and she told me that in high school, she was an “ugly duckling”. So girls are often in the same boat. </p>

<p>I never went to my senior prom. At the time, it seemed important, but with the hindsight of many years since then, believe me, it wasn’t.</p>

<p>So again, your time will eventually come.</p>

<p>No “research” is needed. You will improve your style and your personal demeanor as you get older.</p>

<p>When I was 23, I suddenly hit my stride. My mother came to visit me in Chicago, and when I picked up at the gate, she told me that as she was approaching the gate, she could see a guy who looked to her like a movie star. Only when she got closer did she see it was actually ME !!! A year before, I was pretty hopeless.</p>

<p>I think you will also find over time that the guys and girls who were the popular and attractive ones in high school may not be as such, ten years later. Things tend to even out. Kind of a “Revenge of the Nerds”.</p>

<p>So don’t worry if you don’t go to the prom. I have dated a number of gorgeous girls in my post college years, and guess what: When I was with them, it suddenly didn’t seem so important that I hadn’t gone to the senior prom. He who laughs last, laughs best.</p>

<p>Don’t try to force things with girls. If you act desperate, they pick up on that.</p>

5

<p>thanks floridadad, but in essence I feel like your response is “just chill, don’t worry about prom.” But that’s the thing, I don’t want to not worry about prom; I want to go. I want to go with a date.</p>

6

<p>Well then wake up and realize that it doesn’t matter</p>

7

<p>I’ve always set goals for myself and I have been driven. I got into Princeton early action because I worked for it. I have been working on this girl situation for years now, and it has been this one thing that has never worked out. Does anyone have any advice besides Prom doesn’t matter?</p>

8

<p>Ask a girl in the junior class. (She may be excited to go to senior prom.)
Ask a girl who is not considered to be more attractive than you are.
Ask a girl who you HAVE ever spoken to or hung out with before. (less awkward)</p>

<p>Ideally, ask a girl with as many of the above attributes as you can find. </p>

<p>Try not to feel too desperate, as it will show, and girls (people) generally don’t like that. </p>

<p>Good luck, and if it doesn’t work out ad you would like, take the dad’s post above to heart. You WILL end up with a girl eventually. Some people are later bloomers than others.</p>

9

<p>^The third option above. But really, don’t worry about prom. but if you must, “just Ask a girl who you HAVE ever spoken to or hung out with before.”</p>

10

<p>Part of the problem might be that you are 1) too focused on it and 2) come off as desperate. Girls hate that… BUT on the other hand, there are plenty of girls out there that are complaining that they have no one to go with. I would ask your friends if they know any girls in that situation or any girls who are looking for prom dates, but I would probably wait until it gets closer to prom. As people start getting dates, the people that don’t have dates yet start to panic a little bit and are more likely to say yes to people that they don’t know as well. </p>

<p>You can also start dropping hints to people or just making references to the fact that prom is coming up and see what response you get. Start talking to the girls in your classes and your friend’s friends. </p>

<p>Also, you kind of sound like you’re just interested in hooking up post-prom, not really going to prom itself… Since you aren’t romantically interested in anyone right now and will most likely be going with someone that you do not know as well, I wouldn’t expect anything from her in terms of hooking up afterward. Girls want a guy that actually cares about them, not just some jerk that wants to hook up…</p>

<p>Last thing, prom is WAY overrated and not nearly as fun as people make it out be. You would have just as much, if not more, fun just doing something with your other friends so dont stress, its really no big deal.</p>

<p>Good luck!</p>

11

<p>I think the OP should listen to this song: [99</a> PROBLEMS - YouTube](<a href=“99 PROBLEMS - YouTube”>99 PROBLEMS - YouTube)</p>

<p>1st thing I thought of when i read the the 1st post</p>

12

<p>imakid:</p>

<p>I am not simply recommending that you “chill” about the prom.</p>

<p>What I am saying is that we all develop socially at our own pace.</p>

<p>If you don’t yet have the social skills/style/personal demeanor/physical appearance to attract girls at the moment, then by trying to go to the prom, you are like a baseball player who is trying to play in the major leagues before he is ready. You need some seasoning in the minors. No disgrace in that.</p>

<p>I counsel PATIENCE. The “me” at age 18 would have been amazed and pleasantly surprised at how the “me” at age 28 was doing in the girls department. At the MOMENT, you feel that this is an important issue, but I am suggesting to you that it is not important at all.
If you don’t get a date for the prom, it won’t be a big deal, and I for one would prefer not to go to the prom if I were going with some girl I managed to scrounge up, rather than a girl that I was truly proud to go with. You sound like you would be content as long as the person you go with is female, and breathing. What exactly is your motivation for wanting to go to the prom so badly?. Is it so you won’t look bad in front of your friends? What is the point of going if you go with someone you aren’t even excited about going with?.</p>

<p>I concur with the idea of asking some girl who is in the 10th or 11th grade. A 12th grade boy is often socially backwards when compared to a 12th grade girl. On the other hand, to those girls in the 10th and 11th grade, you might be hot stuff.</p>

<p>In any case, none of this will seem important 10 years from now when you are with your beautiful wife/girlfriend. Let your life unfold naturally. Don’t press. If it happens, good, but if not, and you are alone on prom night, no big deal.</p>

<p>I would guess that a significant percentage of the guys in your class won’t wind up going to the prom, and that a significant percentage of those who do go are going up with some girl they dug up at the last minute (such as your mother’s friend’s daughter, or something like that)</p>

13

<p>This issue has been weighting constantly on me lately as well… Pretty much I wanted to go with a college girl that I liked but after me being a dick to her that doesn’t seem like that will work out. Luckily though, this one girl and I have a mutual friend who is trying to set us up for prom. So anyways, I would suggest seeing if one of your friends knows of anyone who needs a date.</p>