<p>so, to put it bluntly, i'm not that physically attracted to my girlfriend. before you say anything, please note that im not some kind of jerk who would leave my girlfriend based on appearances alone. this issue has been bugging me for a while now. my girlfriend is so nice and loving, but there's just no physical click. i dont know what to do besides lie to her that she's beautiful whenever she asks for reassurance. i need advice on what to do about this. if i tell her what i really think, she will burst into tears just like all girls would and say that i will cheat, and so on and so forth.</p>
<p>also, she keeps on telling me that, if i love her, i will think she is the most beautiful girl. i dont know how this works, or is it supposed to work this way? i know that most girls are not considered beautiful and that most guys will not get a beautiful woman. do you guys just grow to consider your woman beautiful or what? </p>
<p>Let her know. She will get ****ed and she may cry. She may hate you, but you can't keep it bottled up. Reassure her if she doubts you love her. If it was meant to be, it was meant to be. If it wasn't there will always be someone new. Besides, girls hate it more when you lie to them.</p>
<p>No don't tell her, that would hurt her so much. It is better just to say you like someone else because when it comes to beauty and girls that is personal and I don't want her scarred for life trying to get plastic surgery every year in her 20s and 30s or whatever. Well maybe it isn't that big of a deal and she'd get over it, depends on how sensitive she is I guess.</p>
<p>Could it be that you just want to be really good friends with her? I mean, usually when <em>love</em> comes into it there has to be a physical attraction at some level at least if you want to be physically close to her.</p>
<p>There is no nice way to say "you're not pretty." so be assured that it will crush her if you tell her that.</p>
<p>I basically agree with whatever equine99 said...and I'm a girl. I know I'd feel terrible if my guy told me he isn't physically attracted to me. You love your girlfriend's personality, but don't seem to share that 'spark' with her. So...maybe it would be better, for both of you, to remain close friends and nothing else.</p>
<p>I sympathize with you, because I recently broke up with my boyfriend for a similar reason. I resisted for a long time because I felt so horrible and shallow, but I finally realized that physical attraction is part of what distinguishes a relationship from a mere friendship. Plus, it's kind of gross to make out with someone you don't find terribly attractive ... no matter how much you enjoy his or her personality.</p>
<p>Dude, physical attraction matters... it really does.... you can't/I can't/anybody can't deny that FACT.</p>
<p>Her statements like this:
[quote]
she keeps on telling me that, if i love her, i will think she is the most beautiful girl.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>are guilt ridden, and shouldn't be said. She obviously knows that she isn't very attractive (to you at least) or she wouldn't be giving you this guilt--that you DON'T need. It's not unlike a guy telling a girl if you love me you will swallow my cum and love every minute of it.</p>
<p>The relationship will not work if you are not attracted to her. I think it is very common, however, for someone to not nessecarily be very pretty but somehow be physically attractive to their SO for whatever reason. This is not the case for you, unfortunately. </p>
<p>You deserve someone you can be attracted to, and she deserves someone who is attracted to her. </p>
<p>So if you are going to tell her, don't phrase it in a "you're not attractive, period." way. Phrase it in a "I somehow just can't find myself thinking of you that way, even though I see you're very pretty and plenty of other guys think so too" way. Do the whole "It's not you, it's me" thing.</p>
<p>may i ask, how did you get to become her boyfriend in the first place? i'm assuming she didn't trick you into the relationship by somehow masking her true physical appearance and appearing to you as a beautiful mermaid princess. perhaps you were attracted to something more than her physical appearance originally (her personality), in which case, your feelings might simply have changed. it happens .. :/</p>
<p>username, to be frank, why are you with her, then? If you are not attracted to her, there's no point to be with her. Are you going along just for the kicks, lol? </p>
<p>Sometimes, I think people forget that behind the facade of romance lies one major quality, attraction, you know the chemistry, the bada-bing bada-boom, that zing that makes your heart soar and hormones roar. If there's no majic between you two, there's no sustenance in your relationship. You should save her the false promises and the misled heart and break up with her. You seem sincere in your plea, so I trust you'll do the right thing. Be honest, don't say she's ugly (since that's harsh and subjective), and tell her that she's a great person, that you don't want to lead her on, but that you don't love her that way. </p>
<p>I hope everything works out, but, please, don't keep doing this to her. She deserves more than lies. Sure, it'll hurt her when you break it off. But, she'll get over it. Hearts are fragile, but they do recover.</p>
<p>hmm yeah why are you with her? i mean you told her shes beautiful and you know that she gets hit on guys and such, so its not taht shes ugly. so maybe it is you original poster. you just shouldnt be with her</p>
<p>It's kind of obvious why he was with her in the first place. He was horny/desperate. It's ok. Most guys will settle for the ugly chick once in their lives, only to realize his mistake later on.</p>
<p>Just be nice when you break up. I mean, you wouldn't want a girl to tell you she broke up with you because your dick was too small, would you? It's kind of the same thing here.</p>
<p>nevermind, i was being an ass. its gotten better. i guess we just fought too much because her parents didnt like me and that hurt the physical attraction. it has gotten better now. thanks for the support though. i appreciate your opinions.</p>
<p>Dump her. A relationship without physical attraction on both parts should be just a friendship. Tell her you have STDs or something ;). Nah, just like, tell her you don't want a relationship and leave out the part about her being ugly. You can't keep forcing yourself to stay in a relationship that you're obviously very doubtful about. I know I couldn't make myself hook up with someone I didn't find attractive. You're not going to ever think she's beautiful. If anything, you're going to notice more and more of her flaws as time goes on and you're going to have to keep convincing yourself to stay in a situation that clearly isn't right.</p>